To My Future Husband, I Need These Things From You

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To My Future Husband, I Need These Things From You

There are so many things that I would love to say to my future husband.  But before I get into what they are, as a reminder this is day 2 of the 30 day single Christian woman’s challenges inspired by this post on the Barn Princess Blog.  Today’s challenge is as follows:

Day 2: The Most Important Things

Write down the 3 most important things to you in a future husband. What is most important to you? Is it his looks? Is it his faith? Do you want him to family oriented? Do you want to him to make a lot of money? What are the 3 most important things that you are looking for in a husband? Limit it to just 3. You might have a longer list, but think about what is most important.To My Future Husband, I Need These Things From You

I will be honest and say that thing things I would say to my future husband has changed over time.  If you would have asked me this question in my early 20’s, the list would have been very superficial and pointless.  Nothing of value and nothing that makes up a real relationship.  Here are some examples.

  • Must be over 6 feet tall
  • Must be very attractive.
  • There must be sexual chemistry.

But as I got older and dated men like this I realized there needs to be more to my future husband than something that is so shallow. None of these things help me with the bills or provide a good role model to my son.  So as I have matured I have learned how to pray for my future husband (see blog here) and what to ask for in my future husband.

So if I had to say anything to my future husband, these following things are things he must have.

Must be Financially Stable.

Call it gold digging, call it materialistic, call it whatever you want.  I call it being a grown man that is preparing for a family. As a single mother there have been many times I have been stretched to my financial limit.  So as the only saying goes.  I can do bad all by myself.  I do not need another person’s financial hardship to add on to what I already have.  I have already been taking care of me and my son, I do not need a third child.

Financial stability does not just mean that he must come with a lot of money.  A drug dealer or mafia boss can come with a lot of money.  It is beyond that.  It means that he has a career, is going in a positive direction in his career, has long terms goals, a retirement plan, and life insurance; just to name a few.  I want a man that is responsible with his money, this way I know that he will plan for our family.  The last thing I want is a man running out getting the latest pair of shoes or luxury car, leaving his family broke and without food for the month.  No thank you.  Which is why financial stability tops my list.

He must be a Christian

I am a Christian I have a personal relationship with God and I want a husband that is going to understand that.  I feel that when your husband is acting crazy, you may not be able to change him….but God can.  When you go to God to pray about your husband, the only way the prayer is going to work is that if your husband actually believes in God.  Plus I feel like a true Christian man should know how to treat a wife (Click here to read my blog on that).  There are Biblical principles that tell a man not to cheat on his wife, not to lust after another woman, and to put his wife before all else.  That is what I want, and further more I want a man that is going to understand that me talking to God does not mean that I am crazy.  In fact I want him to be able to talk to God with me.

Must love my child as his own.

I am a single mother.  I feel strongly about single mothers not kicking their kids to the curb for a man (Click my blog here to read more on that topic). My son’s father is not in his life.  So any man that wants to love me, needs to love my child.  There is no way that my child is going to be treated like a step child in his own home. There is no compromising on this.  If a man does not love my child, then he does not love me, because my child is a part of me.

Now I know that there are only supposed to be three but I have to add one more:

I must be attracted to him and have sexual chemistry.

I know what you going to say.  YTo My Future Husband, I Need These Things From Youou thought I moved passed the vanity.  Well I have in so many ways.  But I would be I want to be attracted to my future husband.  I want to like what he looks like and I want to be happy to fulfill my wifely duties in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.  The main difference between then and now is that I know that sex and attraction is not the only thing to look for in a man.  I understand that he can be attractive but still not be a right fit for me.  So instead of looking for attraction first.  I look go other characteristics of a husband, and then the attraction and sex is just an added bonus.

As a single woman who wants to get married, I want you to do this challenge.  You see my notes to my future husband and so I want each single woman to really come up with with you need in your future husband.  Learn your deal breakers (click to read my blog on deal breakers) and also learn what you need in a husband.  If you are lost, you should ask God to gear you thoughts toward the type of man he wants you to have.

Check out the Other Single Woman’s Challenge for the Month

To My Future Husband, I Need These Things From You

About Sophia Reed (318 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at sophiareed@sophie-sticatedmom.com

2 Comments on To My Future Husband, I Need These Things From You

  1. lastchance3 // May 3, 2016 at 9:29 pm // Reply

    I love this idea! What is this challenge all about?

    • I got the idea from another blog. I linked it in the post. For myself as a single woman, I feel you should always try to enrich yourself and reflect on what you want out of life. I think so many single women sit and think about how much they are single, which can be depressing. It is just a daily way of getting out of that rut, and spending your single time in a positive direction.

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