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You must and yes I mean MUST learn how to accept yourself. As women I think we have the tendency to be extremely hard on ourselves and our appearance. Women judging themselves and other woman is so ingrained in our psyche that we do not realize how detrimental it is. For myself, I always had a thicker build. Every since I can remember I had be going on fade diets or basically starving myself to get to an “ideal” weight. Now, as a 30 something year old women. I am nowhere near my ideal weight and my body cannot take the starvation diets anymore.
Oh and wait. Like all women, I could not just find one thing that is wrong with us. We have to keep going. I pick myself apart about my skin, when I break out, I mean everything you can imagine I look at myself and wonder “Why can’t this be better?” I do not suffer from low self-esteem. But this type of behavior is what we are taught as women. You must be better, you must look better, you must wear this size and you must look like that.
It is so in us (women) to criticize ourselves and we do even realize it. I was at a bridal shop with my friend and I promise you EVERY single woman who tried on a dress said “I won’t be this weight.” Or “I want to order a size smaller, I am going to loose weight.” It was insane. And most of them were average sized women.
Where do we get this from?
If we get it from main stream media, I think we all need to realize that their form of beauty is not reality. They literally have cooks, personal trainers, and/or plastic surgery that make them look like “perfection.” And by the time they grace the magazine covers, they have had a ton of Photoshop that makes us believe that the picture in the magazine is really what they look like. And it isn’t. So that begs the questions, why are we comparing ourselves to a beauty standard that does not exist?
One day and I was going in on myself for being fat and having bad skin and God spoke very loudly to me and told me “enough!” He asked me why do I keep putting myself through this torture by pointing out crazy things about myself? Because the fact of the matter is, even when my skin is clear and I am my ideal weight it is always something else. And the reality of all of this is that if we use the world’s eyes to judge ourselves then we will be forever chasing after an image of ourselves that does not exists. Because the world is materialistic and superficial, and that is what we will become it we conform ourselves to the world.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
Seeing yourself through the world’s eyes is how we get eating disorders, body dysmorphic, or people who get extremes amount of plastic surgery just trying to make themselves look better when in fact they are making themselves look worse. I do not want anyone to misconstrue what I am saying. I do feel that we should take care of our bodies. I am not giving anyone the excuse to overeat or weight 500 pounds and say that it is okay. What I am saying is that if you are not a size 2 then it is okay and if you are a size 12 and are healthy then that too is okay. Know that you are still a beautiful person no matter if you are a size 16 or a size 5; and as long as you are healthy then you are fine.
I encourage you all to read this story about a model (Turia Pitt) who was burned in a fire. Most of her body is burned and her face does not look as it once did. AND her husband chose to marry her anyway. To me her story is not just about her husband choosing to marry her anyway. It is about who she is as a person and the purpose that she serves in the world regardless of how she looks.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
If someone loves you for your outward beauty, then in 20 years from now when your beauty is not what it once was….then what? Are they going to leave you and trade you in for a younger model. Instead get someone who accepts you and that comes by accepting yourself first. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your appearance or look your best; but do not think that your beauty as a person is contingent upon you looking like Kim Kardashian or Beyoncé.
And for all of you going in about your looks there are plenty of woman who go through fires and have a disorder that affects their looks and you do not see them complaining. Instead you see them doing there thing, working and sharing their story with the world. I don’t know about you, but when I see that they have learned to accept themselves, it makes me want to accept myself. Because beauty is only skin deep and if you do not have anything going on behind it then what?
Shalom Blac suffered burns all over her body as a child (see story here) and she is beautiful. Not only had she learned to accept her burns, but she has used her childhood situation and turned her experience into something positive. That is what I call accepting yourself.
Lizzie Velasquez who was born with a disorder in which she cannot get fat. Was once a victim of online bullying and now she is a victor in the fact that she has turned what other people said about her into a way to inspire and motivate people. She is a speaking and she is an author, and I do not think she is sitting around feeling sorry for herself.
Winnie Harlow born with vitiligo, now a model. She was once seen as someone that does not meet the standards of beauty, now she is gracing the covers of magazine, like literally. She is a model!
So what am I trying to say? I am saying that at one point I am sure all of these woman thought they had flaws. But they accepted them and embraced them, and now they are able to do amazing things. Tearing down yourself because of your flaws will get you no where but low self esteem and a possible eating disorder. Understanding that you are you and choosing to accept yourself allows you (the you, you were created to be) to step out and do amazing thing. Therefore, I impress upon all women. Learn how to accept yourself, your flaws, and your uniqueness. It is these same flaws that perhaps can take you very far one day. And more than anything stop comparing yourself to a standard of beauty that only exist in magazine. Create you own beauty and like these woman above make the world accept what you have to offer.
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