Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend in regards to a blog post that I have written about “Can a Married Man Fall in Love with His Mistress?” Since I am Christian I can only come at the topic from a Christian stand point. My friend, who is also Christian, stated that she felt that a married man can fall in love with his mistress and that if he were to leave his wife to marry the mistress, and they decided to get married; God will forgive them.
At the conclusion of our conversation we both decided to agree to disagree. I still feel strongly that God is not going to give you someone else’s husband. God is not going to bless you being with someone else’s husband. And although God forgives, let’s not use His forgiveness as a crutch to openly sin in His face and call it okay.
During the course of our conversation, my friend ask me “What if the situation happened to you. If you fell in love with a married man, don’t you feel like God would forgive you?”
My answer was that I wouldn’t even dare to ask God for forgiveness. I know that God forgive us for our sins. But
- I would not have the balls to openly try to steal someone’s husband then turn around and ask God for forgiveness. I know that it is wrong and I would not want to disrespect God by using His grace to call a wrong a right.
- Despite popular belief, forgiveness does not give us a pass to do whatever we want to do in life and then plead the blood of Jesus when it is convenient for us. There needs to be some self-control in all of this. If I got myself in that situation and asked for forgiveness. I know for a fact God would say “I forgive you, but you need to leave that man alone if you really want to do right by me.”
Asking God for forgiveness means that we regret the wrong that we are doing and we seek for forgiveness with the intention of not committing the sin again. How crazy would it be, if a serial rapist raped someone, asked for forgiveness, and the next day rape someone again, ask for forgiveness, and then two days later rape someone again. He is just asking for forgiveness because he feels like that is what he should be doing. But he is not really sorry, because he keeps doing it. When you ask God to forgive you, God convicts you and you want to make the situation right with God. Not continuing on in your sin.
Let’s call a spade a spade and call an adulteress affair what is really is. It is about satisfying the flesh. If you are in this situation, do not try to pass off your fleshy desire as anything else. If you are with married man you are doing it because your flesh wants it. God does not want you to do that. So if you want to feed your flesh and take a married man away from his wife, then own it. God knows your intentions and He knows your heart. He knows if you are really seeking to please Him or if you are seeking to please yourself. God made you and there is no hiding what you really want, need, or desire to come out of a situation from God. And if you know all of that, and you still decide to steal a married man out of his marriage, then you may ask for forgiveness, but also be open to the consequences that may come.
For every sin that we commit there are consequences. God’s grace is sufficient and sometimes He gets us out of things and other times He allows us to pay for our sin because He needs us to understand the magnitude of our sin. If we never reaped what we sowed, then we will go around all the time living by the flesh pleading the blood of Jesus because it “sounds” right, when really we are living by our own terms, not God’s terms.
Marriage is a covenant of God’s. And if you read the Bible you should know how God feels about covenants. A married couple has taken a vow before God, so how dare you come in between what God already has His hands on! And then try to excuse your messiness by saying that you being with another man’s husbands is God’s will. And then say “Well I will just pray for forgiveness.”
How about you not do it. How about your bridle your flesh and tell your flesh that you will not satisfy it by stepping into sin with another woman’s husband. How about you trust and believe that God will bring you, your own husband instead of trying to convince yourself that God has brought you someone else’s husband. God is not going to do that. God says do not commit adultery. God is not a liar and He is NOT going to go back on His word because you have fallen in “love” with a married man.
If you chose to do so, acknowledge that this is a choice that you have made and do not try to throw it back onto God. I know I am coming across very harsh, but this angers me that woman want to put themselves in that situations and try to make an unholy situation holy. It is not. God is never going to give you someone else’s husband. Point. Blank. Period.