To listen to the blog post “12 Dating Online Safety For Single Moms” over reading it then click the play button below.
As a single mom, it can be so much easier to date online. Due to time, you don’t have to find a babysitter, and you can do it at the convenience of your own schedule.
But you still must not forget to practice online dating tips for single moms that will keep you safe. The last thing you want is to get involved with some crazy psychopath online stalker and then bring them around your kids.
That is why I have come with the best tips for single mom online dating so that you can make the most of your single mom online dating experience. Be sure to check out my video below where I spoke about an actual story of a woman who got hurt on a professional online dating site. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel by clicking here.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #1
I am a single mom online dating participant. SO I GET YOU. From single mom to single mom, I feel it is my duty to let you know that even though you are a single mom and you are ready to date, do not throw all common sense out of the window. It is online dating after all and there are some crazies out there.
I have met some crazy people out there through my own online dating experiences. But yet I was smart enough to handle people with precaution and not be so trusting and inviting them into my life. I can only imagine if some of the online people I met in person knew where I lived what a train wreck that would be.
Now, what makes me an expert. Well, I have a Ph.D. in human behavior, an MS in marriage and family therapy, and I am a National Certified Counselor. Below are my top five tips.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #2
When your dating with kids, your number 1 goal should be to keep your kids safe. I know you want to share your kids with the whole world, but until you are sure about the one you are dating online it is best to keep them out of it.
These means do not send personal pictures of your kids your anyone you are talking to online and no posting any pictures in your online profile of your children. Do not tell them where your kids go to school, where they are going to be, or their full names.
With the way the world is going today you could be talking to a kidnapper or sex trade trafficker. This may be extreme, but it is better to be safe than sorry.
True Story: I talked to a man online that was a single dad as soon as we exchanged numbers (we had NOT ever met in person) he sent me pictures of his child and I thought it was weird AND a bad judgment on his part.
He probably thought it would make me more attracted to him but NO. Don’t pimp your kid out to turn on a female. He did not know me I could have been crazy and by the way, we never even met in person.
Do not be one of those moms that just pass your child’s picture around to every Tom, Dick, and Harry online because you want them to know you are a mom. You can just tell him that you are a mom and that is good enough.
These are also the same suggestions I give in my video for single moms on when to introduce their boyfriend to their children. For more on knowing when it is the best time to introduce a man that your dating to your kids.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #3
Anytime you get ready to meet a date you found through online dating, it is a good idea not to tell them where you live and to not let them pick you up at your place for the first couple of dates. There are a few reasons for this.
- First, your kids are there. You never want someone to meet your kids too soon. In case the date does not work out and your kids meet them, it is going to lead to confusion for your kids.
- You do not want every online date you go out with to be a revolving door in and out of your house for your kids to see. Also, see my blog on when to introduce your boyfriend to your kids.
- Secondly, like rule number one, when dating online you do not know what you are getting. You do not want someone you do not know to know where you live and have open access to your children or to you in case the date goes terribly wrong and you never want to see him again. If he knows where you live he can pop up to your house freely.
- Therefore it is better to wait until after a few dates and you trust the person before telling them or showing them where you live. Until then, always meet at a public place.
Also, check out my tips on how to spot BS on a date. The faster you can spot BS from a man you are dating the less it waste your time.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #4
It may sound like I am being overly cautious but you should not go to their house on the first date. There may be a torture chamber waiting for you and you may never be seen or heard from again.
As a single mother, not only do you have to protect your children from people they don’t know but protect yourself from people you don’t know so you can be around your kids, it would be terrible for them if their mother went out on a date and then she never returned. Think of your kid’s safety, but also think of your safety as their mom.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #5
Once you meet someone online there is no big rush to meet them the next day. You are allowed to take time to be able to converse with them through the chat, IM, email, and through the phone, in fact, it is suggested. One thing you do not want to do is meet an internet date after an internet date and be disappointed.
There are always things you can find out by simply getting to know the person that you are talking to, that can indicate they are not the one. You can also save yourself a lot of headache by finding out about the person your talking to beforehand. This way you can figure out if it is even worth trying to meet them in person.
As a bonus, you can choose a luxury dating site that is better to meet quality men, that way when you are getting to know them online you know that you are getting to know better quality men. For example, Luxy is a dating site for professional singles and you can check out my review below.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #6
Even though you may want to be in a relationship now, you have to stay calm and remain objective. If you are too pushy when you go online, you are bound to link up with someone who just wants sex or is not interested in anything serious. Or you may also run into a good catch, but your neediness may run them away. So just relax.
Online dating can be fun and rewarding, it can also be a complete and utter nightmare. And being a single mother you have to take additional precautions. You have to be the determining factor to see which one you choose. By following the above tips you can make your online dating experience a positive and safe one. For both yourself and your children.
Expert 2 Courtesy Of SheKnows (Click here for the full post but here are the top three tips).
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #7
No man needs to know your last name, the company name you work at, or any details you would not give a telephone solicitor. “Legitimate online daters will understand the reasons for doing this and will be doing the same themselves.
Also, when you decide to give someone your phone number online, use your cell, rather than your home or work phone. If things don’t work out, cell phone numbers are much easier to change.” Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., aka The Love Doctor
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #8
I had several men tell me story after story only to find out they were untrue. Even though I had reservations and hesitations in talking to them, I continued. In the end, the lies were blown up and I was left feeling like a fool. If I had followed my gut, to begin with, I would have avoided that added frustration.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #9
Though one bad experience does not mean you have to shut it down completely, be prepared to walk away when you need to. Internet dating and the seeming ease of talking to people when you are most vulnerable can lead to an addictive type of situation where it is hard to shut it down.
Though I never met 90 percent of the people I talked to, I found myself wanting to hear from them. When I found myself checking messages when my kids were home, it was time to stop. And stop completely. Walking away can sometimes be what you need to gain some perspective.
Expert 3 Courtesy Of Esme (Click here to see the full list but here are the top three)
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #10
Don’t go on a date if the conversation or texting makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s not impolite to cancel if something just doesn’t feel right. Trust your gut, and remember that this person is a stranger to you.
I have a video on how to spot a wolf in sheep clothing. Because I have been on some bad dates where I have had to walk away. Watch my video below.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #11
Do some research. If you continue to date someone and you feel you need more information, it’s OK to use a background-check service. One good one is the CORE Security and Investigations Group and Consultants, which can give you both criminal and financial background checks.
Expert Dating Online Safety Tip #12
Do not send out sexual pictures or videos to people with whom you are just starting to chat. It’s not just the person you are dating who can end up seeing them. A child or a new girlfriend could access them by mistake, and the results can be disastrous for all involved.
Here are all of my single mom online dating tips, to help you date responsibly as a single mom.
If you know a fellow single mom who is dating online and needs this information then share it with them.
Last but not least if you are a single mom then you need my book “Fix it Jesus. For Single Moms Only. The Straightforward No-Nonsense Guide To Passion Purpose and Prayer.” Click here to find out more about why you need this book. And if you still don’t believe me then sign up for my email list and get the first chapter free. Click here to sign up or the picture below.
Great tips! I would like to point out the 4th. In my experience it pays off to take your time and just talk to the guy. On the platform you met, that is. Not on messenger, whatsapp, or gtalk. I was always wondering, why men as soon as I say hello invite me to some other platform. No, I won’t give you all data right away, talk to me right here, right now! What happens is most of them impatiently ditched me. Wonderful! I wanted to be with someone who’s respectful, friendly and not pushy anyway. So, tip no. 4 is actually a test for potential daters and usually they fall on the exam. Don’t be sad, though, you don’t want them anyway.