The key to raising a son is to raise him to be the type of man that you want to marry. As a woman I have encountered some pretty bad men, relationships, and dates. As a single mother when I had my son I constantly hear that it takes a man to raise a man. My son’s father is not in my son’s life (Click here to read my story). And at this point I do not think that it is a bad thing. He is not a man himself, so to think of him trying to teach my son how to be a man will only make things worse. Not trying to throw shade, but it is a truth I have come to accept. And also as a single mother where the world tells you, you cannot raise I man. I must learn how to raise a man.
As a woman or a should I say a single mother, I do feel like I can teach my son to be a man. Although I am not a man, I am a woman who knows how women want to be treated by a man. And despite popular belief that counts for a lot. Because I learned that the key to raising a son is for him to be the type of man I want to marry. Therefore, I am raising my son to be a good husband to a woman one day.
Over the weekend my grandmother was in town and she sat and watched how my son was helping my mother make up the bed. She told my son that he was going to make a woman a great husband one day because of how helpful he was. And as a mother, this makes me proud. My son is only 8, but on a regular basis I tell him how he should open up the doors for a
woman, how he should complement a woman, or how he should never hit a girl at school even if she hits him first because boys don’t hit girls. Once when we were at the store I saw a really nice engagement ring and told my son that when he gets older he needs to work really hard to be able to buy his future wife a nice ring, because a ring is a symbol of a promise of marriage. And he should want to put his best foot forward when asking a woman to marry him.
I often tell myself that when my son is old enough to get married that I want his future wife to come up to me and thank me personally for raising a son that she is proud to call her husband. No he may not have a father in life but he has a really good mother, that will do anything to make sure that he turns out to be the type of man that a woman only dreams about.
As a woman who has personally dated men from single mothers, there were times when I wondered how did they become such bad men. Their excuse was always the same “ I did not have a father.” Well that is no excuse to me. Because they had a mother, and out of respect for the woman who did raise them, I would think that they would go above and beyond to treat a woman right. Not repeat the same mistakes as their absent father.
So I say to you and ask all the mother’s out there, to start raising a son to be the type of man you would want to marry. My son is polite, my son tries to give me back massages, my son opens my car door, my son listens to me when I speak, my son knows that it is not okay to ever hit or put his hands on a woman even if she hits him first, and my son wants to help out with the house work.
The Bible teaches us
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
So although my son is only 8. By me teaching him the proper way to treat a woman at a young age, I am confident that he will not depart from the ways I am teaching him. I am confident that he will also remember the lessons that were taught to him at a young age. So even if I never find a good man, it brings me a lot of job to know that at least I am raising one. God gave me an opportunity in raising a son so I must do the best that I can at it. Lord knows the world does not need another man who is about nothing.