He Chose Another Woman! Why Did He Choose Her Over Me?

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This is an age old question that women ask themselves when a man has left them for another women. “Why did He Chose Her Over Me?”  As a woman myself I can tell you that we have all been there.  We have an ex that married another woman a few months after they broke up with you. Or a man that  cheated on you and he still chose another woman over you even though you are the one who got cheated on! It is hard to love a man that you thought was your man; who confesses that he is in love with someone else.  He Chose Another Woman! Why Did He Chose Her Over Me?

Instead of getting over it, We social media and Facebook stalk the other woman.  We want to know about her, what she looks like.  We want to try to understand what makes a man chose another woman over us.  When you see her, you are smarter than her, look better than her, and you feel you are obviously the best choice.

So many questions run through your mind!

  • What does he see is her?
  • Why did he chose her?
  • Why did he cheat on me with her?
  • Why did he have an affair with her?
  • What does she have that I don’t have?
  • Is something wrong with me?

I am no psychic and cannot look into your individual situation,  but what I can do is try to shed some light for you so that you can understand.  The first thing you must do is to get into the maturity of the man.  For example, if a man is just dating and not looking to be serious then he is always going to hop around from woman to woman and there is no reason trying to wreck your brain to figure out why he is choosing another woman over you.  When this is obviously his pattern. There is always going to be another woman for him to chose because that is how he is.  The issue is him and not you.

But what about the man that says he is ready to settle down, get married, and he still chooses another woman over you?

What about when he dumps you for someone else and then marries another woman?

That is what confuses us.  Here we were, dating him for 3 years, and waiting for the ring when he comes home to tells us he is in love with someone else and then six months later he marries her!
He Chose Another Woman! Why Did He Chose Her Over Me?I think a feasible explanation comes down to this.

From what I have seen emotionally healthy men who are ready to get married choose the woman who they feel will make the best wife to them.  So although you may think you are the obvious choice he may be looking for something different. And the fact that he was with you for so long means nothing.  He was just biding time with you, so that he could have a girlfriend. When really he was waiting for another woman, that better suits his needs, to come along.  I know it is a hard truth to accept, but 9 times out of 10 that is just how it is.

He may chose another woman over you because, in his eyes, he sees her as a harder work, better wife, better mother, being a good person, being trust worthy, or in short he just may see her as something that he is looking for in a wife.  He may see something in her that he does not see in you.

Or with some of the men these days, he may have chosen her off the simple fact that she may be more physically attractive or  can do 1,000 tricks in the bedroom that you can’t do.

If none of these answers answer your questions of “why he chose her over me?” Then you may never get your answer.  And more than anything you must learn that, that is okay.

If a man does not want you, then why do you want him.  If he cannot see the value in you, then that is his problem.  Not yours. (Click to Tweet)

It should not make you feel bad about yourself, it should just make you understand that you may not fit into his life the way he needs a woman to fit in his life.  

So why did he chose another woman?

  • It could be because she is more of “wife material.”
  • It could be because she fits into his life better than you.
  • It could be because he does not see the value in you and who you really are.
  • It could be that even though nothing is wrong with you, she is the woman of his dreams and your not.  No matter how dysfunctional she may be.

What does matter is that he chose her over you, he may have cheated on you, he may have dumped you for someone else.  But it does not matter,  and you cannot wreck your pretty little head over it or try to convince him to come back.  Why would you want to?  Instead, wait for a man who will chose you and that sees you as his first choice and only choice.  Never be a man’s second winner up.

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About Sophia Reed (318 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at sophiareed@sophie-sticatedmom.com

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