5 Actionable Steps To Letting Go Of The Past

To listen to the blog post “5 Actionable Steps To Letting Go Of The Past To Have An Amazing Future” over reading then click the play button below.

Letting go of the past is important if you want to have a productive future. The fact of the matter is that everyone has a past and everyone has bad things in their past. People who have hurt you, done you wrong, emotionally abused you, psychically abused you, disrespected you, or even things you have done that you are not proud of are all a part of your past.

And even though I am telling you to LET GO, I am  NOT telling you to FORGET.  I am telling you that you have to let go of the past because hanging on to it will only affect you. Also before we get into the post, check out my video on why you should forgive but not forget, and don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel by clicking here.

1. The Dangers Of NOT Letting Go Of the Past

Before we get into how to get go of the past I want to get into some examples of the dangers of not letting go of the past.  I have also written a blog post on carrying emotional baggage which I encourage you to read that will also give you some more examples.

Example #1 Not Letting for of the past. 

Let’s say your past boyfriend broke up with you and cheated on you. Remember I said DO NOT forget. I am not telling you to let go of your past and go with the same doggish boyfriend. What I am saying is that you need to let go of your past so that when you get a new boyfriend you can move and have a healthy relationship.  If you do not move on from the past issues in a relationship then your new boyfriend will be paying for the mistakes of the old boyfriend.

Example #2 Not Letting for of the past. 

A great example of this is a woman who has daddy issues.  I get that daddy issues and even mommy issues are a legit thing. BUT if you carry on these daddy issues and you are not able to let them go then you are always going to get into bad relationships. Also, check out my blog on how to let go of daddy issues. 

Example #3 Not Letting Go Of The Past

Another example of not letting of the past is the refusal to let go of who you used to be.  Understand that we all make mistakes and that whatever we have done we do not live there anymore. And if you cannot remember that then you will keep making the same mistakes of your past over and over again wondering where it all went wrong. OR you will continue to punish yourself for the mistakes of your past even if you do not do them now.

Here is an excerpt from my single mom’s devotional (click here to buy), that I feel will perfectly illustrate this point. If you want to read the first full chapter of my book for free then click here to do so. 

I tell you this, because I want you to know that the past does not define your present or your future. You may be a divorcee, a widow, a one-night stand, a woman that has never been married, or a woman who became a mother through an unplanned pregnancy. It does not matter. What does matter is today. Today is a new day, yesterday is gone and passed away. 

And with every renewing day, you have an opportunity to re-invent yourself. But the key to stepping into your future is letting go of the past. I do not care if you used to be drug addict, prostitute, or promiscuous. As long as it is in the past, let it stay there and do not let it continue to come into your now.

2. The First Step In Letting Go Of The Past Is To Learn From It

You went through everything that you went through for a reason.  Learn from what you went through and keep moving forward.  And most importantly do not keep repeating the same mistakes. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Do not be insane.

Learn, move forward, and do something different. Instead of getting bent out of shape over an ex cheating on you and then swearing off men forever, learn what signs to look for the next time you are dating so that you do not get yourself in the same type of relationship.

3. The Second Step Of Letting Go Of The Past Is To Remember You Do Not Live There Anymore.

A lot of people discredit themselves because of the bad things they have done. They cannot believe that they allowed this to happen, they cannot believe that stayed in a relationship for as long as they did, the cannot believe that they did xyz.

And because they keep on thinking about all the past things that they did they keep reliving them over and over again in their heads. They allow those skeletons to continue to haunt them and allow those skeletons to tell them that they will never outlive their past, even though they do not live in the past anymore.

“No matter how much you think about the past and no matter how much you regret the past, there is NOTHING you can do to change the past. “

As long as you believe that you are not good enough, then you won’t be.  As long as you live in the past then that is where you will stay.  You cannot go back in time and change anything.  And although you may regret the things you have done, it is better to make peace with them and move on.  There is no time machine.  There is no going back in the past and changing anything you have done.  So you have to find a way to leave were it is (in the past) and you have to find a way to move on and looked toward a brighter future.

4. The Third Step in Letting Go Of The Past Is To Stop Listening To Other People.

So even if you are ready to let go of the past there are probably some people in your life that want to keep reminding you of the past.  The mistakes that you made, the things that you have done, or even the things that were done to you. Just remember this, you do not have to prove to anyone that you are not your past; either they accept it or they don’t.  And if they don’t then do not allow them to come into your life, because remember you do not live in your past and the last thing you need is for someone coming along reminding you of it every second of the day.

“If people in your life won’t let you live beyond your past then get rid of those people. “

5. The Final Step Realize That We All Have One

The message that I would like for you to take away is that no one is perfect. Never beat yourself up for whatever demons you have in your past because guess what we all have demons lying around in our past.  Every person has things they regret and things they know they should not have done.

So never see yourself as being defective wondering why bad things always happen to you. Yes, some past are worse than others BUT everyone still has one.  It is apart of being human.  Once you normalize it can be easier to deal with instead of treating your past like some deep dark secret that you can never deal with or talk about.

The last thing I want you to remember is that you do not let anyone or anything dictate your future, but you. And if you hang on to the past then you are giving the past way too much power to determine how you live your life and the future decisions you make. It could determine how well you trust people, who you get into a relationship with, what you do while you are in a relationship, and even what you think of yourself.  So remember let go of the past, learn from it, and don’t let anyone make you relive it.

Which I also spoke about in my song about letting go of the past.  So if you want a bit of music therapy. Check it out below and stream here.

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Above I talked about giving you the first chapter of my Single Mom’s devotional BUT NOW I would also like to offer my book specifically for single woman (click here to buy) that I know for a fact that if you are single you are NOT going to want to miss.  If you are not sure, all you have to do is click here or the picture below and get the FIRST CHAPTER FREE.