Are you a single mom wondering how to meet men as a single mom? From single mom to single mom I know how hard it is to meet men. You may be restricted when it comes to time, energy, you do not feel right going to these clubs and partying your brains out because after all you are someone’s mother.
In this post I will give you some ideas on how to meet men as a single mom. But before we get started I do have to get some things out of the way. I understand that as a single mother you want to date and/or be in a relationship. But meeting a man is not an excuse to develop single mom syndrome and abandon your children (see my blog here). I also do not believe in chasing and running down men to date you. Desperation is not a good look (see my blog here).
Instead, understand as a single mom there should be a caliber of men that you are trying to meet. When I say caliber I am not referral to being a gold digger. But, I do feel you need someone that is equally yoked with you (see my blog here). And all that really means is that if you are a mother looking for a serious relationship then you need a man that likes children, is looking for a serious relationship, and is living a life that shows that he can be the man of the house hold and be a good example in front of your kids.
The party goer type of man who does not want to be tied down to anything is not a good situation for a single mom. Therefore, all of my how to meet man as a single mom will focus on quality type of men you can meet. I also wrote about how to meet quality men in my blog here.
How To Meet Men As A Single Mom – Where To Meet Them
As a single mom your time without your children may already be limited. Therefore you want to try to incorporate the places you go as a natural part of your day without having to pay for a baby sitter or not being able to pick up your children from the after school program.
The first place to meet men is happy hour. Happy hour is such a good idea because more people go after work, which means that you know men you meet there are more likely to have a job; which is what I mean by caliber of men. Ideally as a single mother looking to meet a man you do not want a man with no job. That will be like you taking care of another child (click to read my blog here on not taking care of a man). And the bonus of happy hour is that you can go right after work and leave at a decent time to be home in time to take care of your children.
How To Meet Men As A Single Mom at Happy Hour Do’s and Don’ts
- Do not get crappy drunk and or vomit all over the place.
- Do look like you came from work, click here for some from work to happy hour ideas.
- Do go to a good professional restaurant for happy hour. It will increase your chances of running into those good caliber men we were talking about.
- Do not go to happy hour places where they are known for drugs and/or shootings, you want to come out of this alive.
Coffee Shop. I understand that some moms do not have time to sit and go to happy hour after work, they may have to rush and pick up their children. So you can also try before work. Going into a coffee shop or Starbucks to have morning coffee is a great way to meet men. Also, it is more likely that men in coffee shops in the morning are also getting ready to go to their job. If you notice a key trend here is a man with a job. As a single mother that is the man you want because he shows responsibility.
How To Meet Men As A Single Mom at Coffee Do’s and Don’ts
- Do be prepared with your appearance. Meaning that you should have your makeup on and your hair already done, you never know who you might see (click my blog here).
- Which means do not still be getting dressed in the coffee shop. There should be no scarf on your head or rollers in your hair. You should be fully dressed and dressed like you are about to go to work.
- Do look busy, bring a lap top or something.
- Do not just randomly stare at men that you are interested in and try to will with your mind that they will notice you. That is scary. Remember no desperation, just putting yourself in position.
Bookstore. The bookstore can be ideal for a self-trip or a kid trip. What I do NOT recommend is going to obviously troll for men with your children with you. But if you bump into one and he ask for your number no harm no foul. It is not like you are going to go make out in front of your kids in the book store. Or I hope not. A book store can be good because they often have kids sections where you children can enjoy their time there to and it has all sections for men as well. As an added bonus many of them have a coffee shop and wifi. Feel free to enjoy some coffee, hook up to the wifi, and get some work done. Once again men who read are GOOD. That is what I mean by when I say single mother should look for a certain caliber of men. Ones that have positive habits, like reading.
How To Meet Men As A Single Mom at Book Stores Do’s and Don’ts
- Do not openly flirt with a guy if your kids are with you. Make polite conversation and if he ask for your number give it. Do not plan dates in front of your kids or make sexual innuendos in front of them thinking that they do not know what you are talking about.
- Do not let your kids run all over the store while you scout for a man, you are still a mom, be a good mom and maintain supervision over your children.
- Do not follow men around the store or go into the men’s section when it is obvious that you do not belong there. That says desperate.
- Do go to the book store looking presentable, even if you want to look casual. Check out my blog here on how to be casual but still classy AND this blog on how to get your sexy back as a single mom.
At work. I am not anti-dating people at work (see my blog here) as long as it is done right. Depending on the job you have there may be many agencies in the building in which you work. Go to the coffee shop in the building, the Cafeteria at work, if you work in the business district or a busy area then go outside a few times of week and sit and eat lunch there. It is a large chance other people i.e men will get on their lunch break, from their job, as well and you may strike up a conversation with one of them.
How To Meet Men As A Single Mom at Work Do’s and Don’ts
- Do not get in trouble for sexual harassment by trying to come on to someone. It is better just to be their friend first and if they are interested in you, then they will ask you out.
- Do not start dressing really sexy at work to get someone attention. You can still be classy and fashionable at work click here to read my blog.
- Do not openly sleep and or flirt with everyone at work, the last thing you want to do is to get a bad reputation.
- Do not spend so much time with the man you like at work that you are actually considered a bad employee. As a singlemother I am sure you need your job, maintain priorities.
- Do not let anyone know that you are interested and/or dating someone at work. It is no one business.
The gym. Men like to workout and if you like to work out or want to start working out then go to the gym. Once again as a single mother if you are pressed for time then try to go during your lunch break, before work, or right after work. Anytime is a good time for men to be at the gym. As a bonus there are many gyms who also offer childcare as apart of the membership fee, which for single moms is of course important.
How To Meet Men As A Single Mom at the gym Do’s and Don’ts
- Do not come with spandex and no underwear underneath, so that you can see the skin of your butt. You can wear gym clothes, but do not be too skimpy or inappropriate. All that smells desperation. Come looking cute, but come looking like you are working out at the gym. Not like you are fishing for a man.
- Do not get on the yoga ball and start doing sexually suggestive positions to it to get the man’s attention. Just be normal, workout, and if he is interested he will approach you no need to be extra.
- Do not go around to every cute man that you see and ask them to help you do this, help show you to do that, and to spot you. Once again just be NORMAL. If a man is really interested in you, he will approach you. No need to give him an extra hint that you are there.
I hope I was able to help you learn how to meet men as a single mom. But mostly importantly never let you wanting a man turn you into someone else. You have children and you have to wear the mommy hat and the woman who is ready for a relationship hat. Do go overboard with how you go about meeting men.