Single Woman’s Challenge Day 16: The Woman I Want To Be

Today is Single Christian Woman’s Challenge Day 16. To view the whole month click here.

Today’s challenge is:

Day 16: The Woman I Want to Be

We have already written about 3 things we want to find in husband (click here to see mine). Today’s assignment is to write down the qualities of the wife/person that you want to be an
d the steps that you can take to become that type of person.

Diane von Furstenberg has the best quote about this topic.

“I did not know what I wanted to do, but I know the type of woman I wanted to be.”

I can see myself in this quote.  I have an idea of what I want to do and how I want to use my talents, but more importantly I know how I want to get there and the type of person that I want to be in order to get there.

I am a woman, and I have encountered so many insecure conniving back stabbing women in my life time.  Some women feel the only way to build themselves up is to put other people down.  And sometimes you are the target of their insecurities.  Supervisors, friends, or co-workers, you name it.  One thing that I always knew is I never wanted to be that type of woman.

You may not like me, but you have to
respect me.  You will respect me because I have shown myself to be a person of good character.  One that does not lie on people or stab people in the back.  I want to be the woman that once I reach the top I can hold my head high because I did it with integrity.

The world may seem big, but it is so small.  This means that your reputation may proceed you.  I cannot tell you how many people that I had not even meant yet, but heard about how nasty of a person they were.  I can recall that I worked for a supervisor a few years back and she was absolutely terrible.  I mean the worse, I hated coming to work.  I would actually try to actively avoid her if I could.  I have a friend that I told about all of my work place horrors.  And as luck would have it she came in contact with my old boss just a few days ago (years later mind you).  And although she had NEVER met the lady before she recognized her because of the way she acted.  As a result she wanted to keep her distance.

I told my friend that she could chose to hang out with my old boss if she wanted, and that she should formulate her own opinion about the woman.  I would hate for her to take what I said and automatically and not like the lady.  People can change.  The moral to this story is that your reputation can proceed you.  You never know who you may bump into that may be a friend of a friend of someone you were once a jerk to.  And even if it was an isolated incident, you will always be known at the crazy woman who does not know how to treat people.

I do not want to be that woman.  You can hate me, but you will never have anything to say bad about me.  In fact the old supervisor that I spoke about, I invited her to church when I used to work at that organization.  It was my way of extending an olive branch and possibility bringing out some of those insecurities demons she had going on.  It never changed the way she treated me.  But guess what, when my friend asked her if she knew me.  No matter how much she disliked me then, she could not say anything bad about me.  Because I had never treated her badly not matter what she did or said to me. And that is the type of woman I want to be.

I wanted to be a woman who is honest, hardworking, inspiring, encouraging, wise, and intelligent.  I do not want to be that insecure woman that pushes every one down in order to build herself up.

As a wife, I want to be a woman who is hardworking and a source of support for her husband.  Not one that is nagging and one that her husband does not want to be around.  I want to be a wife who is value for her intellect and not one that feels she has to shrink down because her husband is intimidated by what 88d332dc-9a42-4a62-8abc-c4e40b846e6fshe knows.

Knowing the type of woman or wife that you want to be will help guide your future.  This way you do not fall into the trap of pursing a husband or a life that will make you into someone you do not want to be.  If anything, read Proverb 31.  It gives us all guidance on the type of woman we want to be.

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About Sophia Reed (314 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at

7 Comments on Single Woman’s Challenge Day 16: The Woman I Want To Be

  1. It’s very important to know exactly what you want, that way you’ll never settle.

  2. Knowing what kind of person you want to be is already a big step. Many people don’t even know that! Inspiring post!

  3. That is definitely a different way to approach things. Thanks for the perspective.

  4. Allan Liwanag // May 17, 2016 at 8:59 pm // Reply

    This is really good. Knowing who you are as a person and what you capable and made of are really keys to attain success in just about anything you do.

  5. This is a great reminder. Thank you for sharing your personal story – it helps highlight the importance!

  6. Very inspiring and well written. I found so much of myself in your words. It’s so important to know who you are and who you want to be.

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