No one can make you feel any type of way but you. You have more control over your emotions than you think, and not accepting that fact can cause you to always feel out of control of your life.
If anyone knows my story, they know I am a single mother, and my son’s father has been incarcerated since he was a few weeks old. Even before then, he was not involved in my son’s life. I do not say this so that you can have a pity party, I say it to use myself as an example (see my blog here for my single mom story).
There comes a point in which you can sink or swim. There comes a point that you can chose to sit in your depression or you can chose to do something about it. For me, I chose to do something about it, and because I did not play the victim in my circumstances it made me stronger. Now, I can proudly say that there is very little things that can cause me to be down and out forever. This is because I been though life, I have been through hard times, just like most people.
In my situation. I chose to go to God and through his goodness and mercy He brought me out of a lot of things I had no business being in, and even better He used my mistakes, sadness, and downfalls as a platform to be able to help others. The key is, I had to be willing to see the light at the end of the tunnel and chose not to see the temporary situation I was in as permanent. A friend recently told me that a few years ago they tried to commit suicide because they felt no one cared about them. This is the advice that I gave them. You cannot look toward other people to make you happy, because if you do you will always be let down.
You cannot look toward a husband, wife, girlfriend, friends, children, or any “person” in this world to fulfill your complete happiness. This is because eventually weather intentionally or not, they are going to fall short. And when they do, if you are putting your complete and total happiness in them it is going to cause you to fall, and it is going to cause you to fall hard.
As an individual, you have to be able to regulate your own emotions and not be affected by the shortcomings of others. Life will let you down, I am sorry to say that. Friends and family will die before their time, you will lose your job, struggle in your finances, struggle to pay bills, struggle in relationships, be in bad relationships, be the black sheep of the family, and the list can go one and on. I cannot think of one person in the world that has not gone through something, and although it is okay to be sad and mourn. Do not get so consumed by your emotions that you simply fall apart and give up on life.
When I played the victim of my circumstances once, getting all depressed in a situation I was in. God reminded me of something. This may sound cliche, but the
message hit me hard.
I was watching the show Life Today and children who did not have clean water. I watched village person after village person go to a dirty lake, fill up their containers, and drink. The water was not even clear but brown and dirty. They knew the water was contaminated. Many families lost children and other families members from the contaminated water. But it was the only choice they had. They either remained dehydrated or drink water they knew could kill them. What a choice? In that moment I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. Because any given day, I could walk to a faucet and get clean water and not worry about dying from it. I think sometimes when God hears us complain, He is saying to us “If only you can see every life in every part of the world, you will realize you do not have it that bad.”
This was a turning point for me, I decided to make a change in my mood and I encourage you to do the same. Everyday you wake up, your situation has the opportunity’ to change and things have a chance to turn around. Try to focus on that as oppose to focusing on what you do not have, or what you are not, or what other people have done to you. As long as there is a tomorrow things can change.