Just because you are single and you want to get married does not mean that you are ready for marriage. You can read a past blog post here on why I am not ready for marriage, but the real question that brought you to this blog post is that you want to know are you ready to get married.
Therefore, I am here to answer that question for you. Waiting to get married and being ready for marriage are two different things. The last thing you want to do is be a dysfunctional person and bring all of your crazy baggage into a marriage, which will not be help for you or the person you want to be in a relationship with. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone brings some sort of baggage (click my blog to read more on that). But you will know if you are ready for marriage by looking at the following things.
Are You Financially Stable
Being financially stable can mean a lot things. You do not have to be rich or have a million dollars in your account, but what you should have is a way to support yourself. You should not be looking to get into marriage because you have no money and you are looking for someone to take care of you. You should also not get into a situation if you do not have a penny to your name, you will just be bringing a lot of stresses into the marriage. Marriages often break up over finances, so make sure that your finances are in order. Make sure that you are financially stable and make sure that the person you are looking to marry is financially stable as well.
You are Happy
Marriage can bring joy and happiness into your life, but you should not be looking to get married just so that you are happy. If you look for a marriage to be your source of happiness, you are going to be disappointed. Marriage is a lot of work, it requires a lot self-sacrifice, and so if your expectation of marriage is that you want to be with someone so that they gave fulfill you and will be your source of happiness, think again. You need to
If you are not happy right now, even if you think you are unhappy because you are not married, your source of unhappiness probably comes from a deeper place. You need to resolve that, before thinking about getting married.
You have gotten everything out of your system.
As a single person you can go where you want, do what you want, and work how long you want, without having to answer to anyone. In marriage, you can’t do that. You are held accountable to your spouse; you cannot just take off for a three-day weekend without letting your spouse know. You cannot go out with your girlfriends without letting your spouse know. Your life is really not your own, you are sharing it with someone else. You marriage comes first and foremost and you have to be responsible for keeping it together. So if you know, that you have not gotten everything out of your system, and there are things you will want to do don’t get married. Even if you are working 100 hours a week to climb the career ladder at your job, it is best to hold out getting married because you do not have the time to nurture a marriage and allow for it to grow.
You have realistic expectations of marriage
This is a big one. Some people want to get engage, plan the wedding, and never really knows what comes after that. Being engaged is fun and planning a wedding is fun, but that does not last forever. Once you are married there is no more excitement and events surrounding your marriage. Marriage is your new normal and you need to know what that looks like. You can read my blog here on questions that you should ask while you are engaged; but most importantly if you are married then I would suggest talking to your married friends about marriage. Find out what it means to be married, ask them their struggles and if they thought marriage was what they thought it would be. You want to gather a realistic expectation of marriage so that you can answer the “are you are ready to get married” question for yourself.
Know Yourself and Know What You Need
First, you need to get to know yourself.
In a marriage your spouse should complement you and you should complement your spouse. (Click to Tweet).
It is going to be hard to know what you need if you do not even really know yourself and what type of person you are. For example, I am a Christian. I need my future husband to be a Christian because that plays an important role in my life. I can also have a very dominate personality, I am going to need a leader that is able to appreciate my dominate personality and I need someone that is not going to want a more passive women. Because that is not me. I also like to read and I appreciate intellectual conversation. These are must haves in my future husband because that is what is going to make me happy. You cannot say that you need a man that is 6 foot tall that has a 6 pack. Do you really need that? Or do you want that? What you need are things that go beyond the surface level. You need someone that is going to compliment you and compliment your personality. That varies for each person. You have to get to know yourself to understand what you need in a partner.
These are the 5 things you need to take into consideration if you want to know “are you ready to get married.” You can also click below and get my free “Am I Ready To Get Married” worksheet.