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What made me feel differently about marriage is that I am often astounded by the many married men who cheat on their wives. I know this because a number of them have tried to come onto me! In true Sophia form I am hear to share my bad dating experiences with you. So that all the single women out there know that they are not alone in the foolishness.
First off, I do not believe in messing with married men. But the story below is just one example of a married man who was willing to cheat on his wife, the sad thing is I could give many examples if I really wanted to.
With this guy, it started with his engagement. Since men do not wear engagement rings I had no idea he was with someone. I had his house number (which may have been a google voice number), his cell, and we talked all times of the night…. FOR HOURS. There was no indication of a fiance. Our communication went on for about a year. But deep down I always felt that something was not really right about him. Which is why our relationship was only a friendly flirtation relationship and nothing more.
This is why it is important for women to trust their instincts. Because low and behold my instincts were true. One day while I was at work, I was browsing the bridal bliss section at Essence.com, because it was a weird obsession use to do and I saw a familiar face. The guy I had been talking to for over a year for hours and hours on in.
There he was, along with his wife, and the dream destination wedding they had. I checked the first name which was what he told me his name was, but his last name was different than what he had told me. Just to be sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me, I looked at the occupation of the groom and sure enough it fit the man I had been talking to.
Imagine my surprise to know the man I had been talking to was indeed married. And now it made sense. Why he told me he had just came back from Vegas which was his bachelor party or when he said he came back from an island destination which was his honeymoon. But the shocking part was scrolling through their highly expensive wedding hearing the bride describe a man that did not sound like the man I had come to know.
She told stories of how he was such a good Christian man when the man I talk to told me he did not believe in God. She talked about what a faithful man he was and how they had been together for nearly 10 years! She described a man that had me wondering if she knew who she was marrying or maybe he pretended to be someone else with me. Either way, it got me thinking that here she was thinking her life was perfect and really she had married a counterfeit and not the real thing. (See my blog here on the counterfeit).
If you want to know how the story ends between him and I it gets a little worse. When I texted him to ask was his wedding featured in the Bridal Bliss section of Essence, his only response was “Was he handsome or what?” And then just to test the water he next question was “ Are you into women, do you do threesomes?” But he is a “Good Christian man right, according to his wife.” And to answer hit question, I never contacted him again nor did he contact me.
My point is there has been too many picture perfect married couples I have seen only for the husband to come on to me or someone I know. That is when I realized that are a lot of married men who cheat on their wives and that is worst is that the wives of cheating husbands brag all over Facebook about how great their marriage is, when their man has probably smashed half the women on her friends list. Or at least tried. (See my post here on how people pretend on social media)
Do I want to get married yes. But I want something real. I will not be hypnotized by what a man has or what I perceive him to be and overlook the fact that he is not husband material. I have seen too many women fall into that trap and I refuse to be in a marriage where my husband is a fake.
Check out my other dating stories