6 Reasons Why The Failures Of Life Actually Make You Successful

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The failures of life can strengthen a person? It seems so backward, doesn’t it? That something so negative as failure can actually make you stronger. Well, it is true and in this post, I am going to tell you how failure can strengthen a person. When it comes to failure the fact of the matter is that:

• Most people are scared to fail.
• Most people don’t want to fail.
• Most people give up after they fail.
• Most people don’t try to do anything because they might fail.  

How can the failures of life make you stronger?

One of the main reasons why the failures in life make you stronger is because, in the counseling field, we use something called resiliency which is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. When people fail and bounce back from it they become resilient. And the pros to becoming resilient are:

• The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.

• A positive view of yourself and confidence in your strengths and abilities.

• Skills in communication and problem-solving.

• The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses. (source). 

I hope you can see where I am going with this. The failures of life can help you because when you fail and you learn to get back up you become more resilient and through becoming more resilient you:

Learn to make better plans so that it is less likely that you will fail the next time. Sometimes when we do things just because we believe that it will work we fail to plan the right way or all the way. But as soon as we fail we learn from our mistakes we make a better plan so that next time we can guarantee our success.

Have more confidence and conviction as you make decisions. Before you fail, you may be scared to step out on faith, but once you fail it eliminates the fear of failure because you have already failed and you start to realize that it didn’t kill you and will give you the confidence you need to continue to make bold moves without the fear of failure.

How can the failures of life make you stronger  ~ Case in point: Me

I am going to tell you how the failures of life have helped me. A failure that I had was my first book. And lord knows it was a failure. I was trying to launch my business, I had just quit my job with the notion that my book was going to take off and be a best-selling book.  It wasn’t. And to be truthful the book was not that great. I could not afford an editor and my writing was not up to par. Plus I did not really build an audience and therefore no one really bought it.

What I thought was going to be the launch of my wonderful business was actually a failure and I had to go right back to a job that I hated. Flash forward years later after the creation of this blog I wrote another book. I knew I had a failed book before and it made me nervous that it would happen again.

But this time I had a brand, an audience, an editor, and I knew my book was amazing. And this time my Single Mom’s Devotional (click here to buy) was a #1 New Release on Amazon. I could have let the failure of my first book stop me and detour me from my purpose. And if I would have given into the fear of failure then I would have never written my new book.

If the failures of life make you stronger then why are most people afraid to fail?

There are so many people out there in the world who have big dreams but are too afraid to go after those dreams because they are afraid to put themselves out there (see my blog here for more on this topic). And so they let the failures of life get the best of them because they are afraid that they might fail and they are afraid that the failure may break them when really that is NOT true.  Unless you die or cease to exist after failing you can always get back up and try again.

“The fear of failing can leave you paralyzed, leave you stuck, and leave you so afraid to do anything that you end up doing nothing at all”

And if you have a fear of failing I want you to remember this. Failing is the same as doing nothing. You will literally get the same exact results. So your mind as well try.  Because when you keep trying even if things don’t turn out the way you like, there is a possibility that after a failure that everything you have ever wanted may actually come true.

If you don’t try at all then there is not even a possibility of what you want coming true. During the process of failing is when you actually learn something and what you learn makes you stronger and gives you the tools that you need to succeed.

“Through each and every failure you learn something that you can take with you to ensure you won’t fail again”

And one thing that I want you to consider. If you go through your entire life afraid to fail or try anything then you will get to the end of your life with a bunch of regrets. Do you ever wonder why people go through a midlife crisis?  It is because when they reach a certain point in their life, they look back and realized that all the dreams that they had for themselves are gone and they see no way to regain what they lost.

As a result, they try to go back and be young again. When they can’t.  The past is over and done with and now they have to live with a bunch of what if’s.  That is why you do not want to be that person. Having fear is normal but do not have so much fear of failing that you do not even try. You only have one life and you would rather spend it doing something even if it means stumbling and bumbling through than doing nothing at all.  Also, check out my video below on how to choose to have faith over being fearful.  And don’t forget to subscribe to my Youtube Channel by clicking here.

