No one is Feeling Sorry For You As Much As You’re Feeling Sorry for Yourself

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No one is Feeling Sorry For You As Much As You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Let me tell you a secret.  No one is going to feel sorry for you so that is why you should stop feeling sorry for yourself.  The fact of the matter is that people feel sorry for themselves more than they feel sorry for other people. The main reason why people start to feel sorry for themselves is because they feel stuck or because they feel as if their friends or people are passing them by.No one is Feeling Sorry For You As Much As You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Everyone is getting a promotion. Everyone is getting married. Everyone is having kids, and you are in the same ole place that you were 10 years ago.  Not really doing anything much but complaining about how much your life sucks. And do you think the people who are getting on with their lives care about how you feel about them? No they don’t. They are out enjoying their life while you are out sulking wondering why me?

It does not have to be that way. We cannot control everything in life but there are choices that we can  make.  And the best choice you can make for yourself is to stop feeling for yourself. I am a firm believer that you cannot just sit there and watch life pass you by. It is up to you to get up, get out, and get something.  One thing that I cannot stand is when people make excuses as to why they cannot do something, when they will not even try. Or people who expect other people to live their life for them. No one is going to live your life.  No one is going to sit around and care that things are not going right for you.  And even if people tell you they are feeling sorry for you, 9 times out of 10 they aren’t. They are just telling you that.  In the back of their mind they are probably thinking that your situation is controllable, so why don’t you control it.

Some people act like they cannot go online and even fill out a simple job application and then get mad when they are unemployed and broke. Some people get mad that they cannot find a better job when they won’t even do a good job at the job they have. Or get additional training or an education so that they qualify for a better job.  Some people want to be a lawyer and then complain when the have to go to law school. Who wants to live their life like that? Always complaining about the things you have to work for because they do not come easy?

And I know what you may be saying.

Sophia, you are college educated. You do not know what it is like to go without, or be unemployed, or struggle.”

Well that is where you are wrong. When I graduated undergrad I worked at my minimum wage job that I had in college for several months before landing another job.  I applied for 10-15 jobs a day! And even in that job I landed as a Juvenile Correctional Officer, only a high school diploma was required AND although it was a salary job, it was NOT a “good paying job.”  It was a lot of hard work.  Working 12-16 hours a day, while getting cursed at and breaking up fights all day.  I hated it!

Within my career. I have had to endure pay cuts, layoffs, and being in unstable companies that went out of business.  I have had to struggle and I have gotten down and out about it but I never gave up.  Life is life, you will endure hardship and go through trails.  But it is up to you as a person to run your life.  If you are an adult your parents are not responsible for providing for you, the government is not responsible for providing for you, your boyfriend is not responsible for providing for you….you are responsible.

Life will pass you by if you let it pass you by. You cannot control everything that happens in the world but you can control yourself.  You can control what you do, how hard you work, and what your goals in life are going to be.

No one is Feeling Sorry For You As Much As You Are Feeling Sorry for YourselfFor every action there is an equal and opposite reactionIsaac Newton (read my blog here for more on this topic)

Just speaking in terms of physics, I feel that if you work hard at something then eventually you will get the same type of output. Meaning that you will eventually see a fruition of your goal.  If you put in the work you will see the labor of your hard work.  And by work I mean real work.  Do not do something mediocre for five years and then wonder why you are not seeing any fruits of your labor.  If you do a bad job then you will see the results of a bad job.  If you are lazy then you will see the results from being lazy.  But eventually if you really want something out of life and you are really putting your all into it, you will see the result of that.

The thing is that many people do not want to put in the hard work. They want things to be handed to them. They want someone to feel sorry for them. And if it is not handed to them, then they want to give up.  I have learned that most people who are successful have failed miserably.  And not just once but they have failed a whole bunch of times.  But it was their drive and determination that lead them to that one opportunity that turned out to be an opportunity of a life time. And never once did they sit around feeling sorry for themselves expecting for something to just happen because they are them. They chose to keep working hard because they understood that life does not work that way.

I hate to see anyone sit around on social media trolling their friend’s Facebook pages, asking themselves why they do not have someone else’s life (see my blog here on jealousy). And then they have the nerve to post depressing Facebook messages about how much their life sucks, how unhappy they are, or how they wish they had a life like everyone else. They tell us all how they feel sorry for themselves and then want us all to feel sorry for them as well.  I will be the bearer of bad news.  You don’t have the life like everyone else because you are not everyone else, you are you.  And if you stop being so pressed about someone else’s life and be that pressed about your life, then guess what?  Your life can be as equally awesome but in a way that is befitting to you.

If you can take away anything from this post, remember that life waits for no one. No one is sitting around feeling sorry for you as much are feeling sorry for yourself.  No one fairy God mother is going to pop out the of the sky and make all of your dreams come true.  You have to put in some work.  You are you own fairy God mother and you have the ability to do a lot, if you are willing to take all of those negative emotions and apply toward something that will actually get you to where you want to go.

No one is Feeling Sorry For You As Much As You Are Feeling Sorry for Yourself


About Sophia Reed (317 Articles)
I am Dr. Reed. I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, PhD in Human Behavior, and I am a National Certified Counselor. I am all about motivating women to be their best and beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at

16 Comments on No one is Feeling Sorry For You As Much As You’re Feeling Sorry for Yourself

  1. Awesome post!!!! This is so, so, so on point! Only you can change your life!

  2. I love this article. I too believe we have responsibility for our joy and happiness. If you don’t like something about your life, change it!!!

  3. Thanks for sharing this post. Only you can make yourself the happiest!

  4. This kind of makes me crack up. Don’t get me wrong your points are super valid. I am also a believer of feeling your feelings and then moving on. Sometimes you need to have a glass of wine, watch a Walk to Remember cry it out then back to it the next day. Some people have a hard time finding the middle ground between feeling their feelings and wallowing in self pity for too long. Life is going to have some dark spots, heaven knows I’ve had some, but we have to decide if it will crush us or give us more strength.

  5. I agree, also saw the most changes for better once I moved to really start doing something. 🙂 Good post!

  6. This post is so motivating! Love it 🙂

  7. So right! The only one that can make things happen for you is yourself. Very inspiring.

  8. This is great, girl. The layout of this post really flowed well. Nicely done. 🙂 I love your new profile picture at the bottom of your post.

  9. Beautifully said! A therapist once told me to allow myself a moment to go through my emotions and then get up and do something productive. Life is too short to let is pass you by!

  10. This is so right on time for me. I’ve recently been basically feeling everything you mentioned in the first two paragraphs. I def. have goals and things I know would make me feel better but I feel like my crappy 9 to 5 takes up so much of my day that I can’t do all the things I need to after the fact. Almost every day I have to convince myself not to quit to follow my dreams since bill collectors won’t see that reasoning as a viable excuse for late payment. Sigh.

    • Just take one step at a time. After work, just do one thing each day that moves your closer to your goal. That way you feel like you are getting somewhere and you are taking baby steps toward your goal, and you won’t feel like you are not doing anything.

  11. My husband’s best friend’s mom needs to read this. Oh dear Lord! The woe is me posts aren’t doing much for her.

  12. I wish I could’ve read this when I was in my teens and young 20s!! Such great advice!

  13. I agree that many, many people don’t want to put in the effort they should. The entitlement drives me batty! We feel better about ourselves when we accomplish things anyhow.

  14. I think we all have those moments of weakness, but ultimately, its you who will pull yourself up and out. Thanks for sharing!

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