Single Woman’s Challenge Day 3: What I Don’t Want In a Husband

The Single Christian Woman’s Challenge Day 3.  If you want to see all of the challenges for the whole month click here to see the post from the Barn Princess.

Today’s Challenge is

Day 3: What You Don’t Want

Write down the 3 things that you absolutely can’t stand in a future husband. What are your deal breakers when it comes to dating someone or the person that you want to marry?

In case you missed it, day 2 focused on writing three things down that you wanted in the husband.  You can click here to see my post on that. 

Today’s challenge is to focus on writing down the things I don’t want.  I feel that it is just as important to write down the things that you do want in your husband as well as realizing what you don’t want.  That way you can weed out the relationships that you don’t want to get into, by recognizing the characteristics that does not fit with yours.

Without further delay, let’s get into it.

Number 1: A Cheater

I cannot stand a cheater.  I cannot reiterate that enough.  I know there are some women that can forgive their boyfriends and husbands for cheating on them BUT I am not one of those women.  To prove it, when I lived with my ex I had a suspicion that he was cheating on me.  I went to great lengths to find out and sure enough it was true.  I tried for forgive.  I really did.  But in the back of my mind was always him cheating.  My trust was violated and there is no coming back from that.  It takes a lot for me to trust you and when you break that trust, it is gone.  And every time I kissed him, hug him, or was in intimate with him in anyway; I thought about him cheating, and how he probably did all that with her.

The Bible teaches us that if one person commits adultery in a marriage then that is grounds for a divorce.  I see why.  It is such a violation of trust that some people, myself included, cannot recover from that.  Which is why cheating is number one on my list.

Number 2: A Liar

People who lie really irritate me.  Once again he is more than likely a personality thing.  When a man lies to me.  I KNOW that he is lying.  Often times I will find out the truth and then ask him, without telling him I know the truth, just to see what he says.  I feel that if you are lying then you have something to hide from me, and if you are going to be my husband then there should be no secrets.  I feel that lies are an insult on my intelligence and you feeling like you can get over on me.  Which by the way, you can’t!  I ALWAYS find out when you are lying.  And once I do, it is really hard to come back from that.  It all boils down to trust, if I cannot trust you then there is nothing to build on.veteran husband

Number 3: Someone who lacks motivation.

I would say this is one of the main reasons, when I go out one a date with someone that I never see them again.  A lack of motivation encompasses a lot of things.  A man that does not work, who does not want to work, who is comfortable where they are and does not want to move up, who does have any long term goals or plans, or a man that complains as to why he is never getting anywhere and never does anything about it.  I personally am a motivated in
dividual.  I want to go higher and I am always setting hard goals for myself to reach.  I feel this is what makes life great.  By setting the bar so high then you reach it, you feel accomplished.  If a man does not have that or even want that, it is a major turn of.

An honorable mention in this category is a man who lacks the ability to have in intelligent conversation.  I do not want to talk about sex or what I am wearing underneath my clothes (see my blog here on what really turns women on).  I want to have stimulating conversation.  One of the best ways to my heart is for a man to do and say something that blows my mind.  I already think I am intelligent, (don’t judge me), so if you say something that is intellectually stimulating to me and is teaching me something….that is what I like.

Each woman is different.  Your deal breakers may not be my deal breakers.  I would love to hear your thoughts about what you do not want in a husband!

And in case you missed it, read Day 1 of the Single Woman Challenge: Think like a Queen to Get Your King.

About Sophia Reed (314 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at

2 Comments on Single Woman’s Challenge Day 3: What I Don’t Want In a Husband

  1. I am 100% with you on your dealbreakers especially cheaters eww. I would also add bad hygiene as a big no no ie not taking care of teeth, or jacked up feet lol I can’t.

    • lol I did not even think of that. BUT YES. Bad hygiene is a no go. But at least you can fix that with a dentist and a shower. Personality defects you cannot fix.

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