Who Is Tamar In The Bible? 6 Important Lessons You Can Learn From Her

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Who Is Tamar In The Bible? 

Who is Tamar in The Bible. Whenever I think of the life of Tamar in the Bible, daughter of David, I find her situation both sad and something most women can relate to. In case you are wondering who in the world in Tamar.

I am referring to Tamar in the Bible. And she was the daughter of David. As in the David that slew Goliath. Now that we are all on the same page about who Tamar is I want to teach you some of the lessons that we can all take from her.

• Tamar was a woman that was taken advantage of
• Tamar was a woman that after she was taken advantage of she was just thrown away like garbage. 
• Tamar was a woman that after she was used and abused by men that she lost all self-esteem and confidence in herself and that always remained with her. 

With that being said, how many of you can relate to Tamar? How many of you have felt used and abused by men and then thrown away? How many of you have allowed a man to make you feel bad about yourself? 

If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are going to want to read this post about Tamar from the Bible and take away these 5 important lessons and relationship advice.  Also, check out my entire video that I did on Tamar and how she was a bruised and battered woman.  Subscribe to my channel by clicking here. 

1. Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ First Lesson Love, Lust, & Suffering

To answer the question of who is Tamar in the Bible then you should know it was a ratchet story. If you are not familiar with the account of Tamar in the Bible, let me give you a brief overview so that when we get into the lessons of what you can learn from Tamar you will know exactly what I am talking about.

David had a few wives and Tamar was one of David’s daughters.  Amnon was Tamar’s half-brother from another wife. Amnon grew an infatuation with Tamar which turned into lust.  You can also read my blog on love, lust, and infatuation. 

Amnon knew that he could not have sex with his sister Tamar and so he came up with a plan to get what he wanted from her AKA sex.  One day during dinner Amnon told his father, David, that he was too sick to come down and the only thing that could make him feel better was for his sister, Tamar, to come up and feed him.  David sent Tamar to his Amnon’s room and then he raped her.

Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. ˜Get out of here! he snarled at her. No, no! Tamar cried. Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me. But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. He shouted for his servant and demanded, ˜Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her! So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her.” 3 Samuel 13:16-18

After the rape, Tamar, begged for her brother to marry her.  Even though she had been raped and due to no fault of her own, she was now considered spoiled and could not get married to anyone due to her no longer being a virgin. After Amnon had his way with her and his lust subsided, he basically threw her out of his room like common trash, and Tamar is not mentioned again in the Bible; she more than likely lived out her life in isolation and shame.

 So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. 3 Samuel 13:20

So now I am about to speak something real to you women and I want you to be in a place to really absorb what I am saying. The main lesson that we can get from Tamar daughter of David is not about her being raped.  So take that aspect out of it so you really hear me. I am not saying that Tamar being raped is her fault. The lessons that I am going to point out are more about men in general and how Tamar suffered is the story of so many women. 

2. Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ Knowing The Difference Between Love & Lust  

To discover who is Tamar in the Bible I want to bring back the following Bible Verse: 

Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. ˜Get out of here! he snarled at her. ˜No, no! Tamar cried. ˜Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.  But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her.

He shouted for his servant and demanded, ˜Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her! So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her.” 3 Samuel 13:16-18

Amnon did not love his sister he wanted to use his sister. Once he had sex with Tamar that is all she was good for in his eyes.  He threw her out after using and abusing her. He did not care about what happened, to her, he did not care about what happened to her reputation, nor did he want to marry her. Because after he had sex with her his lust was fulfilled and had no more use for Tamar. 

Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ What’s my point

My point is just because a man is attracted to your physical, wants to have sex with you, or has had sex with you that means nothing. All it means is that he is lusting after you and it does not mean that he loves you. So do not get caught up in a man whispering how much he wants to have sex with you and think that it means that he wants you as his future wife.

Guard your heart (click here to read a blog on that).  It is better to get to know the man you are dating and not give in too soon, so you can see what he wants.  To see if he really wants you or if he just wants to have sex with you. I also have a video talking more about how Tamar’s brother fell in lust with her and how to recognize when a man is in lust with you. 

3. Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ Don’t Rip Off Your Royal Robes

What was Tamar in the Bible? Tamar was literally a princess. A daughter of a king. When people saw her they knew that she was royalty. She dressed like royalty and but once she was raped her royal position was defiled and she was no longer seen as a princess. As a princess, Tamar could have had any pick of men but because of Amnon who decided to use her, that was all taken from her.

