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If He Doesn’t Want You Then He Doesn’t Deserve You

Recently I have been running into men of the past that want to reconnect in some way shape or form. At first I almost fell back into the trickery of their nonsense until I quickly realized to re-visit the past would only prolong my future.conflict-recovery1

These men were men that I knew from my  20’s And I am not the same person in my 30’s that I was in my 20’s. I made some mistakes, I was a bit of a wild child, but in the end I have learned from my mistakes. With each life experience, relationship, and being a mother, I have learned and grown into a new person. As all people should. If you are the same person now that you were years ago, making the same mistakes, then it is time to look at doing something different.

In any case, as I reconnected with these men out of curiosity, they tried to speak to me like I was the 20 something year old Sophia. Treat me like I was the 20 year old Sophia. And I quickly realized that I needed to walk away.

Back then I may have been willing to tolerate the disrespect but now as a grown woman that has already been there and done that, there is no way I am going to settle for you talking to me all types of crazy. What they do not know is that during that time away from them, I learned something very important.
“A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10 

An interesting fact about rubies is that they are in fact more rare than diamonds. So imagine what esteem you should hold yourself in when dealing with some of these men.

woman-in-red-pointing-at-man-on-couch-arguingWould anyone in their right mind who has worked hard to afford one of the most luxuries gems then turn around and throw the same gem against the wall, harm it, or ruin it? Of course not. Because they know how much it is worth and they have worked hard for it.  Therefore any man who is not willing to treat you like a gem is not it.

Let me give you another example. There are 20 gems that are in a display case. Only one of them is real and the other are all knocks offs. Some knock offs are better than others but there is only one real ring in the batch and that it you. |Then comes along some buyers. As the buyers come through they pick up the knock off. This is because they are not trained to know what a real gem looks like. So they just pick up whatever they think is the real thing and take it home. As the knock off gets taken and the real one sits there wondering why all the buyers keep choosing the fakes over them.

But then in comes a buyer in a nice suit and he comes directly over to the real gem, picks it up, and buys it. Right away.

I know you are wondering what in the world I am talking about?

Well let me lay it out for you. You see there are many knock off women, but there is only one you. If a man wants to choose the knock off over you untitledthen let them. There is no reason to get all bent up out of shape about it, chase a man, or trying to convince him that you are the real thing. Why would you want to? He is not a real buyer. He can’t even tell a fake gem from the real one, why would you want someone like that.

Instead, wait for the real buyer. The one who is able to recognize a real woman from a mile away and is willing to do anything to get her. You are the you are the gem, you are the ruby. And what gem chases it’s owner down. It is the owner that looks everywhere for the perfect gem.

You should not have to convince a man how pretty you are, shiny, nice, how much you would look good on him. He should just know that for himself, and if he doesn’t good riddance.

Women, we cannot allow men to continue to disrespect us and keep passing it up as okay. Many men have it in their mind that they can say and do whatever they want to woman and she will still come back. And most of the times they can, because often times no matter what a man does to a woman, she comes back. Women you have the ability to determine how someone treats you. Even if it means that you have to walk away and never talk to them again. Yeah they would be gone out of your life, but at least they will not disrespect you anymore.

Quarrel between men and womenSome women have to get over the fear of being an old maid. It is this fear that they will never get married that drives women to stay with men that are no good for them. When in fact it is this same fear that is keeping them away from the man that is good for them. Because they are putting all there energy and time into the wrong one.

Yes I was willing to walk away but even more shocking is that they did not even know what they were doing wrong. It seems talking to woman any type of way and showing disrespect has somehow become their norm. When I call them out on it, I was basically told that they were not interested in me anyway. Well good.  When I look at them living with their mom, having no direction in life, spending their time going from woman to woman, I think to myself they have nothing that I want.

It goes back to the ruby, let the counterfeit buyer go to the counterfeit gem. If he does not see my value or know my worth then that’s on him. I will continued to wait for a more experienced buyer that does.



About Sophia Reed (293 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at

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