Being celibate is hard but being celibate in a relationship can be even harder. I have been celibate for a couple of years now (click here to read why). I remember becoming celibate was tugging on my heart for a long time before I actually became celibate. And even during the course of me trying to be celibate I messed up many times. It was not until I made up my mind that I was going to be celibate until I got married that I was able to really stick to it. I am not virgin by any means, I do have a son. So unless I got impregnated by the Holy Spirit it is safe to say I have had sex before.
I am not going to get too much, into why I stopped having sex because I do have a blog on that. But more so how I maintain my celibacy.
So Here Are 4 Tips On Being Celibate In a Relationship
Don’t put yourself in bad situations.
Like I said before I tried to be celibate so many times. But the times that I ended up messing up is because I put myself in a situation where I could mess up. So just so we are clear some of the things that you should stay clear of are:
- A Netflix and chill night. Unless you have a group of people around you.
- Spending the night over each other’s house.
- Laying in the bed together.
- Getting drunk around each other that may compromise your decision-making.
- Going over each other’s house late at night.
- Walking around in lingerie, at night, in his room, next to his bed. I know it seems like common sense but you never know.
No messing around and doing things that could lead to sex.
I know it can sound like you cannot do anything. But if you put yourself in these positions, you need to be strong enough to face the temptation. And if you are not strong enough then you will mess up time and time again. So that is why just don’t put yourself in that position. If you want to be celibate, you have to be intentional about it. So do not lie to yourself saying you can just lay in the bed and cuddle…naked, knowing that it will lead to sex.
Find someone with similar beliefs.
A lot of men will tell you that being celibate in a relationship is impossible. These are the same time of men that will not respect your decision to be celibate and pressure you to have sex. If you are celibate and the man keeps trying to have sex with you or talks dirty to you all the time. He is not helping anything and eventually he will wear you down. If someone is not supportive of you abstaining from sex then you need to question if it is meant for you to be with that person. Your body is your own, you should not be pressured by anyone to have sex if you don’t want to.
God was the one that convicted me to be celibate in the first place. And it is prayer that helps me stay that way. God is going to talk to you about it and remind you why He wanted you to become celibate in the first place. God will also remove any temptation that you may be having will you feel you may slip up.
Look Up Horror Stories and STD’s
So this may sound insane, but it works for me. The last thing I want to do is get an STD or something I cannot get rid of. So whenever you are tempted look up pictures of STD’s or stories about how people contracted AIDS, and it will be a reminder that your life is not worth playing Russian roulette with. That there are too many diseases going on in this world for you to just give yourself up freely. That is better to be with the person you marry for the rest of your life than it is to sleep with someone who may not be around a few months later, and they leave you a present in the form of an STD to deal with. When you look at STD’s that you cannot get rid of and that may effect your re-productive health being celibate in a relationship does not seem like the worst thing in the world.
After reading these tips I really hope that they help you. But the biggest tip that I can give you is to commit to being celibate In a relationship if that is what you want to do. God knows your hear and he knows if you really want to be celibate and are dedicated to it or if you are just faking the funk. Beyond anything remember that being celibate in a relationship will help grow your relationship. It will make you try to form a deeper connection with your partner that last beyond sex. And those are the relationships that last.