“Now she had on a long-sleeved garment; for in this manner the virgin daughters of the king dressed in robes. Then his attendant took her out and locked the door behind her. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.” 2 Samuel 13:19-20

Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ What’s my point

I want you to view yourself as a princess because you are a child of God and therefore you are royalty in your own right. Remember you are adorned in your jewels and you should never allow someone to rip off your royal robes, take off your crown, or forget your royal position (see my blog here).

I am sure most women have had a man be so infatuated with you, making you think that he loves you, and as soon as he gets what he wants from you he throws you away. (This was also the case with the Samaritan Women click here to read my blog on her). Leaving you to pick up the pieces on your own.

Once his lustful attraction ends you are left feeling lied to and used.  You want to rip off your robes. You no longer feel like a princess. And just like Amnon, the man, goes about his business living his life and moves on to the next woman while you are stuck like Tamar feeling defiled. 

Your royal robes stripped off because a man took something from you. Also check out my video below for more on forgetting you are a daughter of a king, where I talk more about Tamar in the Bible. 

Fortunately for you, we are not in the days of Tamar and you do not have to go and live in obscurity. Realize your position.  You are royalty and you are a daughter of the highest king there is. AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT.  It does not matter what you have done or what men have done to you.

You can always put back on your royal robes and live like a princess you do not have to be like Tamar and go live as some obscure woman. Never let anyone take away your royal position.  

4. Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ Just Because He Seems Like A Good Choice Doesn’t Mean He Is

Just like Tamar was a princess Amnon was a prince. I am sure that many women would have been happy to be with Amnon. He was a prince and the son of David. He seemed like a good catch with the exception that he was a rapist.  Also, check out my video below for men who look good on paper but are not good for you. 

Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ What’s my point

We are all children of God, but that is not going to matter if the child of God is acting like a heathen (hence Amnon). Never think for one minute that because a man has a good job, a nice place to live, and gives the appearance of a good man that they are a good man.  You will know a good man by their fruits and not what they pretend to be.  Click to read my blog on how to judge people based on their fruit.   

5. Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ Don’t Allow Yourself To Be Taken Advantage Of

Who is Tamar in the Bible, she was a woman raped. I am not saying that it was Tamar’s fault that she was raped. Take away the rape aspect of it and think about the conditions in which she was raped.  The fact that she went into her brother’s room alone put her in a bad position. And more than anything  Amnon was planning on taking advantage of her. 

Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ What’s my point

My point is to try not to put yourself in bad positions to be taken advantage of.  Going over to a man’s house at 2 am after you have had a drunken night at the club is a bad idea. Going over to a man’s house that you just met and do not know him from Adam is a bad idea.  Protect yourself, your body, and your reputation, try not to put yourself in bad and questionable positions that may get you hurt, drugged, or be set up as a booty call. 

6. Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ Just Because He Has Sex With You Does Not Mean He Will Be With You

When you ask yourself who is Tamar in the Bible remember what her story tells us and that is lust does not equal marriage.  In the Bible, it says that Amnon loved Tamar but he didn’t. And this is what you hear Tamar say before she was raped.

“‘No, my brother! she said to him. Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing.  What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel.  Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you. But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.” 2 Samuel 13:13

The fact of the matter is that Amnon never loved Tamar.  He did not speak to his father to marry her.  Amnon did not care if he disgraced Tamar and he really did not even care if he disgraced himself.

Who Is Tamar In The Bible ~ What’s my point

Never think for one second that because a man is lusting after you that it means that he wants to marry you.  And do not think for one second that you can win a man over with sex.  Sex is sex and it is way different from love and having sex with someone is not the same as wanting to make them your wife.

Men like that, like Amnon, will try to trap you so they can take advantage. They are bad men. They do not want to be with you and they do not have good intentions for you. That is why you must always use your discernment when dealing with certain types of men. 

And there are always signs that something is not quite right with them.  I think if we knew the whole story in the Bible, Tamar may have seen or sensed that something was not right with her half-brother.  That perhaps he had an attraction for her that extended beyond brotherly love.

And the sad thing is that we do not know what really happened to the poor Tamar’s daughter of David. We just know that she lost her mind and went somewhere to live out the rest of her days.  That is what happens when someone takes so much from you that you do not have enough left to give to yourself.

Every time a man uses you, they are taking something precious.  And like Tamar, you could be left feeling like you are losing your mind. The Bible is here for us to learn from. So take these lessons from Tamar to heart and learn from them. 

I hope that you not only learned about who is Tamar in the Bible but also learned from her situation.  If you know a woman that has been through her own hardship with men and needs to read this post then share it with them. 

Also, I have a book that is specifically for Christian single women (click here to read more about it or to buy it) and I want to give you the first chapter for free. All you have to do is click here or the picture below and it is yours.