I would love to sit here and tell you that all women time were virgins when they married and they all lived happily ever after. But this was not the case as can be seen with the Samaritan women. If you are not familiar with her I would like you to read John 4:1-42.
I am not going to go over verse by verse here, but I will take some main points and point out what we can all learn from the Samaritan woman.
Let start from John 4:9. This was just after Jesus came sat next to the woman at the well, and asked her to get him something to drink.
“The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?’” John 4:9
Right from the beginning we can see that this Samaritan women was not seen as someone worthy of communicating with a Jew. She is set apart, and not in a good way.
Now here comes the kicker. Pay attention.
“He (meaning Jesus) told her, ‘Go, call your husband and come back.’ ‘I have no husband,’ she replied. Jesus said to her, ‘You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.’” John 4:16-18
Whoa wait hold on lets repeat that. Here we have a Samaritan women at the well by herself. She was more than likely by herself because other women did not want to be around her. This woman has had FIVE husbands! AND the man she was living with now she was not married to. Imagine what people must have been saying about her! Imagine what other women would say about someone who has had five husbands now.
- What was she looking for?
- Why would she put herself through the pain of that many marriages all for them not to work out?
- AND why would she be with yet another man that she is not married to?
Either she is needy, had low self-esteem, looking for a love in all the wrong places, or a combination of all three.
That Samaritan woman is so many women today. She was once me. How many women go from man to man to man to man trying to fill a void that they just can’t put their finger on? And since they cannot put their finger on it they go about creating chaos and dysfunction in their lives by getting into toxic relationships. When the relationship does not work they move on to someone else, chasing after that feeling of love. They never really find love, because the type of love that they are seeking cannot come from a man or being in a relationship. It is a love that comes from within.
It was so significant that Jesus came up to that woman. He knew that she had been looking for love in all the wrong places and has now settled on being a live in girlfriend all for the sake of not being alone.
I guess it is true when the Bible says “there is nothing new under the sun.” There were women who were needy and desperate over a man then, just like they are women who are needy and desperate over a man now.
I am so convinced that Jesus wanted to prove a point to show the Samaritan woman the same message he wants to tell so many women today. Stop chasing men, stop running after men, stop feeling like being with a man is the only thing that gives us life and purpose.
“Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.’ Sir,’ the woman said, ‘you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?” John 4:10-11
The poor woman was probably taking Jesus literally at this point. He was not just talking about regular water. Jesus was comparing the well water to everything that the women had been thirsting for in life. A man, wanting to be love, and wanting to be accepted. He was telling her that if she simply drank from Him, then all of those desires for others things that meant her no good would be washed away. It took me a long time to learn that. Because like that Samaritan women, I thought that happiness lies within other people, when it didn’t. And when you come to a place to where you finally understand that, it is really a beautiful thing.