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Many women are in an abusive relationship with themselves and do not even know it.
- Put yourself down.
- Not think that you deserve to be happy.
- Have low self-esteem.
- Allow people talk bad about you.
- Make fun of yourself.
- Get into an abundance of sexual relationships or destructive relationships so that you feel loved.
- Look for validation in other people.
If any of these sound familiar to you, you are in an abusive relationship with yourself. This means that you devalue yourself all of which take a bearing on your overall wellbeing…..even if you do not realize it. Being in an abusive relationship with yourself leads to you doing things to hurt yourself. Things like having an eating disorder or behaviors in which you cut yourself. So here are ways in which you can end the abusive relationship you have with yourself.
You are yourself
The first thing that you have to realize is that you are yourself and there is no changing that. You are always going to be yourself and you are going to be stuck with yourself no matter where you go. Once you understand that you cannot run away from who you are, the more you will begin to accept who you are. And accepting who you are is the first step into getting out of an abusive relationship with yourself.
Why Do You Hate Yourself So Much?
Most people who are in an abusive relationship with themselves, do not like themselves, or do not like an aspect of themselves. In order to get out of an abusive relationship with yourself to need to learn what is it about yourself that you do not like. Do you not like yourself because you are fat? Because you are too skinny? Because you feel that you are unattractive? Because you are strange and awkward?
Sometimes the fact that you are abusive toward yourself does not come from you, but rather an idea that someone has put into your head. If you were told you would never amount to anything, if you have always been picked on for being overweight, or if you have frenemies that talk bad about you (see my blog here on frenemies); these are the situations that make you start to believe bad things about yourself. And believing bad things about yourself will cause you to abuse yourself.
Getting to the root cause of understanding why you abuse yourself can help you understand how to fix it.
What is it that makes you abusive yourself?
Now once you understand the thing or things that make you abusive yourself, you need to own it. No matter how fat I am or how much acne I get on my face, I am never going to hate myself. I know how to separate the physical things about myself to who I am as a person. (Click here to read my blog on how to accept yourself flaws and all).
Learn To accept yourself
I used to be strange, awkward, and weird. In fact, I still am. But instead of resenting those things about myself I learn to love them. My personal mantra is
“Why Would I Want To Be Like Anyone Else?”
And that is a great question to ask. If God took the time into making me the person that I am weirdness and all, I should be happy about that. Often times, it is that one person that stands out that makes all the difference. So do not be afraid of the things that make you different. Embrace them. And understand that if you do not like something about yourself you have the power to change it. But never allow the one or two things that you do not like about yourself define you as a person.
An abusive person will tell themselves everyday how much they suck, how dumb they are, how fat they are, or how they deserve to be abused.
Believe it or not, when you put yourself down these words sink into your brain making you believe these things. When you believe these things about yourself then the world will pick up on it and the world will start to believe those things about you too. Instead of coming down on yourself, replace negative thinking with positive affirmation.
- If you think you are dumb, then every day tell yourself that you are smart.
- If you call yourself fat, then tell yourself that you are working on being healthy and that all that matters.
- If you call yourself ugly, then tell yourself that you are beautiful. Because you are! And realize that beauty comes in various forms.
Start a New
Being in an abusive relationship with yourself may take some time to fix. But once you do fix it, you will have more confidence and you will find yourself in better situations, better relationships, better jobs, and around a better group of people. Trust me.
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