I am a single mom and I believe that you should take care of yourself. I believe that taking care of yourself include your personal appearance. I care about my appearance. I care about what I look like when I out into the world. If you read my blog you can see that I dedicate wanting women to feel good from the inside and the outside, and caring about what you look like is a part of that. (Also check out my about me page).
Even as Christians we believe that your body is your temple. I do not think that it is vein for you to care about your temple or for you to want to decorate it and make it look nice. But I have a confession to make, as a single mother who likes to get glammed up, you would not believe the types of looks I get from other mothers.
It is like a sin to take care of yourself in another mother’s eyes. It is like they think I am some superficial mother that stays in the mirror all day neglecting her child. There is a stigma around single mothers as is and a single mother that cares too much about her appearance is just code word for a desperate woman out trolling for a husband to help take care of her kid.
I do think that looks matter (see my blog here), but not in the way that you think. I do not think that you should go and try to look like someone else and develop unrealistic expectations of yourself and what you look like. But to look and the mirror and take care of yourself by dressing up or doing your hair does not mean that you care about your looks too much. And it should not be looked at that way.
Yes I care about my appearance, yes I wear makeup every day to include having a full face of glam, and no I do not waste all my money on superficial things. I am actually very cheap, I always try to find things on a budget. (Click here to read my blog on tips for looking good on a budget).
My point is, that why do mothers think that when they become mothers they have to just let themselves go? It is like as a mom you have to join this club of mom jeans, sweats, and are told not to put too much effort in your appearance.
As a mother who really likes to get glammed up I want to tell you a few things. I like to take care of myself and I encourage all women to take care of yourself. And that includes the outside of yourself. And before you write me off as some superficial woman who only cares about looks. I want to give you a few facts of why I think taking care of yourself is important. And then perhaps you will come to see things my way.
Take Care Of Yourself Fact #1 Just because I am pro what I do does not mean that I am anti what you do.
Just because I am pro makeup, pro hair extensions, pro heels, and pro fashionable clothes does not mean that I am anti you walking out of the house however you want to walk out of the house. If you want to go makeup free and wear your sweats 6 days a week then by all means do it. You will get no judgment from me. So if I choose to walk out of the house with a full face of make up on and 6 inch heels then I expect to get no judgment from you.
Take Care of Yourself Fact #2 I do not dress up to get a man or steal a man.
This may shock you but when I am getting all glammed up in the morning I do NOT do it because I want to find a new daddy for my kid or to steal your husband as he picks your child up from school. I do it because I like to do it. Just like you like to drink water, I like to put on makeup, hair weave, and the occasional false eyelash. Not for other people but because I want to. My appearance has nothing to do with how I want other people to feel about me. It is about how I want to feel about myself. And that is the whole idea of when you choose to take care of yourself and your appearance. You are doing it for YOU and not for other people.
Take Care Of Yourself Fact #3 Caring about my appearance does not make me a bad mom.
Since when does wanting to look good for yourself mean that you are sitting around neglecting your children. I am not sitting around buying a thousand dollar pair of red bottom shoes while my child goes hungry because I spent all of our grocery money.
I know where my priorities are, my child is taken care of just like I am taking care of myself. I am a huge advocate of self-care. I do not think it is selfish to focus on what you want once and a while (see my blog here) and make yourself happy. As long as it is not at the expense of your children (see my blog here for more on that topic).
Take Care of Yourself Fact #4 I care about my appearance because of my child.
Maybe I have some deep rooted childhood trauma. But I remember when my mother came to my school in elementary dressed
in sweats and an over sized shirt. I was so embarrassed the kids talked about it for days. Part of the reason why I care about my appearance as a mother is because I want to set a good example for my son. I want him to be proud of how I walk into his school, proud to call me his mom, and more than anything I want to teach him that one should take pride in your appearance.
Take Care of Yourself Fact #5 I like Getting Compliments
I do not dress up for other people like I said. But when I step out of the house and someone (even other women) tell me I look nice or they like my hair, I like that. In all honestly I probably get more compliments from other women than from men. I like that women feel comfortable giving another woman props. I like when other women come to me and ask me for beauty advice. I like to feel good and I like to make other people feel good as well.
Take Care of Yourself Fact #6 Your Body is Your Temple
I am a Christian but I do not think taking care of yourself and caring about your personal appearance is a sin. If God thought so much as to make you, then why would you not want to put effort in the temple that he gave you? Imagine if you went to church and it was all raggedy and trash was on the floor on the church. You would feel offended thinking that people must not really care about this church. Then why neglect what you look like because it can give off the appearance that you really don’t care about yourself.
Everyone can say what they want, but I do not think that me caring about my appearance is is a bad thing. I think everyone you should take care of yourself as a woman. And even as a single mom. Nowhere does it say in the “I am becoming a mom handbook” that I need to allow myself to go downhill.
I do not think it is shallow and I do not think that it is superficial. You only get one body and one face, unless you choose to get plastic surgery and alter it. But still, your face is what you enter the world with and you should want it to look nice along with your overall appearance. I also recognize that the outside is only skin deep and I also aim to be good on the inside as well. That should be everyone’s goal to be both beautiful on the inside at the outside.
Who says that just because you are a mother that you have to stop wanting to look good. After I had my son, getting back into what I wanted to wear and how I wanted to look actually started to make me feel like myself again and it made me feel like a better mother. So just because I am a mother that wants a full face of glam every time I walk out of the house, does not make me a bad mom. And if you do not believe me I dare you one day to take a day to take care of yourself. Put some effort in your hair, your appearance, your skin, and what you wear. I think that as you step out of the house you will find you will feel a whole lot better.