As a single woman it is important to pray for your future spouse, but your prayers should not come from a place of desperation and loneliness.
There is nothing wrong with praying for your future husband, as long as it does not sound something like this:
“ God please bring me my man, I do not know if I can last another day without him, I am so lonely!”
This type of prayer God does not appreciate nor will it make God answer your prayers any sooner. As a matter of fact, this prayer is showing God how much you worship marriage as an idol. The fact that you would not be able to last another day without a husband is utterly ridiculous you should not feel that way about a man that you have not even meant yet.
I will not be to hard on you single women out there, because I am single myself. There was one point in my life where I was desperate. God has a sense of humor though. I would pray that God would just bring someone, ANYONE, with a certain type of characteristics that I THOUGHT I wanted. And God brought these type of men, and guess what? I didn’t care for them at all.
Sometimes God has to answer your prayers in this way to show you what you think you want, you really do not want at all. At this point my my life I gave up my quest to find a husband because it was only leading me to unhappiness, obsessions, and an unrealistic expectation of marriage.
I do still pray for my husband though, but not in the way you expect. My prayers are not “God bring him now” or “God I am so lonely.” My prayers mostly focus on his soul.
- I pray for him like I would pray for anyone else.
- I pray that he prospers as his soul prospers.
- I pray that he knows God and grows in his spiritual walk.
- I pray for his career and that he would make a good provider.
- I pray that he is keeping himself out of trouble and that he is waiting for me just like I am waiting for him.
Do you see how these prayers are not only different but also better than the desperate prayers for a husband. God will honor these prayers because they are not selfish prayers and they seek to uplift the other person. What you as a single woman need to realize, is that once you pray for the other person to be better, that is when you are more ready for marriage.
Marriage is not just for you, it is for you two. It is also to push you both toward God. So if you cannot be unselfish and pray for others when you are single, then how are you going to convince God that you can do it when you are married?
If you are praying for a husband. I encourage you to examine the way you are praying. If they are all about you and your needs, reevaluate not only how you pray but also why you want to get married.
Marriage is not a catalyst to making you happy. You should already be happy and the marriage is something else to add onto you. Until you truly grasps this concept God is never going to bring you the husband you desire. If you are an unhappy single person then you will be an unhappy married person. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married, but wanting and obsessing are two totally different things. Do I want to get married? Yes I do. Do I stay up all night on my face and obsess about why God has not brought me a husband yet and blame him for my singleness? No I do not.
I will be honest and say there was time when I did do that. I can recall so many times when I was dating a loser, asking God why things were not working out with this loser. And then I had the nerve to blame God for MY choice in dating all of these people that I knew were not his best AND then get mad and God because it did not work out. I would tell God that since I prayed for a husband and I was currently dating this loser, that this loser SHOULD BE therefore be the one because I was tired of waiting. Not understanding I was making a decision to be with that loser and I was blaming God for my mistake because I wanted God to answer my prayers the way I wanted him to answer them. I used to be the woman with all my other single
girlfriends talking about how much we wanted to get married wallowing in self pity. But then I got up! I realize that I have way too much talent to sit and dwell all day on the fact that I am not married right now. I was literally stressing my own self out.
I could still pray for my husband. But not sit down all day and beg for my husband. It is a difference. One is coming from a selfish place and the other is not. To sit on the floor all day and tell God that I am never going to talk to him again if I do not meet my future husband in the next 24 hours is borderline insane. If you really want to bother God about your husband then pray for him about not about him. There is a difference.