So many times we think that when God ordained us to do something, we think that it is going to be a cake walk to get there. If someone has mastered the art of tricking everyone into thinking they have it all together it is me. Well, I do have it all together, but there has certainly been a few bumps and bruises along the way.
If I an run down the last 8 years of my life, it would look something like this.
- Had a baby out of wedlock (check)
- Abandoned by my son’s father when I was pregnant (check)
- Son’s father goes to prison for 6 years (check)
- Found out son’s father is still married (check)
- Received a pay cut and made significantly less money (check)
- Went through significant financial hardship (check)
- Had to relocate and move back in with my mother for better job prospects (check)
- Lost a close family member (check)
And these are really the ones that I can only think of off the back. I have had so many people tell me that I seem so happy and they never would have guess that at any giving moment something in my life is crumbling down around me.
I will admit that there are times in which I just want to throw in the towel, stop trying, and let the cards fall where they may good or bad. There were times in which I felt that my praying was in vein. That I was praying for no reason because my life kept getting worse and worse and I was not seeing the immediate results of my prayer. There were times that I just wanted to just give up and thought I was crazy for wanting more out of life. Because wanting more out of life was just too hard. It required too much. And I was not sure if I was willing to give up any more than what I had already lost.
But you see I have come to learn a valuable lesson. When you want to be used by God nothing comes for free. Any person that you can ever think of that has been used by God has been through something. Most of Jesus’ disciples all died some horrific death and even before they died they were all beaten up or persecuted for their belief in Christ.
Why does God do that?
Or better yet, why does God allow it to be done to us?
Each person is different and each reason is different. For myself, I know that it was a humbling experience. I use to idolize having money, my job, and how much I made. And even though I believed in God, I always some how felt that whatever situation I was in that I could fix it. I had come to learn to lean on me and not lean on God. And as a Christian that is very bad. If I wanted to be used by God, that meant that I had to trust God. I needed to trust God in all things, no matter if it is good or bad, and understand that God wanted the best for me.
When you are struggling, going broke, and everything in your life is failing apart. The last thing you understand is that God is somehow making your hardship work for your greater good.
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know how to live humbly, and I know how to abound. I am accustomed to any and every situation—to being filled and being hungry, to having plenty and having need.” Philippians 4:11-12
So even though we do not understand the journey, there is a point in the journey. And even though, we may not understand what is happening to us, we must trust and understand.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28
If you believe that you are called according to God’s purpose then you must believe that no matter what you are go through it will work for your good, even if it appears that things are bad.
In my journey, I have learn to be more empathetic, grateful, and most importantly I have learned how to trust God. If you want God to use you, then use you He will. If you want much, then much is going to be required out of you. If God cannot trust you with little then how can He trust you with much.
I have come to learn that this just does not just pertain to money. It can mean that God is going to take the very things away from you that you feel define you. That could be your car, money, home, anything. And when you get to that place, where everything is gone, you realize that those things did not define you. God is the one that defines you.
When you get to a place where you realize that you have no body and no one to lean on. You have no choice but to lean on God and trust that in the midst of chaos, everything is going to be alright. Despite what you see.
Do you believe that?
And if you do, than believing God is 99% of the battle. And the key is to not to go through something, kicking and screaming letting everyone know how horrible your life is; but rather putting a smile on your face in the midst of the pain. And praising God all the way. That is a sure way to let others know that God has your back.