If you ever wondered what does God say about marriage then all you have to do is turn to the Bible and see what the Bible says about marriage, because the Bible is God’s word and if you are reading the Bible then you are reading what is from God. A godly relationship, should be just that. A relationship in which God is in the middle. But some people are not exactly sure on how to do that. First I want to say that even if you are in a godly relationship, no relationship is without conflict. And if you are somehow expecting your marriage to be perfect because you are a Christian, then that is not going to happen because all relationships are work.
The best verse to look at when you want to know what the Bible has to say about marriage is Ephesians 5:22-33.
In Ephesians 5: 22-33 it says this:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Often times people get caught up in the wife being submissive (read my blog here on submission from the wife), they leave out what the husbands are required to do. Which as you read above is a lot more than the wives. In a godly relationship each person has a role to play and when each person plays that role well they both contribute to the improvement of the relationship.
Two main principles of a biblical marriage are: husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church and husband’s love your wife like you love your own flesh. (Click to Tweet)
When you really think about this concept this must really be a powerful love. It is easy for people to say that they love their wife like this, but I have come to find, that many men may not truly understand this love, and are not living up to their part of the bargain. Loving someone like you love your own flesh means that you love them just as much as yourself and you need them just as much as you need the flash that you are in.
I am going to go to the beginning of the Bible, with the story of Adam and Eve, to give you a true example of loving one like your own flesh. People don’t typically think of Adam and Eve as this depicting this, but I will show you that in the beginning, this type of love was present and this is how God always intended a godly relationship to be.
In Genesis 2: 18 it says:
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
So from the beginning God intended for man to have a mate that is fit for him. After bringing in all the animals and seeing that no one was befitting for Adam, he made women.
Now let’s take another part of Genesis (Chapter 2:20-24).
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
There are several things to point out in this passage. The first being is that Eve was created from Adam’s flesh, and note what Adam said about her (Now this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh). What a strong statement to make about someone, not only that, but it is reminiscent of Ephesians in the fact that Adam says Eve is his flesh and loved her as such. Also like Ephesians, it speaks about leaving your mother and father and becoming one, similar to the passage in Genesis. Isn’t it amazing that the first book in the Bible (old testament) is much like one of the last books in the Bible (new testament) regarding the formation of a godly relationship.
Now let’s get into the deep stuff……Are you ready?
In Genesis 2:16-17 after Adam was created, before Eve came into existence, God told Adam this,
“You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
With this being said, Adam did not eat from the tree, while he was the only person on Earth. Also note that God had told him if he ate from the tree what would happen. So flash forward and Eve is created. The serpent isolated her on her own and got her to eat from the forbidden tree. After eating the fruit, she then brings it to Adam and asks him to partake of the fruit as well. Now let’s ponder this for a minute, as mentioned above Adam knew very well what eating from the tree would do…however he also saw that Eve had already eaten from the tree, and therefore he knew that she would die. How did he know this? Because that is what God told him would happen.
So why do you think Adam ate from the tree, knowing that he would die and be departed from God. A misconception is that Adam was manipulated or tricked by Eve……But I think not. I think that even though Adam loved God, and knew what would happen to him if he ate the fruit, he still chose to do so because he loved Eve so much….and if Eve was going to die and face banishment from God, then he was willing to do so as well. You see, to Adam, Eve was his flesh, she came from his own body, and perhaps to imagine life without her was not possible. So he chose to give up the perfect life that he had in Eden with God, to go into the wilderness with his women, Eve. Now that’s love.
My point is this, Christian men and women who are married or want to get married. You should strive for the type of godly relationship that is mentioned in the Bible. You do not have to wonder what does God say about marriage, because He tells you. “Husband loves your wives like you love your flesh.” That’s it. Are you willing to take the hard road with her, as oppose to leaving her when you see that she has made the wrong decision? Are you willing to share in her consequences and responsibilities? Are you willing to give your life up for her, just as Christ gave his life for the Church? Are you willing to take care of here and feed her like you would your self. Knowing that if you neglect her, just like if you neglect your flesh; you flesh will die. And when a husband neglects his wife, the relationship with die. And this is what the Bible says about marriage. And once you understand that a godly relationship is something that requires a lot of sacrifice, then you can work on the improvement of your relationship; allowing the word of God to lead the way.