How can the failures of life make you stronger ~ Case in point: Me Again

Did you know that after undergrad I started a Master’s program in public administration and then dropped out? And only a few years later I finished a different master’s program in marriage in family therapy, was a part of the National Counseling Honor Society and went on to get a Ph.D. I could have easily said, “oh well I did not make it in one master’s program, it must not be meant to be.” And had I done that I would not be where I am today.

There was some fear that was associated with getting overwhelmed with graduate school again. BUT my desire to succeed was outweighed by my desire to fail. And I learned from my first failures of my master’s program so that I did not repeat them again. I cannot tell you how many times I have failed but then got up bigger and stronger than before. I may not have liked it (the process of failure) but I have learned that failure leads to success and failure is simply a part of the process.

How can the failures of life make you stronger ~ It is better to try

When I say that it is better to try and fail but never fail to try is just a figurative way of speaking.  No one wants to put in hard work only to fall short. When I say try and fail but never fail to try that means that you are always going to work and move toward your goal and even if you get set back you understand that a setback is not a total failure.  And at the very least you are not wasting time doing anything. To do and to fail still means that you are doing something and that is much better than sitting there and doing nothing (Also check out my blog on you only get one life).

Make up in your mind that you would rather try and fail than not give anything and still fail. Because when you try and you work really hard at something you are going to get something out of it.  When this life is over wouldn’t you rather say that you left this life with no regrets, as opposed to you just sitting around too afraid to move because you were too afraid to fail?

I never want to look back on my life and think about a whole bunch of should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. And the possibility of even one of your dreams coming true should outweigh the fear of failure. And it should be enough to allow you to keep on trying despite coming short. It is through this process that we learn that the ultimate strength of an individual comes from them getting rid of their fear of failure.

So as long as you are trying then you are moving toward something. And you can learn a lesson even in your failures that will teach you to get up and try again.  Using the lessons from your failures to ensure that you do not keep making the same mistakes.

How can the failures of life make you stronger ~ Case in point: Me…yet again

I remember when I started this whole blogging thing several years ago back in 2012 and my first site was an EPIC fail. All of it fails. The look, the branding, my writing, my pictures, the name, I mean you think of it and all of it was an epic fail. But as I failed, instead of giving up I learned from my failures, from my mistakes, and I took all of the things that I did wrong from that site and made them right with this site.

Not only did I go on to run a successful website that I set up myself no less. I gained more traffic, my writing got better, and now I am making money from it whereas I was not making anything in my first blog. My point is, even though I spent years on that first blog that was a total failure. When I relaunched I relaunched with a purpose and relaunched to win. And from the very beginning of me starting this site, I began to see the success that my first blog never saw. Because that failure made, me stronger, and that failure made me better.  You can also see a video of my story below.

So remember just because you fail does not mean you should give up, it does not mean that are not destined to do that specific thing, and it does not mean that you are a failure in life. All it means is that you made a mistake, you need to learn from your mistakes, and once master these then you will have success.

• Oprah Winfrey was publicly fired from her first television job as an anchor in Baltimore for getting “too emotionally invested in her stories.”

• Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor felt he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

• Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts multiple times.

• Vera Wang failed to make the 1968 US Olympic figure-skating team. Then she became an editor at Vogue.

• Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything.”

• As a child, Albert Einstein had some difficulty communicating and learning in a traditional manner.

• J.K. Rowling was a single mom living off welfare when she began writing the first “Harry Potter” novel.

• Stephen King grew so frustrated over his attempt to write the novel “Carrie” that he threw away the entire early draft (source)

All of these seeming failures were really just momentary setbacks. And that is why learning how can the failures of life make you stronger is important so that you just don’t get caught up in the failures but learn from them. If all of these people have given up after their failure then they would not have gone anywhere and let their failures steal their purpose.  Everyone fails but it is such a victory when you can find a way to use those failures as your strength. If you know someone who is facing a failure then please feel free to share this post with them.