Most women have had experiences with dealing with a break up. We whine for the man that we think we want and feel like it is the end of the world when they break up with us. If this situation is you, then you have come to the right place because I am here to give you some break up advice and to teach you how to deal with a break up. When I went through my massive breakup I was upset. But then reality hit me and I ask myself the following questions. Which I also suggest you ask yourself.
What are you upset for? Are you upset that a man that did not want you and broke up with you? In that case, shouldn’t you happy that he broke up with you. Why would you want someone that does not see how awesome you are? Secondly, he kept you from making a huge mistake in being with him, AND last he set you free so that you can find someone that really does want to be with you. So don’t try to get your ex back. Why would you want to? Never want someone who does not want you. Always remember that rule.
The second relationship advice that I will give you, is that you cannot let your breakup disrupt your entire way of being. Suicide or being a side chick is not the answer to your break up. Never think that because he broke up with you that you are not worth more.
After a break up many women move on to food, sex, drugs, alcohol, and everything in between to get their mind off of off the break up. All this is doing is destroying yourself instead of making yourself better. You may be wondering how can I get over a break up or how do I pretend to be happy when everything in my soul is telling me to jump off a building? I tell you this. Dealing with a break up is not easy, but sitting there and thinking about your ex or how much your life sucks without your ex, is not going to help.
It is okay to mourn for a little while. (By little while, I mean a few weeks or a month at most…..NOT YEARS!). No, everything will not be better in a week. But the days of you sitting on the couch, calling out from work, and eating ice cream all day should be over. At some point you should get up, put on some clothing, make up, and get some fresh air. Do not let the fact that one man did not want you be a reason to have a mental break with reality.
You need to adapt the attitude that losing you is their lost. BECAUSE IT IS. If someone is willing to pass your over, then why would want to be with them anyway? Why would you want to be with anyone that did not appreciate your value and was willing to let you go? I think after a break up, most of the reasons as to why we are upset are due to selfishness. Because that person was not the one, we have to start over, or they hurt our feelings. Nine times out of ten before the person broke up with you, the relationship was not all peaches and cream anyway.
Is it okay to have trouble dealing with a break up? Yes. It is not okay to be needy, making drunken calls to your ex, and beg for them to come back! Being needy does not make a man want to come back or make them realize what a mistake they made. If they do not want to be with you, then they do not want to be with you. I CANNOT SAY THAT ENOUGH. And them not wanting you should be enough to not make you want them. Even if they did come back because you are stalking their life and threatening to die without them, it would just be for pity not because they really want to come back. It would be because they feel sorry for you and do not want to be the cause of your mental break down.
So if you want to know how to deal with a break up, the best break up advice I can give you is to put on your big girl panties and get over it. THAT’S IT. Do Not gain another 100 pounds, beg for the person to come back, or wonder what you did wrong. At the end of the day it does not matter. What matters is that you ex wants to be your ex. So let them. Heal, move on, and learn whatever you need to learn. All that matters is your future and not your past (see my blog here), and the longer you linger on someone that is not it, the more you are prolonging the one that is. Do not let one break up hinder you from growing.