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If you do not want to admit the times you have been mad at God, then I will. There have been times where I did not understand why God let someone I was close to me die or why God has not answered my prayers despite my constant prayers, fasting, and faith.
I am not ashamed to admit I have had trouble forgiving and that I was mad at God for not fixing things I felt He could fix. As a Christian, I understand we are called to go through this thing called life and that our life is not going to be perfect. We are called to go through hardships to make us stronger. This is the natural order of things, since the fall of man, and perfection on Earth was ended.
But, have you ever felt like God was putting more on you then you could bear?
Have you ever been put in or had situations in which you have been praying for a solution for days, months, or even years and no solution comes, instead the problem gets worse?
Have you ever prayed for a miracle, healing, or money and had the faith of a mustard seed, just like the Bible said, but your prayers were not answered?
If this has happened to you and you still have unshakable faith in God, then congratulations. But if you are human and like most humans as the hardship keep getting harder you to start to resent God or at least wonder why if it is in His power to stop your suffering then why doesn’t He?
I cannot say I have all of the answers as to the way in which God operates, except for that God knows all and He knows the reason why He does what He does.
I can also admit that even though I knew this answer, it was hard for me to accept. The fact that I went through continual hardship, I saw it as being within God’s power to stop it, and when He didn’t; it mad me angry. It made me mad at God.
I found myself in a position in which I had to forgive God. I know this may sound crazy to some of you, but I can almost guarantee that many of you hold resentment toward God and are not even aware it.
I have a tendency to give God human characteristics, thinking He has abandoned me, is upset with me, or wants to see me suffer in His name for one reason or the next.
I came to view God as being selfish using us humans to satisfy His own vanity. I came to think that He would allow us to suffer just so we can pray harder to Him. I came to feel that when my prayers were unanswered my whole life was at God’s mercy and He was going to do what He wanted no matter if I I prayed or not. And that is when I stopped praying because I thought “What’s the point?”
This is dangerous thinking. But how many of you have thought the same way but have not expressed it? How many of you have blamed God for a child or parent dying? For a rape, molestation, or a violent crime against you? How many of you still harbor bad feeling toward God for a terminal illness or job loss that just keeps causing you pain?
I do not know the answer. But I do know is
With the forgiving you also must trust God is what He says He is and that He will do what He says He can do. That includes never leaving you or forsaking you.
Even as Jesus was crucified, one of the last words he cried out was, “My God, why has thou forsaken me?” You see, we all feel lost, forsaken, or abandoned by God sometimes. Even Jesus did. It is important however, not to allow our hardships to loose sight of God and skew how we see Him.
Examine what you have been going through and examine your heart. Is there anything you need to forgive God for? Or anything that you are mad at God for? Perhaps once you do, you will be able to overcome your hardship and have peace. But most importantly your relationship with God will grow because you have finally come to Him with how you really feel. (Click to read my blog on confessions of a selfish Christian)
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