Anyone who know me knows I am a big advocate for knowing/ improving yourself first before getting into a relationship. Even after extensive soul searching and knowing what you want out of a relationship; something is still going to be wrong with you. As a matter of fact, I am almost sure of it. These are what I call “relationships demons.”
Some forms of these deposits may come off as neediness, distrust, abandonment issues, and the list goes on and on. Part of getting to know yourself is also getting to know your demons so you can learn to deal with them in the best way possible.
Take a long good look at yourself. I have had to take a long and good look at myself. Some of my relationships baggage I have been able to fix over time, some of it I just traded it in for another set of demons, and some I have not gotten rid at all nor do I want to.
Just to give you an idea, I will go first and let you know what my relationships demons are.
I do not like sharing my feelings, talking about my feelings, and some of the times I won’t like listening to my man’s feelings either.
I used to tell one of my boyfriend’s while he was speaking, that I did not care about what he was talking about. I have since gotten over that and have learn to listen and at least pretend that I care.
As for my emotions, that’s still a work in progress and honesty. I am just not a very super emotional person. I do not like for people to see me cry or talk about how much we love each other, its not my thing.
I was brought up as an only child and I have always had my own room and bathroom growing up. I do not like people in my personal space.
This means I do not like having people over my house. I do not like people going through my closet, my stuff, or my refrigerator, none of that.
I also like to be left, the H-E double Hockey Sticks alone. Being around people for too long bothers me. I like to sit and think to myself. As you can see this may prove to be problematic in a relationship.
I am going to say what I want to say
Some men appreciate this about me. Just because he says something does not mean that I am going to agree. I am not argumentative, but if a man is looking for a “yes dear” whose head is like a bobble head nodding up and down all the time, this is not me, nor will it ever be me. Through time, I have learn when to just be quiet and let my opinion go unknown.
But if it is an issue I feel strongly about, do not expect me to be silent.
I tend to think I am smarter than the average bear.
Now see, seeing your demons were not so bad. I can freely list mine and probably think of more if I really put my mind to it. There is nothing wrong with having this baggage, but you would not be doing yourself a favor by not acknowledging them.
It will also help you know what who to choose for a relationship. For example, when I talk to a potential date and I see they have a problem with opinionated women, then there is no need in going there. Instead of trying to make something happen with someone that does not like aspects about my personality, I choose to go for men who do like women who openly share their opinions.
No one is perfect. You cannot expect to get with a perfect person nor can you expect that person to be perfect. We all have issues. The point is that we have to figure out what issues do we like about ourselves and which ones do we need to get rid of. I like my sarcasm and my wittiness. On the other hand I used to have a serious anger issue. I would snap at you at the drop of a dime. That was something that I needed to get rid of.
The point that I am trying to make is this. If someone wants to be in a relationship with you then they should be able to accept your demons and vice versa. There are some demons that you should not accept such as a person that says that are going to cut your throat open every time you make them mad. That is just insane. In closing know which ones make you crazy and know which ones make you, you. There is a difference.