You must learn to accept the things you cannot change. Some people have so many issues in the past and present, which in turn effects their future because they are too focused on changing things they can’t.
Your mind goes round and round in circles trying to figure out an alternative and change something that is going to have the same ending regardless. Which in turn leads to a lot of frustration.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change in The past
How many times have you sat and thought about something that you did in the past and allowed it to dictate your future? How many times have you sat and still wanted to be with that ex, and won’t allow yourself to move on. And how many times have you ended up getting frustrated time and time again because no matter how bad you want your ex you are still broken up. Because the more you think about the past, that is all it is. The PAST. Thoughts, you cannot change.
Often times people develop low self-esteem or a low self-worth based on what someone has told them about themselves in the past (click here to read more on this topic). Many people are single today because they cannot let go of the ex that dumped them 5 years ago.
It all comes down to this. You cannot change the way that people treated you. You cannot change the fact that they called you dumb, stupid, fat, and made you feel bad about yourself. Just like you cannot make your ex take you back nor can you change any decision that you have ever made. What you can do is change how you let the past affect you. You can change the seeds of low self esteem people planted in your head and you can decide to move on. You cannot change what happened, but you can change how you react to it in the present.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change in The Present
I can recall that there was a times in which I would have issues with people for no reason. I would try to be nice, but it only made things worse. People mistook kindness for weakness and looked at me being nice as a way to take advantage even more.
As a result I did a 180. So that people would not take advantage of me I would them snap on them. What I was doing was taking an issue from the past and bringing it to the present. Me going off on people was me trying to change people and show them that they cannot bother me.
When the real issue was that I was bothered. I was making people in my present pay for the people in my past. What I should have done is accepted my past and dealt with it, not allow the demons of the past to continue to haunt my present and change the way I treated people.
There are always going to be people or situations that try to get in your way (click to read my blog here). There are going to be people who do not like you. But you cannot change them nor can you change what the did to you. You can waste all of your time, energy, and effort being mean to them and getting back at them it is not going to change anything. And you cannot use the hatred that you have from the situations from your past to come and dictate your present.
People who hate on you really has nothing to do with you, but it has to do with them and their own insecurities (click here to read my blog about that). And more than likely it is something from their past that is making them treat you a certain way. When you refuse to move on your your past, it is a never ending cycle that those demons will come to haunt you time and time again. Changing who you are as a person. Changing how you act in the present and changing the course of your future.
Accept The Things You Cannot Change in The Future
I once read an interesting book. I cannot remember what the book was but I can remember what it said. The devil loves to reminds you of the things of your past so that he can ruin your future (you can also check out my blog on works of the devil).
When we talk about the past imagine if you were still stuck there. You still have low self esteem now because your class kept calling you ugly when you were in the 5th grade. And it is now 10 years later and you still want that ex boyfriend back despite him being married and having two kids because deep down you still think you are ugly and deep down you still don’t think you deserve your own man.
And all those people who did not like you, you let them send you into depression. People spend YEARS in depression or being angry. So now here you are in the future with a life that sucks because you could not get over things that were beyond your control. You allowed this uncontrollable situation get out of control and now here you sit in the future with all of these issues. And you will continue to have issue because instead of accepting the past you want to keep reliving it.
Had you just accepted the things you could not change.You could have high self esteem and be married instead of being depressed, single, and chasing a man that doesn’t want you. Refusing to accept the things you cannot change is making you a bad mother because your mother was a bad mother, it is keeping you down because you have always been kept down. And you have allowed for it to go on for so long you don’t know how to change it. You keep playing it back in your mind over and over again trying to change the unchangeable.
Do not get so stuck in life that you keep going around the same mountain, failing the same test, causing yourself psychological damage because you cannot accept the way the world and situations are. Accept the things you cannot change, accept the way people have treated you, accept what has happened to you. You don’t have the like it, but you have to accept it AND you have to move on from it.