How To Reach Out To An Old Friend On Social Media

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Today is The Single’s Woman’s Challenge Day 13. 

Today’s Challenge is.

Day 13: SM Friends

Reach out to someone you only know through social media and invite them to hang out with you. Lunch. Dinner. See a movie. Whatever. Just reach out and let that SM friend know that you want to be real friends too.

You must be weary with reaching out to random people on social on media and asking them to hang out with you.  You do not want to end up in the missing section portion of the news.  What I do recommend is if you are anything like me, you have a bunch of old friends on your social media pages.  You know them personally from high school, college, or where ever…..but the last time you spoke to them was 10 years ago.

So I propose an alternative.  Instead of reaching out to some strange person that you do not know and going out with them, reach out to someone on your social media that you do know and play catch up.  Most recently I reached out to a few friends from high school.  One has three kids now and the last time I talked to her was at her wedding.  It was nice to play catch up and make plans to see each other in the future.   Another friend that I reached out to is in the process of getting a divorce, it was also nice to speak to her and offer words of encouragement.

Status updates do not tell the entire story, sometimes you need to reach and really see what is going on with people.  I can recall a few years back in the days of Myspace an old high school friend reached out to me.  A guy of course.  MySpace was actually how we got back How To Reach Out To An Old Friend On Social Mediaconnected! He was in the Army and we even stayed in contact through Myspace while he was in Iraq.  I received the last message I would ever receive from him while he was in Iraq through MySpace.  Because he died there.  I was sad, but also grateful that I had found him again and we had been in contact with each other for a few years before he died.  Reaching out to old friends can be good because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

The point is that reaching out to someone in social media can be a good thing.  It can give you an opportunity to catch up with someone that you have not seen in a while.  But there are some people you want to reach out to on social media BUT need to stay away from.  For example, that ex that you know did you dirty in a relationship.  He may fall under the “I do not need to reach out to him in social media pile.” Or the boyfriend that you are still attracted to but he now has a wife, that is someone you need not reach out to on social media either.  Before reaching out to anyone you need to first determine if that person needs to be in your life in the first place.  Some people are meant to be kept at a distance.

Now that you have gotten all of that out of the way you may be wondering how to reach out to someone in social media.  And I am here to help give you some pointers.

Reach someone that wants to hear from you.

If someone has an active retraining order against you or told you they never ever wanted to see your face as long as they lived.  It may be wise to choose not to reach out to that person.  They more than likely do NOT want to hear from you and it will just open up old wounds if you do reach out to them.

Do not be so thirsty

Even if you really like someone or really want to talk to someone, do not be so thirsty in trying to reach out to them.  Just keep the conversation light and casual.  Do not tell them how much you missed them, you loved them, and have stalked their Facebook profile for the last 5 years to see what they were doing.  That is scary.  And if they did not have a retraining order on you before they may if you come across too strong.

Keep it Casual

If you want to reach out to someone keep it short and sweet.  Say hello and a brief explanation to what you wanted.  Skip writing the full length dissertation when you reach out to someone.  No one wants to read a five page long essay if they have not heard from you in a while. Keep it light and let the conversation grow from there.

Don’t Take It Personal

If someone does not contact you back, then do not take it personal.  There may be several reasons why they did not contact you back.  Some reasons may have to do with you and some may not have to do with you.  Whatever the reason, do not take it personal.  You went this long without talking to the person, so I think you will be fine.

What Purpose Do They Serve

It is not that you are using people but you need to know what the reason is you are reaching out to someone and where this would go.  It may be innocent and you just may want to reach out to see how someone is doing.  But if you are reaching out to a married man, knowing that he still likes you then you should not reach out.  Nothing good can come from that situation.  So before you reach you.  Question the purpose it would serve and where you see everything going if you were to reconnected with this person.

Here are some unique ways to reach out to someone on social media.

  • Reach out to an old friend on your social media page.
  • Reach out to someone that is going crazy on their social media page (we all have them) and offer them a words of encouragement.
  • If you have someone that is just your social media friend but you never met them in real life. Then reach out to them and try to get to know them.
  • Or just for kicks reach out to an old crush that is your social media friend.  You know the one that you liked but they were never aware of it.  You never know what may happen. But do not reach out if they are married. 


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  1. This is such a motivator. I always forget how important reaching out to friends is when you’re single and even more when you’re not single! Thanks for sharing this, Sophia!

  2. It’s always that first step to reaching out that’s the hardest. But then you remember that the person on the other end might also be thinking the same thing. Knowing that always helps me when reaching out to others. 🙂 Keep the challenges coming!

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