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Boyfriend vs husband privileges are not the same. If you were to ask me a woman should not be giving a boyfriend the privileges of a husband. If you have not read my blog on the difference between a girlfriend and a wife please click here to check that out. Just like there are differences between a girlfriend and a wife, there are differences between a boyfriend and a husband.
And because they are not the same they should not get the same privileges. I do not care if you live together, if you have children together, or if you have met his family. I do not even care about a common law marriage. Unless you have a legal binding document, also knows as marriage certificate, then you are not married, and therefore, he is not your husband.
I do not even care if he is your fiancé. I have witnessed a man drag out an engagement for years and years and still never marry a woman. So a fiancé is still not your husband.
A husband is dedicated to you, so much so that he is willing to obtain a marriage certificate that stands up in the court of law and if he wants out of your marriage then he must take legal action to do. That is a husband.
When a man goes through all of that to be your husband, then he is really saying that you mean something to him. If a man is not willing to go through all of that then why are you willing to give him the same benefits as a man who is.
Here are 3 Boyfriend vs Husband Privileges and Why You Should Never Give A Boyfriend Husband Benefits.
You know that I was going to take it here. I will address the elephant in the room and say no I am not a virgin. I have a child and he was not conceived by the Holy Spirit. So it is safe to say that I had sex before. But I no longer have sex and have been celibate for some time now. That is not say I do not enjoy sex, because I do. But the main thing is that I do not think that any man deserves my body unless he is willing to get married. Because sex with me is one of those privileges that come along with getting married. (Click my blog here about why I chose to be celibate).
Sex clouds your judgment. It makes you believe that a relationship is more than what it is, it makes a woman believe that a man cares for her more than he does, and it can make a woman believe that she is in love when she really isn’t. Without sex, it forces you to talk and really see the man for what he is. There is no good sex to hide behind that will cloud your judgment. AND it will reveal a man’s true intentions. If he is just there for the sex and when he finds out you are not having sex with him, he will leave. If he wants to get to know you for you, then he will stay.
Sex is not a relationship (see my blog here on that). Sex is not everything. A true relationship that ends in marriage is about knowing each other BEYOND the bedroom and understanding that you have a mental connection that will stand the test of time. And once that connection is established and a man becomes our husband, then that is when he can get the reward of your sex.
I am so against playing house. I used to live with a boyfriend of mine and it was not good. I was the only one on the lease and all the bills were in my name. He had the freedom to walk out whenever he wanted to. And he did. When we broke up he left and that was that. Playing house is when you pretend to be husband and wife but you are not actually husband and.
I do not care if his name is on the house or if both of your names are on the house. What is all comes down to is if you want to pretend so badly, then what is the harm of making it official? Often times playing house will lead you into years of being a pretend wife to a boyfriend that you live with. You may cook for him and clean for him, and he make you believe that he is your husband without actually being your husband. He has one foot in and one foot out.
With my ex, he still did everything that he wanted to do. He would go out and come in at all times of the night. I would not know where he was or where he was going, and his excuse would be
“We are not married, I can do what I want.”
And what he was saying was true, because he was not really married to me and therefore had no real obligation to me. And here I was pretending to be a wife to a fictitious marriage. Living with him and playing wife without actually being a wife.
When you get married there is no my money or his money. It really all just blurs together. When you married you should be making financial decisions together. You buy cars together and a house together. But with a boyfriend you should not be co-signing for him a car. Because if you break up it gives him the right to ruin your credit. He is not your husband. He does not care. You should not be giving him money, paying his bills, or anything like that.
I had a friend that was paying for her boyfriend’s mortgage to this huge house. Her philosophy is that she is making an investment on her future house. My philosophy is that she is making an investment on his house. She did not live there, her name was not on anything, and when he left her for another woman she saw that she invested in a mansion she never lived in. And now that he is married to this other woman, that other woman gets the house because she is his wife. My friends, gets nothing.
If you want your boyfriend to be your husband then you need to be making steps to make that happen. Those steps does not include treating him like your husband, those steps include talking to him point blank and asking him
“Where are we going with this?”
Pay attention to his answer and you will quickly see if he plans on being your boyfriend or if he wants to transition into your husband. When you give a boyfriend husband benefits, that is when you start to feel used and abused when he leaves. You think to yourself that this is another man that you gave your all to and it turned out to be nothing. It is a simple solution, do not give your all to anyone. Give your all to your husband. When that man becomes your husband that is when he can get in on all the benefits he has been missing out before you were married. Give him something to look forward to.
Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?