As women I think we have the tendency to be extremely hard on ourselves and our appearance. Or at least I do. Women judging themselves and other woman is so ingrained in our psyche that we do not realize how detrimental it is. For myself, I always had a thicker build. Every since I can remember I had be going on fade diets or basically starving myself to get to an “ideal” weight. Now, as a 30 something year old women. I am nowhere near my ideal weight and my body cannot take the starvation diets anymore. So decided that I would that try to do it the right way that did not consist of eating one piece of fruit every 6 days. But now, I feel, it is taking me too long to lose weight. To the point that I find myself picking myself apart about how fat I am.
And it does not stop there. I pick myself apart about my skin, when I break out, I mean everything you can imagine I look at myself and wonder “Why can’t this be better?” The crazy thing is that I do not suffer from low self-esteem. But this type of behavior is what we are taught as women. I can recall I was at a bridal shop helping my friend pick out a dress. And literally every woman that tried on a dress spoke about how fat they were or how they needed to lose weight. And majority of them were average sized women.
Where do we get this from?
If we get it from main stream media, I think we all need to realize that their form of beauty is not reality. They literally have cooks, personal trainers, or plastic sugary that makes them look like “perfection.” And by the time they grace the magazine covers, they have had a ton of Photoshop that makes us believe that the picture in the magazine is really what they look like. And it isn’t. So that begs the questions, why are we comparing ourselves to a beauty standard that does not exist?
One day and I was going in on myself for being fat and having bad skin, God spoke very loudly to me and told me “enough!” He asked me why do I keep putting myself through this torture by pointing out crazy things about myself? At the end of the day I am the way I am and since God sees me as beautiful then perhaps I needed to start seeing myself though God’s eyes and not the world’s eyes. Because if we use the world’s eyes to judge ourselves then we will be forever chasing after an image of ourselves that does not exists. Because the world is materialistic and superficial, and that is what we will become it we conform ourselves to the world.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
Seeing yourself through the world’s eyes is how we get eating disorders, body dysmorphic, or people who get extremes amount of plastic surgery just trying to make themselves look better when in fact they are making themselves look worse. I do not want anyone to misconstrue what I am saying. I do feel that we should take care of our bodies. I am not giving anyone the excuse to overeat or weight 500 pounds and say that it is okay. What I am saying is that if you are not a size 2 then it is okay. If you are a size 16 and you want to lose weight fine. But know that you are still a beautiful person no matter if you are a size 16 or a size 5; and as long as you are losing weight the healthy way then that is all that matters.
And if you are single and you are sitting around thinking that no man would ever want you because of you weight, your acne scars, or that birth mark that goes across your face. Understand that everybody is beautiful to somebody; and you will attract the person that thinks you are beautiful as is. I encourage you all to read this story about a model (Turia Pitt) who was burned in a fire. Most of her body is burned and her face does not look as it once did. AND her husband chose to marry her anyway.
I am sure that he fell in love with her beauty when they first met, but then he feel in love with her heart AND that is the love that will carry you long term. That is the type of love that you want.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
If someone loves you for your outward beauty, then in 20 years from now when your beauty is not what it once was….then what? Are they going to leave you and trade you in for a younger model. Instead get someone who accepts you and that comes by accepting yourself first. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your appearance or look your best; but do not think that your beauty as a person is contingent upon you looking like Kim Kardashian or Beyoncé. That is not reality. They are them and you are you, and you can be just as awesome and just as beautiful if you stop trying to be them and accept yourself.