Relationship Deal Breakers. What They Are And How To Use Them.
A big frustration for women in relationship is when they spend too much time on a man all to realize that he is not the man for them. To avoid feeling like this, that is where your relationship deal breakers come in.
Relationship deal breakers are issues that present themselves in a relationship that automatically means that you will end a relationship. For example, if you know that you cannot date someone with no job, you begin to date someone, and you find out that they do not have a job, then you should end the relationship immediately since that is one of your deal breakers.
With that being, said relationship deal breakers vary from person to person. What may bother you in a relationship may not bother the next person. So only, you can determine what your relationship deal breakers are.
How to come up with relationship deal breakers
An important aspect of relationship deal breakers is that you must know yourself and what you want out of a relationship. When you make your list of deal breakers then they must be things that you know for a fact you cannot compromise on.
On the opposite end of the spectrum some people’s relationships deal breakers can be a little bit ridiculous. If your relationship deal breaker is that you will never date someone that is under 6 foot 5. Then that is silly.
Because there may be some really great men under 6 foot 5 that you are ruling out because they are not tall enough. Having a height preference for someone is just that, a preference. If you met a perfect man that was 6 foot 2 and you break a relationship off for such a superficial reason, then that means that your relationship deal breakers are a little shallow.
So when formulating your deal breakers they must be meaningful and something you cannot do without in a relationship.
- They must be Christian and have a relationship with God. – Since I am a Christian and my faith in God is such a huge part of who I am, I want a man I can share my faith with.
- Must be stable- Since I am 30 plus and have a child, the men I go with need to have career stability and financial stability. Since I would date men over 30, requesting them to have stability in their life is not odd at this age. If you are 22 or just graduating from college, the man may be less stable in his career because he may just be starting out in life, which is understandable.
- Must love children. I have a son so if the man does not love children or want children then that would not work since I am already a mother.
In short, your relationship deal breakers must be realistic and appropriate for the age of man that you are looking for. None of the above deal breakers is shallow, but rather they match with the life that I have now and the life I want in the future when I get married.
What To do When Men Break Your Relationships Deal Breakers
This one is a hard one for women, because many woman operate on the what if mentality (click here to read about the what if girl). The what if mentality makes women hang on to bad men, because they feel they can change him.
The first advice that I can give you is that never think you can change a man’s mind. The second piece of advice that I can give you, is to never operate on the what if mentality. That is the point of relationship deal breakers, if a man has one of your deal breakers, you must cut it off immediately. I do not care how fine they are how much you think they can change. Cut them off.
It protects you for being in a relationship with someone you know can never meet your needs or what you are looking for.
It is better to terminate the relationship than to go on for months or sometimes years for someone that is not meeting your needs.
It will only lead to frustration on your part and disappointment because the person cannot be what you want them to be. Remember relationship deal breakers include things that you MUST have in a relationship.
It is to help you determine if the person you are considering will make a good fit for the future. That is why it is so important to come up with a good list of relationship deals breakers and find out about the person that you are dating as early as possible (Click here to see questions you should be asking on the first date). There is no reason why you should be dating someone for a year and do not know if they meet the criteria or not.
Just to recap:
- Make your relationship deal breaker list
- Stick to it
- And cut anyone off that does not meet your needs.