How To Be Confident As A Woman In 5 Easy Steps

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Knowing how to be confident as a woman is something that comes from within.  Confidence is not some unique thing that is reserved for the most perfect, beautiful, or skinny women among us.  It is something that comes internally.    And you may think that I am full of crap for saying this and I just want to feed you lies but let me tell you something.

I am a dark skin woman and although being “thick” is in now it was not in when I was growing up.  I did not have long “good hair”, I was not light-skinned, and most of my black features such as lips, butt, and hips people at that time did not like.  But I learned to like it, I learned to own it and because I did, other people did too.  You having confidence is an inward thing and it does not have to do with how other people feel about you, anyone can do it, and know that when you do you are changing how other people see you.

As a woman, you may have been told not to appear TOO confident because then you will look like you are too independent and a man won’t want you. Instead, you must come off as being a little “needy” to show a man that NEED him. You don’t need anyone but Jesus, and if you are of that mindset then you need to snap out of it. That makes no logical sense.

When you choose to embrace being confident that does not mean that you are too independent for your own good, it does not make you a hater of all men, and it does not make you any less feminine.  Often times when women give off the confident woman persona, there are lies that are told to the confident woman in an attempt to dim her light. For example:

• You are too confident and no man will ever want you because (fill in the blank).
• Your confidence is a turn off and you are not as fly as you think you are
• You think to highly of yourself. 
• Or any other comment to put you down when you attempt to have any self esteem either by men AKA a romantic interest or by other women just because women tend to take low key jabs at one another.  

That is a technique used by insecure people who are not confident themselves (oftentimes this is the case with women). With men, this is just an emotionally abusive technique and they are trying to screw with your self-esteem to show you that you are not as fancy as she thinks is and that is their way to hold you down to get control of you. Don’t feed into it.

But with a REAL confident woman, not just a semi-confident woman that is pretending to be a confident woman.  She knows there is no one who can come and knock her off of the throne. And therefore, I am going to teach you the ins and outs of how to be a confident woman.

For more tips on self-esteem and building confidence check out my video below. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.  

1. How To Be Confident As A Woman ~ The Confident Woman Likes Herself

When you think of how to be a confident woman how can you be confident and portray that to the world if you do not even like yourself? What sense does that make? You would not believe how many women there are wandering around out there who do not even like themselves.  If you do not like yourself then how can you expect other people to like you? Often people who do not like who they are, latch on to other people’s personalities and mimic them.

They may see XYZ celebrity on TV and see that she is confident and then take on her persona.  OR they may look at their boss, friend, or significant person in their life, see that woman as confident and they will start to copy the confidence that they see in other women thinking that this is the way to make them confident.  That type of confidence is fake.  That type of confidence is not you, it is just an imitation of someone else and the imitation is never the real thing because then you are just pretending.  And more than anything, copying someone else signifies that you are not okay or confident enough with being you so now you have to pretend to be someone else.  And FAKE and PHONY can be spotted a mile away.

But a confident woman knows that she was made unique (see my blog here) that there is no one to imitate but herself, she likes who she is as a person, and she does not want to change that and she does not have to take on the personality of someone else as a way to “show her uniqueness.”

When you are a confident woman you choose to accept yourself as is, knowing that even the things that are “abnormal” about you are the things to be celebrated.  These are the things that make you stand out and instead of hiding them you choose to embrace them.

2. How To Be Confident As A Woman Has High Self Esteem

Knowing how to be a confident woman is knowing that confidence does not come from what she perceives as “perfection.”  Because perfection cannot be achieved.  And if you are telling yourself that you will be more confident when you “fill in the blank” you will always be chasing something else never choosing to be confident now.

Confidence does not mean that you are perfect and that you cannot improve, we are always improving but we always know that we are still pretty awesome although we are a work in progress.   When I gained so much weight and weighed over 200lbs, and then lost 70 pounds; I did not like the weight gain but I was still confident in myself because I liked myself.  That didn’t mean I was not going to change my diet, because I did, but the changes on my outside did not change how I felt about myself.

The confident woman may look in the mirror and say “hey I could lose some weight.” But no matter if she thinks she needs to lose weight or not she still feels good about herself.

