What made me feel differently about marriage is that I am often astounded by how many married men are willing to cheat on their wives. I know this because a number of them have tried to come onto me! The one time I can think of where I really realized that some men have no reverence for marriage is when I met a man and he was engaged. Since men do not wear engagement rings I had no idea he was with someone. I had his house number (which may have been a google voice number), his cell, and we talked all times of the night…. FOR HOURS. There was no indication of a fiancé. Our communication went on for about a year. He tried to have sex with me but I didn’t because something was not quite right about him. And low and behold my instincts were true. One day while I was at work, I was browsing the bridal bliss section at Essence.com. I saw a familiar face, along with his wife, and the dream destination wedding they had. I checked the first name which was what he told me his name was, but his last name was different than what he had told me. Just to be sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me, I looked at the occupation of the groom and sure enough it fit the man I had been talking to.
Imagine my surprise to know the man I had been talking to was indeed married. And now it made sense. Why he told me he had just came back from Vegas which was his bachelor party or when he said he came back from an island destination which was his honeymoon. But the shocking part was scrolling through their highly expensive wedding hearing the bride describe a man that did not sound like the man I had come to know. She told stories of how he was such a good Christian man when the man I talk to told me he did not believe in God. She described a man that had me wondering if she knew who she was marrying or maybe he pretended to be someone else with me. The main reason he and I never went anywhere was because he was atheist. I am a Christian and had a hard time getting down with some of the crazy stuff he was saying about God.
It got me to thinking, if engaged men, newly married men, and men who have been married for years can still cheat on their wife…. what chances do I have? I might end up on an episode of Snapped if I found out my husband was cheating.
If you want to know how the story ends between him and I it gets a little worse. When I texted him to ask was his wedding featured in the Bridal Bliss section of Essence, his only response was “Was he handsome or what?” He had a follow up response after I told him his wife was beautiful.. and that was “ Are you into women, do you do threesomes?” And to that I never contacted him again and he never contacted me.
My point is there has been too many picture perfect married couples I have seen only for the husband to come on to me or someone I know. That is when I realized that there is probably a lot of married women that are oblivious to the fact that there husband is a dog or they are living in a fantasy world. Wives of cheating husbands brag all over Facebook about how great their marriage is, when their man has probably smashed half the women on her friends list. Or at least tried.
Do I want to get married… the jury is still out on that one depending on what day you ask. What I do know is that I want something real. I will not be hypnotized by what a man has or what I perceive him to be and overlook the fact that he is not husband material. I have seen too many women fall into that trap and I re-fuse.