Want to be successful? Stop blaming others for your problems.
Sad to say that it is easy for people to blame other people for their issues instead of taking a look in the mirror to determine if you are the cause of your problems. Instead, you start blaming others for why no one will give you a job, give you a raise, or give you a chance. (Also check out my blog on stop feeling sorry for yourself).
Blaming others for your problems is not going to get you anywhere and I hate to break it to you, but most people are not sitting around thinking about how they can screw up your life. So why you are blaming them they are not really worried about you (Check out my blog on how no one is going to feel sorry for you).
When you are blaming others for your problems you are allowing yourself to wallow in self pity and think that other people owe you something, when in fact they don’t (check out my blog on the world owes you nothing). The biggest enabling behavior among people in the world today is that they want to shift the blame on why their life is falling apart, on other people, instead of determining what they can do about. You are not always the victim so stop victimizing yourself.
Case and point. A Real Life Case of Blaming Others For Your Problems
As I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show on my way to work, there was a gentleman who called in for some “inspiration.” This gentleman, said that he had a disability, lost his job, was on social security, and the only thing he wanted to do was to be happy and live his purpose.
The caller’s complaint was that he was black and that he did not feel that the was being treated in the same way as white people. And this was the reason why he was not succeeding in life. Now me being a black person, I admit that racism exist.
I have experienced racism myself BUT I have learned long ago that no matter how much you do not like me or how much you may resent me; I will not allow you to get in the way of how I live my life (read my blog here).
Listening to this gentleman I felt sad for him and not sad in an emphatic way but I was sad that he had fallen prey to the “blaming others for your problems” mentality. Sad that he kept hanging on to what was not being done for him instead of looking to things that are being done for him. Sad that he was allowing the way that he was being treated keep him from moving forward in life. And sad that he was giving other people so much power over his life and saying that they were the reason as to why he is not moving forward. When really he has blamed other people for so long at this point HE was the reason he was not moving forward.
At this point what he was saying was just an excuse. If you are allowing people to hold you back then you are giving them the power to hold you back.
Through my 30 something years of living I have quickly learned that people are not going to like you. You are going to face opposition. People are going to mistreat you or be jealous of you (see my blog here). People are going to put you down. You are not going to be treated fairly because you are a woman, because of how you look, because of how your hair is styled, because people do not like your name, because of where you come from, because of your job, because of your skin, because of your age, because you are too fat, because you are too skinny, or because of anything. I can name anything about you, and I can guarantee that someone out there is going to hate you for it.
And through my 30 something years of living I learned that you cannot changed people BUT you can change the way that you respond to people (Click here to read my blog on accepting the things you cannot change). And that include stop blaming others for your problem and rise about what other people think and live your life regardless.
Because at the end of the day blaming others for your problems is energy wasted that can go toward something more productive. There have been a whole list of people have have not like me and have tried to hold me back. But you know what I did. I kept going. Because no matter how much you hate me it is not going to change who I am. It is not going to change how many degrees I have. It is not going to change how I act or how hard I work. If I was stuck sitting here blaming other people just like that guy on the Steve Harvey Morning show, I would be calling in wasting my life away complaining on a morning show as oppose to living my life to the fullest.
So I am here to tell you that you cannot allow other people’s opinion of you to hold you back and to stop blaming others for your problems. If you do, then you are allowing them to have dominion over you. You are giving them power over you that they do not deserve. And the more that you worry about them and what they are doing to you, the less time you have to worry about yourself and the things that you should be doing to propel yourself forward.
It is sad to say that the world in which we live, people make too many excuses why they cannot do something. Why they are failing or why they cannot get ahead. They want to blame everyone else for their problems. But you cannot let that somebody stop you from what you are supposed to do.
So every time you open your mouth to put the blame on someone else, change your thinking and instead choose to open your mouth and say something that you are thankful for. Instead choose to do something positive instead of focusing on the negative. Nothing in this world worth having is given to you easy (see my blog here). That is a common misconception. Just because you were meant to do something does not mean that you path will be easy and clear. It takes a lot of resiliency, hard work, and moving of mountains to get there. And a lot of realizing that other people cannot steal your destiny if you don’t allow it.
Therefore, I say to you. Do not be like the man on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Do not point out what everyone is doing wrong to you and stop blaming others for your problems saying they are the reason why you cannot get ahead. Instead, just get ahead. Make those people regret treating you like you were nothing.