I’m pregnant, now what. There are many women out there who experience an unplanned pregnancy. I was one of those women, when I found myself pregnant with my son I didn’t know what to do or what to think. But my son turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me and I could not imagine my life without him. You can read my blog here to hear my while story on how I found myself single and pregnant.
I won’t go into full detail about my experience because you can read my blog above to find out about that. But when I say my son changed me that is not just something that I am saying because mother’s are supposed to say that. I am saying it because it is true, and loving a child is unlike anything in the world (see my blog here for more on that topic).
I always promised myself that if I could I would want to speak to women who find themselves in an accidental pregnancy. Despite the fear you may have or are feeling, getting pregnant is not the end of the world. I do not care if it is just you; and the child’s father told you that he will never speak to you again if you don’t get an abortion. Never have fear of being pregnant and never let someone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do. I personally don’t believe in abortion (you can read my blog here on why).
But I do not know everyone’s personal situation so I cannot judge others, it is just not my place. They have to live with the decision not me. I do not want women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy to get so caught up in the fact that a pregnancy is not what they wanted, and they rush and do something they may regret. No matter what you believe, abortions can have consequences on your body and on your mental health. Therefore, before making any action you need to decide what the best course of action for you is.
Should I keep My Baby
If you are having a baby and do not know if you should keep the baby, you may want to consider a few things. Do you have a place to live, do you have a support system, do you have a job, are you taking care of yourself? Even if you do not have it all figured out now, you have time to figure it out. But if you are trying to determine if you should keep your baby you should at least form a plan as soon as possible. The more you plan on how you will do things the more comfortable you will feel on what your post baby life would look like. After the shock, I planned everything when I was pregnant. I also knew that I had to switch jobs because I was working 12-16 hours a day. I never went into a situation blind. Being a single mom can be hard, but it works better if you plan what your single mom life will look like as oppose to just being pregnant having your child, and then at the hospital you’re crying because you don’t know what to do. Be proactive and not reactive.
Also before deciding if you are going to keep your baby, you need to have a realistic expectation of what being a single mom is. Being a single mom is joyful, but your child is not going to be there to entertain you. Being a mother means that nothing is about you, it is all about the child. The child doesn’t know anything other than what they want. They cry because their hungry or because their wet. They do not care if it is 2am in the morning. So understand that becoming a mother is a selfless act.
I wanted to create a section for pregnant teenagers. Being a pregnant teen does not mean your life is over. I am a product of a teenage pregnancy and my mother joined the military, retired from the military after 20 years, and is working a very good job. She also has a master’s degree. Even if you get pregnant young it is not the end of your life. As a young mother, you have to determine if you have a support system, is someone willing to help you, if you have a job, even if you don’t have a job, like my mother the military is always a good option.
I am not going to tell you to get an abortion, it is not what I believe. But I will ask you to consider other options. Adoption is one of those options. There are so many people who want to be parents and cannot have children that would love your child, and could give them a good life. It is better to give a child a chance at life as oppose to no life at all. And there are several options for adoption. Open, where you can still see the child, a semi-open where you get pictures of the child but may not have a full relationship with the child, and closed if you just want the child to go about their life and have no involvement with them what so ever. If you chose adoption, chose early. That way you can make an informed decision about where you want your child to go and who you want them to be placed with. I think it is the most selfless act as a mother to say
“I can’t take care of you, I may not even want you, but I want to make the best decision for you.”
How Do I Decide
Whatever option is right for you have to be the one to make that decision. Never make a rush decision because you may make a decision that you regret. While you are pregnant, get medical care, read books, and chose to be happy during your pregnancy. Tell your parents or family about your pregnancy and no matter what their reaction is, you still have to live with your decision. My mom hated that I was pregnant. Now she loves my son, beyond anything else. I chose to keep my son because it was what I wanted. And even if no one supported me I was still going to choose what I wanted because he was my child, and I have to live with my decision not anyone else. I did what I felt was best. Once you have your head on straight, think about what you want to do, what your life will be like, and if you can live with the decision you make. Then work toward making that decision, whatever it may be.
An unplanned pregnancy can be shocking but do not let it ruin your world. I have said it and I will say it again, my son is my everything. I cannot imagine life without him. Don’t look at it as a curse because it could be your blessing.