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Have you ever wondered why you’re bad at relationships? Have you ever felt like you were getting into relationships that were destined to fail? Have you ever felt like you kept loving people who did not love you back?
We have all had bad relationships but if you are always in a bad relationship time and time and again, then the common denominator is you. Think about it, if the person you are with is changing but the same bad relationship tendencies are happening to you, then you may the reason.
Of course, you cannot control who you meet, who is attracted to you, or the way someone treats you. What you can do is control what you accept (see my blog here), who you get serious with, how long you stay in a relationship, and the way you are perceived in a relationship. Often times ones inability to recognize how to control one of these areas is what leads someone into a bad relationship. Notice all the common themes in the above statements, they all talk about YOU.
Many people feel that they have bad luck in love. But often times the people that we fall in love with is a reflection of ourselves and our own insecurities. For example, if you are finding a man out of desperation, that desperation will show. It would be like you have an X on your forehead asking for doggish men to come seek you out. Because you are desperate to find a man, you will act desperate, you dress desperate, and you give off the desperation vibe. So men who are doggish will come to you because they know for a fact that they will be able to get what they want out of you and that you will accept everything.
So it is not really that you’re bad at relationships. BUT nine times out of ten if you keep finding yourself in bad relationships it is more you may be trying to force love where it should not be. And since love was never meant to be there in the first place, love never happens for you. The relationship is bad because you getting into a relationship from a bad place. Which leads you to believe that you are cursed, when sometimes you are actually attracting the wrong things to yourself.
If every man breaks up with you, does not want to go on a second date with you, or does not want to give you the time of day. Then it very possible that it is something YOU are doing. Every man cannot be wrong about you. It is time to turn the mirror on yourself and reflect what it is about yourself that is turning people off.
Some common issues as to why You’re Bad at Relationships are:
Dressing too sexy.
I do not think that you should dress as a nun, but I also do not think that you should allow it to all hand out. Remember what we talked about in the above statement. The only person that you can control is yourself. You cannot control how a man perceives you. So you may be the nicest woman in the world but you are dressed like a prostitute, then that is how a man will see you. And if he sees you like a prostitute then that is how he will treat you. It is very hard to convince a man to treat you like his future wife if he cannot envision you as his future wife.
You lack substance
A man may be attracted to your outside, but you may lack substance on the inside. You may not have anything real to talk about or you may just talk about sex which will not keep a man in the long run. They may laugh and think it is cute, but you cannot build a real meaningful relationship off what you look like, you have to have something on the inside to back it up.
Giving it up way to soon
Men judge women on how fast they give it up. They may lie to you and tell you that they are not judging you, but deep down they are judging you. So having sex with a man before you really know him, his intentions, or within the first 24 hours of knowing him, is wrong. And it will push most men away. (Check out my blog here for more on hooking up too soon).
You Don’t Know How To Act
No one wants to have a woman that is full of drama all of the time. Or does not know how to act in public or in front of his family. Many woman have issues, no one is perfect. But if you are just a psycho hot mess then that is the same type mentality you will bring into your relationships. Making your relationship a hot mess.
The moral of this story is that if you are in a bad relationship time and time again then it may not be the other person boo. It is more than likely you. So you need to get some counseling, life coaching, or have some type of self reflective moment so that you can understand why you keep attracting this nonsense or even why you accept this nonsense.
Now that I have went in on you a but I want to end of this. Every woman deserves to have a happy and healthy relationship. Just because you keep finding yourself in a bad relationship does not mean that you deserve a bad relationship. But at the end of the day you need to reflect on the vibe you are putting out and fix your dysfunctional relationship patterns. That way you can stop finding yourself in bad relationships.
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