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You must learn to accept the things you cannot change. Some people have so many issues in the past and present, which in turn effects their future because they are too focused on changing things they can’t. When you refuse to accept the things you cannot change you allow your mind to live in internal torment. It goes round and round in circles trying to figure out an alternative and change something that is going to have the same ending regardless. Which in turn leads to a lot of frustration.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change in The past
How many times have you sat and thought about something that you did in the past and allowed it to dictate your future? How many times have you sat and still wanted to be with that ex, and won’t allow yourself to move on. And how many times have you ended up getting frustrated time and time again because no matter how bad you want your ex you are still broken up. Because the more you think about the past, that is all it is. Thoughts, you cannot change it.
Often times people develop low self-esteem or a low self-worth based on what someone has told them about themselves in the past (click here to read more on this topic). Many people are single today because they cannot let go of the ex that dumped them 5 years ago.
It all comes down to this. You cannot change the way that people treated you. You cannot change the fact that they called you dumb, stupid, fat, and made you feel bad about yourself. Just like you cannot make your ex take you back nor can you change any decision that you have ever made. What you can do is change how you let the past effect you. You can change the seeds of low self esteem people planted in your head and you can decide to get over your ex. You cannot change what happened, but you can change how you react to it in the present.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change in The Present
I can recall that there was a times in which I would have issues with people for no reason. I would try to be nice, but it only made things worse. People mistook kindness for weakness and looked at me being nice as a way to take advantage even more.
As a result I did a 360. So that people would not take advantage of me I would them snap on them, to let them know that I was not the want to be toyed with. What I am getting at is this is all very exhausting. Me going off on people was me trying to change people and show them that they cannot bother me.
When in fact the reason why I was snapping on them is because I allowed them to bother me.
Me sitting and wondering or caring why people do not like me was my attempt to understand something that probably was not understandable.
There are always going to be people or situations that try to get in your way (click to read my blog here). There are going to be people who do not like you. But you cannot change them. You can waste all of your time energy and effort being mean to them and getting back at them it is not going to change anything. You can waste all of your energy being nice to them and they still don’t like you. And guess what, there is nothing you can do about it. They are going to treat you the way they want to treat you end of story.
Remember, accept the things you cannot change. Stop caring about what people are doing to you and if they like you or not. If you cannot change it then do not sit and try. Change yourself. Change the fact that you let other people’s opinion of you bother you.
People who hate on you really has nothing to do with you, but it has to do with them and their own insecurities (click here to read my blog about that). And the more you waste time on what they think in the present, that is time that you could be dedicated to securing yourself a better future. (Check out my blog on The More You Worry About Other People Getting In Your Way, Less Time You Have To Worry About Propelling Yourself Forward.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change in The Future
I once read an interesting book. I cannot remember what the book was but I can remember what it said. The devil loves to reminds you of the things of your past so that you future can be affected. And it is so true. When we talked about the past imagine if you were still stuck there. You still have low self esteem because your class kept calling you ugly when you were in the 5th grade. And it is now 10 years later and you still want that ex boyfriend back despite him being married and having two kids.
And all those people who did not like you, you let them send you into depression. So now here you are in the future with a life that sucks because you could not get over things that were beyond your control. You allowed this uncontrollable situation get out of control and now here you sit in the future with all of these issues.
Had you just accepted the thing you could not change and stop dwelling and getting all bent out of shape with the things going on all around you that really had nothing to you with you all these things would have have affected your future. You could have high self esteem and be married instead of being depressed, single, and chasing a man that doesn’t want you. Can you see now why you must accept the things you cannot change and the only real thing you can totally control is yourself, your actions, and the way you react to situations.
Do not get so stuck in life that you keep going around the same mountain, failing the same test, causing yourself psychological damage because you cannot accept the way the world and situations are. Accept the things you cannot change, change what you can, and always move gracefully through life.