I was a bit of a wild child, but in the end I have learned from my mistakes. I will say that I am a personal example that someone can go from a hot mess to a virtuous women. With each life experience, relationship, being a mother, and a whole lot conviction from God. I have learned and grown into a new person.
Back then I would be so worried about why a man doesn’t want me, why he doesn’t love me, why he broke up with me, or why he doesn’t care. I was willing to tolerate the disrespect because I wanted to prove that I was the woman for him. But those types of relationships were exhausting. I learned that I could be single and happy (see my blog here on that). And one of the perks of being single is that I learned something very important. I learned to be a Proverbs 31 woman, I seek to be a virtuous woman, and not just some woman in a relationship with a man that doesn’t want me.
Becoming a virtuous woman means looking beyond your relationship status.
“A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10
When you examine the verse you will see that an interesting fact about rubies is that they are in fact more rare than diamonds. So imagine what esteem you should hold yourself when dealing with some of these men.
Would anyone in their right mind who has worked hard to afford one of the most luxuries gems then turn around and throw the same gem against the wall, harm it, or ruin it? Of course not. Because they know how much it is worth and they have worked hard for it. Therefore any man who is not willing to treat you like a gem is not it. If he doesn’t want you, he is not it. If he doesn’t want a relationship with you, he is not it, and if he doesn’t care about you, then he is not it. Why cry tears over someone if he doesn’t want you or doesn’t want to love you!
Let me give you a metaphor, so I can explain this better. There are 20 gems that are in a display case. Only one of them is real and the other are all knocks offs. Some knock offs are better than others but there is only one real ring in the batch and that it you. |Then comes along some buyers. As the buyers come through they pick up the knock off. This is because they are not trained to know what a real gem looks like (read my blog on the counterfeit man). So they just pick up whatever they think is the real thing and take it home. As the knock off gets taken and the real one sits there wondering why all the buyers keep choosing the fakes over them.
But then in comes a buyer in a nice suit and he comes directly over to the real gem, picks it up, and buys it. Right away. Because he is a real buyer and he trained in knowing what a real gem looks like. You see there are many knock off women, but there is only one you. And you are the virtuous woman. If a man wants to choose the knock off over you then let them. There is no reason to get all bent up out of shape about it, chase a man, or trying to convince him that you are the real thing. Why would you want to? He is not a real buyer. He can’t even tell a fake gem from the real one, why would you want someone like that.
Instead, wait for the real buyer. The one who is able to recognize a virtuous woman from a mile away, sees her value, and is willing to do anything to get her. You are the you are the gem, you are the ruby. And what gem chases it’s owner down. It is the owner that looks everywhere for the perfect gem. You should not have to convince a man how pretty you are, shiny, nice, how much you would look good on him. He should just know that for himself, and if he doesn’t like you back then good riddance.
Women, we cannot allow men to continue to disrespect us and keep passing it up as okay. Many men show signs that he doesn’t like you or signs that he doesn’t love you anymore, but they want to play with your emotions and pick you up when he wants and put you down when he wants, and want you to always come back. Women you have the ability to determine how someone treats you. Even if it means that you have to walk away and never talk to them again. Yeah they would be gone out of your life, but at least they will not disrespect you anymore.
Some women have to get over the fear of being an old maid. It is this fear that they will never get married that drives women to stay with men that are no good for them. When in fact it is this same fear that is keeping them away from the man that is good for them. Because they are putting all there energy and time into the wrong one.
You are the virtuous woman, you are the ruby, let the counterfeit buyer go to the counterfeit gem.
If he doesn’t want you, if he doesn’t love you, and if he doesn’t care, then why should you. (Click to Tweet)
If he broke up with you then let that man go to the knock off. Maybe she is a gem to him, but he is not your buyer.