You Can’t Make Him Fall in Love With You

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You Can't Make Him Fall in Love With You

You Can’t Make Him Fall in Love With You

Let me say it again, you can’t make him fall in love with you. And one more time for good measure, there is nothing that a woman can do to make him fall in love. I had to say it so many times because no matter how many times I saw it women are in this endless cycle of trying to make a man fall in love with him.  I must reveal this revelation after a friend came to me and said:

You Can't Make Him Fall in Love With You“Why can’t I make him see how much I love him and why can’t I make him accept my love?”

She kept trying to convince herself that she was the first real women to love the man and that the man has somehow hardened his heart against love because of the past relationships he has been though.

Isn’t it amazing how many excuses a woman can come up with to explain a man’s behavior.  Instead of women seeing the situation for what it is. That he does not love her. Instead, she wanted to blame some outside force instead of facing the reality that he does not want her.

I told my friend that it was not her job or her place to make anyone love her.  She could not make him accept her love nor should be trying to make him accept her love.  The fact of the matter is, earning a man’s love is not her job as women.

This is the biggest lie that has been told to women.  That you need to be a man’s ride or die, that you need to do everything in your power to earn his love, or that you need to do whatever he wants you to do to show him how much you love him.  All the while the man has hit a gold mine, because he literally has a modern day slave that is willing to do anything for him while he does not have to put much effort in at all.

Women, let me ask you a question.

If you are the one doing all the work in the relationship, do you not think that you are worthy of the man putting forth the same type of effort that you put in?

Relationships are not supposed to be one sided.  I get modern day society but I just do not feel that it is a woman’s place to court a man.  I do not care what year it is and how progressive we have gotten in the world.You Can't Make Him Fall in Love With You

So women, instead of you asking what you can do in order to make him fall in love with you.  Turn that question around and ask yourself what has the man done to make you love him.  As hard as you want them to love you, you need to be loved as well.  You should never be in a position in which you are begging and pleading for a man to be with you.  If his emotions are not there, it is best to just build a bridge and get over it.  And save your love for someone else who deserves it.

I think that one of the key things that women are missing is that we must start to believe that we are worth it.  I am not sure if women think that there is a shortage of men, but we have somehow started fighting other women for men who are not so good in the first place (see my blog here on women fighting over a man).

Do not allow a bad man to make you believe that he is a good man and keep you trapped, because he makes you think you cannot do better.  Or that if you just loved him harder than maybe he can someday love you. This is lie that so many women are walking around believing.

Understand that no matter how long you have been in a relationship if it is not a good relationship then you can always walk away.  What is the point of spending 10 years in a relationship where you feel undervalued and underappreciated. Trying to make him love you.

As a women tell yourself:

  • I deserved to be loved.
  • I deserve to be a man’s number one.
  • I am not a man’s second, third, of fourth choice.
  • I am good enough for a man to love me AS IS.  And I do not need to change myself to make him love me.  
  • If a man is not willing to give me the type of love that I deserve then I am willing to walk away.

Say these things over and over again until you believe them.  And when you start to believe them that is when you will start to implement them and stop getting into dead in relationships that are going nowhere.

You Can't Make Him Fall in Love With You


  1. As a mom of a teenage girl, this is so on point. It is something I’ve been working really hard to teach my daughter because it wasn’t taught to me, in fact, I was taught that all of my self-worth comes from my husband. It has been an uphill battle, but I’m finally learning to love myself without the approval of anyone else.

  2. Why should this be a woman job, not, never, ain’t going to happen. Thought love was equal on both.

  3. Healthy relationships are maintained when both partners put in equal effort and maintain excellent communication. Good relationships consist of mutual love, mutual admiration, deep friendship, trustworthiness, and respect.

  4. Such an important lesson to learn. Too many girls wrap up everything in their relationships and then beat themselves up when it doesn’t go right… It’s a two way street, and he should be fighting for you just as much as you are fighting for him. If not, move on! You can do better.

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