How To Be Celibate & Not Miss Sex

To listen to the blog post: “How To Be Celibate & Not Miss Sex” over reading it just click the play button below.

I want to talk to you about sex. Now before you get too excited I am not going to talk about porn, something dirty, or how to please your man the bedroom but rather the absence of sex also known as celibacy. Before we get started, be sure to check out my video below for my story on how I have been celibate for over 5 years and how I got that way and subscribe to my YouTube channel here.  Because as someone who practices celibacy myself (for many years now) I am saying that I am way happier now then I was having sex.  And I know too many of you, you are wondering how in the world that can be. Which is what this post is about. How to go about that celibate life and making sure that you are happy doing it.

Celibate Life & How To Be Celibate & Why I am happier now

Before I get into my point on how to be celibate, I actually want to take an excerpt from my book Fix It, Jesus! For Single Women Only. The Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide To Dating, Relationships, and Self Improvement (Click here to buy).

In it I said:

When I tell people that I am celibate and have been for the past few years they look at me side-eyed thinking that I am absolutely insane. They don't understand the point. They say, Why would you not want to have sex?, Do you not like sex?, Maybe the men you had sex with did not put it on your right.

You can also click here or the picture below to get the first chapter free.

But can I let you in on something? And this may or may not be your situation BUT out of all the times that I have had sex and the men I have had sex with I am not with anyone one of them NOW. I am not in a relationship with any of them and I am not married to any of them nor have I ever been. So when I really thought about it, why I should continue to give away my body (the most precious thing I have) and none of these men were willing to even give me a ring or a lifetime commitment. So then I thought to myself what would I rather have.  Have sex with boyfriends and men who were not my husband and risk the chance of my not being with them a year or two from now. Where I am stuck feeling used and abused because this was yet another man who got my body while I got nothing much. Or actually, abstain from sex and feel completely fine? I don’t have to worry about if a man will marry me or not. I do not have to worry about if a man is using me for sex. I do not have to worry about getting pregnant or getting an STD. Which is why I feel a thousand times better not having sex than when I did.  If a man sticks around knowing that they are not going to get any from me, then it is safe to say that they have deeper feelings for me and better intentions then just sex.

Me not enjoying sex was not the issue, the issue was that sex just became an act and not something that was special anymore.

Celibate Life & How To Be Celibate ~ As a Christian you are really not supposed to be having sex before marriage.

If you are a reader of my blog then you know that I have a child and I was not impregnated by the Holy Spirit and therefore I think we can safely assume that I have had sex on at least one occasion because I have a child. So I do not want you to feel like I am judging you in any way shape or form because you have had sex before. Because I have had sex before. The world in which we live has made it so acceptable to have sex and think nothing about it even if you are Christian.

I want to take another excerpt from my book for my next point:

But among you, there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)


That hurts, doesn't it? Because deep down inside so many of us want to have sex. We can blame the man for manipulating us to have sex, but oftentimes that is not true. You want to have sex and you do not want to wait until marriage to do it. I know it can be hard to not have sex, but who are you committing yourself to God or the world? 

The way you choose to go on this sex issue defines your answer. You read the Bible verse above. It is self-explanatory so you know what God says. I am not just saying this on my own because I want to ruin all your fun. I am celibate and at first, it was not something that I wanted to do. But I had to do it. Not only because God says so, but also because I wanted to reclaim something that was supposed to be special that should not be given to everyone.

I know this is not something you want to hear. About  NOT having sex. But first, I want you to understand that I am human and I do not want to ruin all your fun. We are all human and the fact of the matter is, is that we WANT to have sex. It feels good, we like it, some of us think that it may make the other person love us more, or we just want to do it JUST BECAUSE. But if God is telling us not to do something then there is a reason for it.  I want you to read my benefits of celibacy blog and my works of the flesh blog to find out some of the main reasons why God tells us that we should not be passing ourselves and our bodies around. We may not see the harm in it, BUT there is harm in it.

For example.  Have you ever heard of what a soul tie is? If not then you can click here to read my blog on everything you need to know about soul ties and also watch my video below.

Celibate Life & How To Be Celibate  ~ Avoid a Soul Tie

According to Jet Mag a soul tie is:

Whether you’re a religious person or not, soul ties is a theory that can be explained and understood by anyone. It’s the idea that certain actions can connect you to a person and cause you to bond in a way that is not easily broken. Typically, soul ties are said to come from sex.

Meaning that when you have sex with people you are leaving a bit of yourself with them and they are living a bit of themselves with you and the consequences of that are not always good. You are literally bonding yourself with everyone you are having sex with, meaning that there can be pieces of you spread around the world for all you know. And the more of you, you give away to people who really don’t matter or who don’t plan to be with you, in the long run, the less of you, you will have to give away to the people who really do matter want to marry you.

Celibate Life & How To Be Celibate ~ What is my point

Don’t cheat yourself and your future spouse out of a part of you that you were too busy giving to other men. How many men have you had sex with that you still keep running back to or keep thinking about long after they are gone? That is the soul tie effect. And when you get married the last thing you want to think about while having sex with your husband is someone else. How many of you got screwed over by a man after having sex with him? And now whenever you meet a man you have all these distrust issues because of what man did to you. That is called the emotional baggage effect.  You will punish your future husband for something that he did not even have anything to do with. That is why it is so important not to keep exchanging your body and your sex thinking that it is no big deal it is a big deal and what you think is not affecting you (having sex with different men) really is. The fact of the matter is that I can go on and on about celibacy.  It goes beyond game playing, playing hard to get, or just not wanting to have sex as a part of some feminist movement.  No, there is a HUGE reason behind it. The reason is that once you understand it, get a grip on it, and practice it then it is a huge benefit for you. Which I talk about in my video below. So if you want to be about that celibate life then get out of your head and stop telling yourself that you NEED sex or that you HAVE to have sex that is simply not true. You need Jesus. You need to get into heaven. You need to meet someone who is going to love you beyond what you can offer them physically that is what you need. Not sex. Yes, it is hard at first. I think I had tried to become celibate several times over the course of several years before I finally succeeded.  But once I did, it is not something that I regret, it is not something that I feel sorry for myself about, but it is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders as I am not a slave to my actual flesh anymore.  Because that is what sex was becoming for me. Which I talk about in the video below when I used to struggle with lust. If you know a woman where she is curious about celibacy then go ahead and share this post with her.