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I Never Knew What True Love Was Until I had A Child.

For people who are single or even single mothers, we waste so much time trying to find love, keep love, and stay in love.  It was not until recently that I was remained that love is all around us.  I have come to think that if we are not to able to recognize love in our every day lives, when we get into relationships how can we be able to recognize true love when we find it?

According to the Bible

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”1 Corinthians 13:4-864549777_l

I can think of all of my past relationships and can say that I have not encountered anything that was describe in this passage.  I wrecked my brain to try to find out if this type of love is even real.  I know that God loves me and that I love God, but I am not ashamed to admit that I sometimes I have frustrations with God that does not reflect the Biblical form of love.  I will put this on myself, and my struggle with understanding God’s purpose and how I get frustrated with him when He does not give me what I want.

Not getting side tracked, but I still thought about this perfect idea of love and I quickly realize that there was someone I love.  A love that is a perfect  and this is my son.  Do not misunderstand me.  I am not saying that I love my son more than God, but what I am saying is that my love for my son is closer to something that I can feel and understand as being true love.

Every time I look at him, every time I see him, every time I speak to him…. I love him.  It was through this understanding of my love for him that I began to understand what true love is.

This may be a a reach but I think sometimes God gave us the ability to have children just so we can understand or begin to understand the love that God has for us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Just like this verse, I am convinced that nothing in this world is going to separate my love from my son.  It does not mean I am okay  if he is doing something wrong, bad, or disobeying.  Even though I may rebuke him, as God often does to us, I still love him.  The rebuke that I give him is often for his own good.

Before I go off in a tangent there are a few points that I want to prove by what I just said.

The first is that so many people look and search for love in all the wrong places.  Then they get all down out and super depressed when they cannot find it.  It is okay, I used to be that way.

The point I am trying to make is that no matter who you are there is someone out there who loves you and someone who you love.  It could be your kids, parents, family, grandmother, or even your dog!

It is much more beneficial to look at our surroundings and be content in the wonderful types of love that is around us as oppose to searching for something, not finding it, and then getting mad because we feel that we are unlovable. This idea alone causes us to beat ourselves up, sink down into a needy depression state, and can even cause us to run after people who do not love us just so that we do not feel lonely.

If you are a person that cannot find a person that loves you or that you love.  Then take heart, God loves you.  Even though it may be hard to see or understand it all the time.  He does and that should give you peace.  If it doesn’t then perhaps you should try to grow in your relationship and understanding with God so that you can better understand His love.

Love does not mean getting what you want.  Just as I mentioned that I am a mother.  I am not going to let my son eat junk food all day, draw on my wall, and just simply be bad because this is what he wants to.

It may make him happy to do these things but that does not mean he should do them.  How many of us can relate to this aspect with God.  Because you do not have more money, are not  married, or because you do not have the things you have prayed for then you feel that God does not love.  Or better yet, when you are doing something crazy and you reap the consequences for it, you want to say God does not love you because you got fired, went to jail, got into trouble for something that YOU DID.

God loves you, but He is not going to allow you to go around doing whatever it is that you want to do just because He loves you.  And if you base weather God loves you or not on what you perceive you are or are not getting, then you have this whole Christian thing wrong.

I use to go into a self pity party about how lonely I was and how I did not have anyone to love me or love any one, and went on for hours, days, weeks, years, about the same nonsense.

All the while the most perfect love was right in front of my face.  God and a more tangible type of love my son.

I am so sure that it was not until I could better understand what love is and is not that God could not bring me love.  I needed to be able to recognize the love around me before I could make an attempt of trying to be in a romantic situation with someone else.  This is probably why I have had the most horrific relationships.  I did not understand or recognize love nor did the person I was with.

The end result was two people hurting one another and passing it off as a real relationship.  Then when we did not feel we were getting the love that we needed from one another, the relationship was over.

I repeated this pattern many times, only to end in my frustration.

My point is this.  There is love in many ways shapes and form.  It is best to find, recognize, and appreciate these types of love and when we do we will find a new form of being content.

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About Sophia Reed (295 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at sophiareedsbook@gmail.com

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