I don’t know if it is a generation thing or the way in which the world is today, but there is defiantly a spirit of entitlement going around. People who walk around thinking that the world owes them something. The people who think that it is other people’s job to provide for them, to pay their bills, to manage their life, give them a job, or to take care of them.
If there is anything that I have learned, it is that the world owes you nothing. And the reason why I work hard is because I understand that no one is going to give me anything. I understand that no one is just going to hand me my ideal life just because my name is Sophia and I want it really really bad. I understand that with every hardship I have, it is up to me to navigate my way through life and to work my way out of it. I understand that I can never complain about the hand that I have been dealt or what people are not doing for me, because it is not their job to do anything for me.
I have cut off friends for thinking that it was my responsibility as their friends to give them money for their rent, their bills, or to give them my overtime at work. I do believe that we should help people, but my help comes to those who are open and willing to help themselves. I have never asked a friend to pay my bills. I never saw their friendship as a condition of providing for me. I do not go around asking people to borrow money or to give me a handout. And if I need a favor and they are unwilling to do it, I can never get mad at them for that. It is not their responsibility to do anything for me! And if they do then I should be thankful.
In the counseling field we have something called resilience.
It is defined as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
Resilience is the basic component that separates weather you are able to bounce back or whether you are able to let your misfortune to overcome you. To form resilience you must face some type of hardship. But the true formation of resilience comes when you are able to bounce back from that hardship and learn from it. You can never form resilience if you are always expecting other people to get you out if your hardship.
I know what you may be saying
“But Sophia, aren’t you a Christian? Is not our duty to help those in need?”
To that question I answer yes and no. Let’s take Ruth for example.
Everyone knows the book of Ruth. If you don’t then read it. But I am going to give you one of the main lessons that I took from Ruth.
Just a brief overview. Ruth was living with her mother and law. Both their husband’s had died and now they were poor. So Ruth decided that she needed to take it upon herself to work.
“So Ruth worked alongside the women in Boaz’s fields and gathered grain with them until the end of the barley harvest. Then she continued working with them through the wheat harvest in early summer. And all the while she lived with her mother-in-law.” Ruth 2:23
The key lessons that we take from Ruth, was that she went out in the field and work her butt off in order to get food. Boaz saw Ruth working hard and that is when he decided to help her. She never once received a hand out for free. And she never expected to. That is a difference between a handout and a hand up. A hand up is someone feeling compelled to help you because you are helping yourself. A handout is when someone is giving you something for free.
Most successful people are made of people who receive a handup and not a handout. Many of the famous people that you have seen today have been homeless or in a bad situations before. The difference between them staying in that bad situation and them coming up out of it, was that they decided to Get Out Get Up And Get Something (see my blog here). They did not sit and expect money to come falling out of the sky to change their situation. They changed their own situations, and because they put forth the effort God meant them half way.
Steve Harvey Use to Be Homeless- Read his book here: Act like a Success Think like a Success
Terrence Jenkins struggled on his way to success- Read his book here– The Wealth of My Mother’s Wisdom
Tyler Perry was homeless.
Kelly Clarkson the first American Idol was homeless
The list can go on and on. But none of these people sat in their defeat. They all kept going and kept working hard. That is what you do! No one owes you a future, a life, or success. You owe it to yourself to get those things.
You feel me? Glad You Do.