I’m Pregnant Now What! This is the thought that are going through so many women’s braind as they are faced with an unexpected pregnancy. This topic is near and dear to my heart because about 10 years ago I was one of those women who was in the “I’m pregnant now what” category. Before I continue on with my advice as a single mother who is a single mother in every since of the word I want to offer you some encouraged.
Just because you are faced with an unplanned pregnancy does not mean that your life is over. My son turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me and I could not imagine my life without him. If I had not had my son I may have not gone back to school to get my Master’s degree or my PhD. When you become a mother, ever underestimate your strength and what you can do or are willing to do to provide a great life for your child. You can read my blog here to see my full story on how I become a single mom.
When I say my son changed me that is not just something that I am saying because mother’s are supposed to say that. I am saying it because it is true, and loving a child is unlike anything in the world (Click here to read my blog for more on that topic).
I always promised myself that if I could I would want to speak to women who find themselves in an I’m pregnant now what situation. Despite the fear you may have or are feeling, getting pregnant is not the end of the world. I do not care if it is just you; and the child’s father told you that he will never speak to you again if you don’t get an abortion. Never have fear of being pregnant and never let someone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do. I personally don’t believe in abortion (you can read my blog here on why). So that option will not be one of my suggestions on how to deal with your situation.
However, I will say I do not know everyone’s personal situation so I cannot judge others, it is just not my place. You have to live with the decision not me. I do not want women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy to get so caught up in the fact that a pregnancy is not what they wanted, and they rush and do something they may regret. Therefore, before making any action you need to decide what the best course of action for you is. And make a decision that you know you will be able to live with.
I’m Pregnant Now What? How To Cope With An Unexpected Pregnancy
I’m Pregnant Now What? ~ Should I keep My Baby
If you are having a baby and do not know if you should keep the baby, you may want to consider a few things. Do you have a place to live, do you have a support system, do you have a job, are you taking care of yourself? Even if you do not have it all figured out now, you have time to figure it out. For example, when I got pregnant I worked 12 hours shifts at work which made it difficult to find childcare. That was something minor that I had to figure out and I was able to by the time I had my son.
But if you have a big issues that you know cannot be fixed by the time you have your child then you need to be real with yourself. Form a plan as soon as possible on how this will work, how you will provide for your child, who will watch your child. The more you plan on how you will do things the more comfortable you will feel on what your post baby life would look like. I never went into a situation blind. Being a single mom can be hard, but it works better if you plan what your single mom life will look like as oppose to just being pregnant having your child, and then at the hospital you’re crying because you don’t know what to do. Be proactive and not reactive.
Also before deciding if you are going to keep your baby, you need to have a realistic expectation of what being a single mom is. Being a single mom is joyful, but your child is not going to be there to entertain you. Being a mother means that nothing is about you, it is all about the child. The child doesn’t know anything other than what they want. They cry because their hungry or because their wet. They do not care if it is 2am in the morning. So understand that becoming a mother is a selfless act.
I’m Pregnant Now What?Teenage Pregnancy
I wanted to create a section for pregnant teenagers. Being a pregnant teen does not mean your life is over. I am a product of a teenage pregnancy and my mother joined the military, retired from the military after 20 years, and is working a very good job. She also has a master’s degree among like 3 other degrees that she has. So teenage pregnancy does not mean your life is automatically going to such. As a young mother, you have to determine if you have a support system, is someone willing to help you, are you mature enough to be a mom at a teen, you have to sacrifice a lot so be aware of that. You have to get a job, possibly take night classes to get a high school degree or GED, or like my mother the military is always a good option. But you have to be mature enough to make those decisions and realize that by becoming a mom it is not all about you anymore.
I’m Pregnant Now What? ~ Consider Adoption
There are so many people who want to be parents and cannot have children that would love your child, and could give them a good life. It is better to give a child a chance at life as oppose to no life at all. And there are several options for adoption. Open, where you can still see the child, a semi-open where you get pictures of the child but may not have a full relationship with the child, and closed if you just want the child to go about their life and have no involvement with them what so ever. If you chose adoption, chose early. That way you can make an informed decision about where you want your child to go and who you want them to be placed with. I think it is the most selfless act as a mother to say
“I can’t take care of you, I may not even want you, but I want to make the best decision for you.”
I’m Pregnant Now What?How Do I Decide
Whatever option is right for you have to be the one to make that decision. Never make a rush decision because you may make a decision that you regret. While you are pregnant, get medical care, read books, and chose to be happy during your pregnancy. Tell your parents or family about your pregnancy and no matter what their reaction is, you still have to live with your decision. My mom hated that I was pregnant. Now she loves my son, beyond anything else. I chose to keep my son because it was what I wanted. And even if no one supported me I was still going to choose what I wanted because he was my child, and I have to live with my decision not anyone else. I did what I felt was best. AND I changed my life to make sure could be a good mother to him. Once you have your head on straight, think about what you want to do, what your life will be like, and if you can live with the decision you make. Then work toward making that decision, whatever it may be.
A secondary options if to go to a counselor. It is helpful to speak to a pregnancy counselor that can help you make a good decision or can help you plan for whatever decision you choose to make.
An unplanned pregnancy can be shocking but do not let it ruin your world. I have said it and I will say it again, my son is my everything. I cannot imagine life without him. Don’t look at it as a curse because it could be your blessing.