Everyone has things that they may wish they can improve or make better. But the confident woman does not allow these small things to just make her feel like crap about her appearance. She has high self-esteem regardless.

A confident woman will not sit in the mirror every day and pick herself apart naming all the things that are wrong with her. Scrolling through social media comparing herself to some unrealistic idea of beauty.  Confidence is based in reality, it is based on acceptance, and it is based on constructive criticism based on constructive improvement.

A confident woman thinks she is beautiful regardless of the things she wants to improve about herself if she wants to improve anything at all.

3. How To Be Confident As A Woman ~ A Confident Woman Does Not Care What You Think (Read my blog here)

The third way on how to be a confident woman is that the confident woman can get talked about (see my blog here), bullied, and people can be jealous of her (see my blog here).  And guess what she does not care in the least. In fact, she may be a little flattered that all these people think so much of her to keep her name in their mouths.

Not to toot my own horn but I feel I am a confident woman and not because I say that about myself but because even other people have noticed this about me.  I did not get that way just by lollipops and gumdrops falling out of the sky and things going my way.  I had to face nos, rejection, and adversity. From enemies, from frenemies, and even sometimes from friends.  Sometimes it is the very same people who think they are helping you that is actually pulling you down. I had to decide to stand up one day and say “enough, I am going to do, be, and feel how I want without the outside opinion of other people.

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5

A non-confident woman is a people pleaser and will try to change depending on what people say and about her or follow other people’s advice on what she should or should not do. Even if it makes her unhappy. A confident woman is an eagle (see my blog here) not a duck. She does not need a flock and she does not need other people to validate her of what she is doing with her life. She has confidence in her decisions and knows that even though she makes mistakes (as everyone does) it is just a learning process.  Mistakes do not deter her, nor do other people’s negative words, or the fact that no one wants to encourage her.  She has enough, confidence to encourage herself even on the days where no one else wants to. Also, check out my video below on how not to care what people think.

4. How To Be Confident As A Woman ~ The Confident Woman is Decisive

A confident woman knows what she wants and she knows how to make decisions.  It is terrible when you see a woman and you ask her one simple question.  “What do you want to eat, where do you want to go on a date, what do you want for your birthday, or what do you want out of life” and the woman does not know. Or they do not want to say because they are afraid of making the wrong decision or making a decision that is against the decision of the majority.

That signifies indecisiveness and a people-pleasing mentality.  The key on how to be a confident woman is knowing what you want, being okay with what you want, and being able to verbalize and decide what you want.  When you are a confident woman it should go without saying that you are not making random decisions with no sense of logic, BUT rather with confidence comes logic and making decisions based on what she wants, what makes sense, without second-guessing herself. The confident woman believes in herself so much that she values her own opinion more than she values other people’s. But she does know how to listen to other people and to consider their opinion when needed BUT she has the ultimate say.

5. How To Be Confident As A Woman ~ She is Confident Not A Doormat

I wrote about this in my what-if versus the oh well blog. A confident woman does not sit and chase a man and allows herself to be disrespected in a relationship. Even if it means that she has to walk away and be single, she would rather do that than be in a bad relationship.  A lot of women think it is confident to chase a man or to approach men. WRONG. All that says is that you are not confident enough to think that you can get the man to approach you (read my blog here on why you should not chase a man).

The confident woman knows that she is worth approaching and that if a man cannot approach her then he must not be into her, he must not be worth it, or he must not want her bad enough. And even in these situations she does not sit and wonder what the reasoning is.

The confident woman knows that she brings something to the relationship and therefore does not sit around wondering why a man does not want her, why he chose another woman over her (see my blog here), or why he is not calling her. She simply does not care that much. Also, check out my video below on being a woman worth more than rubies.

Here are all the tips on how to be confident as a woman. Now that you have seen some of the characteristics of a confident woman you should know how to be a confident woman. And no I am not telling you to walk into a room with confidence and trick everyone, I am telling you to BECOME HER FOR REAL. That is not arrogance that is called self-worth.

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If you are having some issues with your self esteem sometimes you just have to tell yourself something until you believe it and that is where affirmation comes in. Get my guide for only $10. Click here or the picture below full of affirmations that will help turn you into that confident woman.