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It is easy to start blaming others for your problems when you feel that they are the cause of your problems. You start blaming
others for why no one will give you a job, give you a raise, or give you a chance. Even if all of this may be true, blaming others for your problems is not going to get you anywhere. It will just make you wallow in self pity and think that other people owe you something, when in fact they don’t. I didn’t say that it was right that people do not give you a chance, I just said that no one owes you anything. So if they do not want to give you a chance then really that is their business.
As I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show on my way to work, there was a gentleman who called in for some “inspiration.” This gentleman, said that he had a disability, lost his job, was on social security, and the only thing he wanted to do was to be happy and live his purpose.
The caller’s complaint was that he was black and that he did not feel that the doctors who treated him were treating him the same way as white people. And that all of this was somehow the reason why he was not succeeding in life. Now me being a black person, I admit that racism exist. I have experienced racism myself BUT I have learned long ago that no matter how much you do not like me or how much you may resent me; I will not allow you to get in the way of how I live my life (read my blog here).
At the end of the day even though most of us want racism to disappear, it still exist. So if you cannot change the world around you, then you cannot wait to live your life based on a situation that is not going to change anytime soon.
Listening to this gentleman I felt sad for him. Sad that he could not get over the way he was being treated. Sad that he kept hanging on to what was not being done for him instead of looking to things that are being done for him. Sad that he was allowing the way that he was being treated keep him from moving forward in life.
Through my 30 something years of living I have quickly learned that people are not going to like you. You are going to face opposition. People are going to mistreat you. People are going to put you down. You are not going to be treated fairly because you are a woman, because of how you look, because of how your hair is styled, because people do not like your name, because of where you come from, because of your job, because of your skin, because of your age, because you are too fat, because you are too skinny, or because of anything. I can name anything about you, and I can guarantee that someone out there is going to hate you for it.
And through my 30 something years of living I learned that you cannot changed people BUT you can change the way that you respond to people. No matter how much you hate me it is not going to change who I am. It is not going to change how many degrees I have. It is not going to change how I act or how hard I work. Whenever someone tells me that I cannot do something that I want to do, it just makes me want to work that much harder.
So I am here to tell you that you cannot allow other people’s opinion of you to hold you back and to stop blaming people for your problems. If you do, then you are allowing them to have dominion over you. You are giving them power over you that they do not deserve. And the more that you worry about them and what they are doing to you, the less time you have to worry about yourself and the things that you should be doing to propel yourself forward (See my blog here for more on this topic).
There is a life in my head that I want. There is a life in my head that I will work hard to get. I do not care if someone else does not thinks I deserve it. I do not care if someone else tries to stand in my way, because I am more than willing to knock you down.
It is sad to say that the world in which we live, people make too many excuses why they cannot do something. Why they are failing or why they cannot get ahead. They want to blame everyone else for their problems. But you cannot let that somebody stop you from what you are supposed to do.
So every time you open your mouth to put the blame on someone else, change your thinking and instead choose to open your mouth and say something that you are thankful for. Instead choose to do something positive instead of focusing on the negative. Nothing in this world worth having is given to you easy (see my blog here). That is a common misconception. Just because you were meant to do something does not mean that you path will be easy and clear. It takes a lot of resiliency, hard work, and moving of mountains to get there.
Therefore, I say to you. Do not be like the man on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Do not point out what everyone is doing wrong to you and stop blaming others for your problems saying they are the reason why you cannot get ahead. Instead, just get ahead. Make those people regret treating you like you were nothing.