Many women are in an abusive relationship with themselves and do not even know it. If you cannot recognize the signs of an abusive relationship with yourself, then how can you fix it. Often times when you are in an abusive relationship with yourself, you bring other abusive people to you. When you learn how to treat yourself that is when you can learn how to properly be loved by other people (see my blog here on how to change what you accept).
Here are some very common signs of an abusive relationship with yourself.
- Put yourself down.
- Not think that you deserve to be happy.
- Have low self-esteem.
- Allow people talk bad about you.
- Make fun of yourself.
- Get into an abundance of sexual relationships or destructive relationships so that you feel loved.
- Look for validation in other people.
If any of these sound familiar to you, you are in an abusive relationship with yourself. This means that you devalue yourself all of which take a bearing on your overall wellbeing…..even if you do not realize it. Being in an abusive relationship with yourself leads to you doing things to hurt yourself. Things like having an eating disorder, sometimes even depression, or getting into bad relationships can be a cause of being in an abusive relationship with yourself. Now that you know the signs of being in an abusive relationship with yourself. it is time to get into what to do about.
So here are ways in which you can end the abusive relationship you have with yourself.
Signs of An Abusive Relationship Intervention Understand You are yourself
The first thing that you have to realize is that you are yourself and there is no changing that. You are always going to be yourself and you are going to be stuck with yourself no matter where you go. So if you hate yourself then that is where the problems comes in. Unless you plan on killing yourself (don’t do that) you are trapped with you for a very long time. It is going to be hard to be trapped with a person you don’t like if you don’t like yourself. So instead of trying to run away from yourself (which cannot happened). Accept yourself and face yourself head on. Once you understand that you cannot run away from who you are, the more you will begin to accept who you are. Understand you have flaws and that you were made for a reason. Understand that there is no one else like you on this entire you. Instead of resenting yourself, understand yourself and how you work. Start to fall in love with the things that make you, you; instead of spending your time hating you. Because no matter how much you dislike yourself, nothing is going to change the fact that you are you.
Signs of An Abusive Relationship Intervention Understand Why Do You Hate Yourself So Much?
Most people who are in an abusive relationship with themselves, do not like themselves, or do not like an aspect of themselves. In order to get out of an abusive relationship with yourself to need to learn what is it about yourself that you do not like. Do you not like yourself because you are fat? Because you are too skinny? Because you feel that you are unattractive? Because you are strange and awkward?
Sometimes the fact that you are abusive toward yourself does not come from you, but rather an idea that someone has put into your head. If you were told you would never amount to anything, if you have always been picked on for being overweight, or if you have frenemies that talk bad about you (see my blog here on frenemies); these are the situations that make you start to believe bad things about yourself. And believing bad things about yourself will cause you to abuse yourself.
For example, if an ex boyfriend told you that you are ugly and no one will ever want you. He planted that seed in your head and now you hate yourself because of you. You have to fight that thought and combat the things that other people have told you. If you hate yourself because you are fat. Then you do not really hate yourself. You just hate the fat that is on your body. Eating right and/or exercising can change that. If you hate yourself because there is something about you, you cannot change. Read my blog here on amazing people that took flaws and turned it into their purpose (Click to read my blog here). Sometimes the very thing that you hate about yourself is the same thing that people will come to love you for.
Signs of An Abusive Relationship Intervention Be Nice To Yourself
Your words have power (see blog here). An abusive person will tell themselves everyday how much they suck, how dumb they are, how fat they are, or how they deserve to be abused. And because they speak that to themselves that is how they are going to feel. Because that is what is in their mind all day everyday and that is what they are telling themselves.
When you put yourself down these words sink into your brain making you believe these things. When you believe these things about yourself then the world will pick up on it and the world will start to believe those things about you too. Instead of coming down on yourself, replace negative thinking with positive affirmation.
- If you think you are dumb, then every day tell yourself that you are smart.
- If you call yourself fat, then tell yourself that you are working on being healthy and that all that matters.
- If you call yourself ugly, then tell yourself that you are beautiful. Because you are! And realize that beauty comes in various forms.
Signs of An Abusive Relationship Intervention Start a New
Being in an abusive relationship with yourself may take some time to fix. But once you do fix it, you will have more confidence and you will find yourself in better situations, better relationships, better jobs, and around a better group of people. Trust me.
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