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When someone dies what to do could be the question you start asking yourself. I know exactly what it is like to start losing faith in God after someone dies. The death of a loved one can be hard, especially when the death is a child. It can be so hard when you are a Christian and somehow you feel that you are exempt from things like this happening to you.
Years ago my three-month-old cousin died. Since my family is so small, we are all very close. The pain of him dying was just had as difficult to me as a nephew or a sibling dies.
And I remember our entire family went through this situation I prayed, I expected miraculous healing, I believed in the impossible, I just knew for a fact that God would not do this to us. We were Christian. We had the faith of a mustard seed and somehow some way, the child would be healed. Three months after the child was born, several blood transfusions, and surgeries he passed away.
I did not think that I would ever be able to trust God again. How could he let this happen? I started questioning God and questioning my faith. Because I had fasted, prayed, spoke in tongues, and believed, and the end result was the same.
If God loved me how could he let this happen. To an innocent child no less? So if you find yourself losing faith in God after someone dies I want to offer you encouragement. My faith was shaken but I am happy to say that now my faith is back stronger than ever. I also recommend you watch my video on how to glory in your suffering and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
1. When Someone Dies What To Do – Forgive God
When someone dies what to do? The first thing you need to do is to forgive God. I was mad at God. I felt that he allowed my family member to die and it was in His will to stop it. I felt that as I prayed He ignored me which just made me have a deeper resentment toward God. Because he did not answer my prayer. In my blog post about being angry with God I said the following about having to forgive God when you are angry with Him.
When you are angry with a person you are angry with them because you feel like they have done something to you. And that is how I felt with God. So just like you have to forgive people who have wrong you, I found myself in a position in which I had to forgive God.”
I had to forgive God for allowing my loved one to die, I had to forgive God because I felt that He let me down, and I had to forgive God for the ways that I felt like he disappointed me. I know that it is easier said than done. As Christian forgiveness is something that we HAVE to do.
We have to forgive our fellow men when they do us wrong. Because harboring unforgiveness against other people affects us negatively. So imagine how much it affects you when you harbor resentment toward God (which has a separate blog post click here)? The only one that is really for you. In these moments, where you feel like you do not want to forgive God because you have lost all trust in Him you have to forgive anyway.
You forgive God knowing that even though someone you loved died, and even though you may feel that God allowed them to die. That situation is not a reflection or an indication of God’s love for you.
In my situation our family believed, we prayed, we did everything that we could so that God would do a miracle, but it never happened. But God’s love never wavered for me and hard times do not mean that God hates me or wants to punish me. But it took me to forgive God to see the bigger picture.
2. When Someone Dies What To Do – Try Seeing The Bigger Picture
When someone dies what to do? Ask yourself, what is death to God? I mean really think about it. When people die the reason why we are upset is that we cannot see them, their life was cut short, and there is now a pain in our heart because of what happened. But to God heaven is really our home and our life on Earth is temporary.
When we lose a loved one even if it is a child God does not see them as being dead. He sees them as being alive and called up to heaven where He is. So the reason why God can allow such things to happen is that God does not view death as we do. To Him, it is not a tragedy. Heaven is perfection and living on Earth is a tragedy. And God looks at us wondering how we can lose faith in Him when it is that same faith that is going to get us into heaven to see our love once again.
Heaven is so hard and easy to think of. It is easy because it is this wonderful place that we all go and we know that the ones that we love are there. BUT it is hard because we cannot see them, feel them, or talk to them.
And that is where faith comes in. We have to have faith that there is a heaven and that our loved one is there and we have to have faith that when our life is over we are going to go to heaven and spend ETERNITY which means forever with the ones that we have lost.
That is the bigger picture. BUT if you choose to start losing faith in God then you are choosing to be separated from God. And choosing to be separated from God means that you are choosing to be away from Him on Earth and in the hereafter. Meaning that heaven may not be waiting for you and you will never get restored back with your loved one. This is not a threat but is the full reality of death, heaven, and God.
To God heaven is our home and therefore when someone dies they are being called home. If you cannot ever choose to forgive God and accept it, then you are telling God that you lack faith to believe that heaven exists. Because if you believed that heaven exists and your loved one is there, then you would realize that they are living in pure and utter perfection and you can only get so down about that.
3. When Someone Dies What To Do – See Miracles In the Small Things
When someone dies what to do, remember to see the miracles in the small things. Just to give a brief background of my cousin who died he had many complications during birth that he was not able to recover from. He also suffered from a rare genetic disorder that only 25 people in the world had none living past the age of 1.
He spent the first two weeks in a coma. The family was told that he would not live past the first night. When he lived past the first night we were then told that he would never open his eyes, and when he opened his eyes, we were told that he would never have brain activity, and when he had brain activity the doctors just stop talking.
We did not get the miracle that we wanted to have him fully healed and restored. Throughout his life we got saw small miracles. We saw that God was still in control and that doctors do not know everything.
It was hard to see how hardened doctors can be toward a child. It was hard to see how they poked and prodded him like he did not have any feelings. The way they treated him like he was just a thing and not a child. And once again that is when we turn to the bigger picture. In this situation, I am so reminded that God is in control because I saw little things and little miracles in the situation.
BUT the bigger picture was that my cousin was suffering, the world was a harsh and a hurtful place for him and maybe for that reason God decided to call him home. Yes, God could have healed him but He didn’t. I don’t know why but what I do not is that we cannot dictate to God how He answers our prayers or what He does.
We just have to trust and have faith that He knows what he is doing and whatever He chooses to do (good or bad) that there is a reason for it. And even when we face difficult times and feeling like we want to lose faith. Never must we forget what God has done for us and the prayers that he did answer. Just because things did not go how we thought this one time does not mean that God is against us or that we should lose faith in him altogether.
4. When Someone Dies What To Do – Have Acceptance
When someone dies what to do, remember you have to accept what is. I wish I would have had closure. I wish there was a time where I could speak to him and he could speak to me and I could just tell him that it was okay. I would tell him that the world was not made up of people that wanted to hurt him and stick him with needles all the time. I wish while he was on these Earth people saw him as a person and not some science project to do experimental treatments on.
I wish I could explain to him how much his family loved him, the life we planned for him, and wanted him to come home. I wish that the three months that he was in the world it was filled with pain. These are the thoughts that SO Many people feel when it comes to losing a loved one.
We wish we could have said more, done more, or did something different. But you can’t. There is nothing that any of us could ever do to go back in time to change what happened, what was said, what was not said, and what was or was not done.
The only thing that we can do is choose to accept reality and move on with our lives. And instead of losing faith in God (which makes the process even harder) choose to move through your pain with God.
For me, it took me to realize the bigger picture. I know my little cousin is happy. I know he knows how much we loved him and the life we wanted for him. I know that he is waiting to see us again to tell us and show us how much he loves us as well. With each day that passes it gets easier. I know I cannot change the past and I have to accept that.
If at this point you are still asking yourself when someone dies what to do then consider this. When I pray to God, I asked God to give me peace and to give him a message for me. I know that God is not sitting around in heaven thinking of ways to hurt me. And I know that fact that my loved one died is not some vendetta against me.
Sometimes I just have to accept that the world is not perfect, not for me, not for my family, and not for anyone. We all have our hardships and we all have our burdens and no one is exempt. But never let the hardship of the WORLD a world in which is only a fraction of your life when we compare it to eternity get you so down and out that you just give up on God completely. God is the only one that can help you through.
If you know someone who could use this information then feel free to share this post with them.
I know that it can be hard, to feel better in a situation like this, which is why you may want to check out my Christian Affirmation Guide, that can help you along the way. Click here.
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