One of the biggest fear that I used to have was going out into public alone. And by going out I mean a bar, club, or out eating alone. I used to feel awkward and paranoid like everyone was staring at me thinking I am some type of loser as to why I am out in public at a social gathering by myself.
Overtime I have learn to overcome my fear of going out alone. At least to an extent. For example I will go to a restaurant to go eat by myself but I still feel very uncomfortable going to sit at a bar by myself or going to a club by myself.
There are some pros of going “out” by yourself if you can overcome your own insecurities about looking lonely:
- You get to meet new people.
- You are more approachable as men feel more open to approaching a woman that is not surrounded by a whole group of people (specially their criticizing girlfriends).
- You get to learn to be less shy by stepping out the box and learning to be sociable.
There are some epic fail moments for me as well. Some of which I have experienced first hand when trying to out alone. They include:
- Going to a bar/ club and I guess I must have come too early. Because I was the only person in the whole entire club sitting at the bar.
- Going to a club and the club and it was a little on the ratchet side. Not to mention there was no place to sit down and look “lonely” in style. I was stuck standing up in the middle of a ratchet club by myself.
- Being seated at a restaurant and after telling them it is only going to be me they sat me at a huge booth by myself or a table by myself dead smack in the middle of the restaurant for all to see.
- Lastly is the look that the hostess gives you after telling her a table for one. You know that “I feel sorry for you, you have to eat alone” look.
This is why if I know I am going out alone I have a backup plan to keep myself busy and looking less board and lonely. They include:
- Bring a book to read.
- Bring your lab top or work so you can look busy. This way you are not just sitting there watching the paint dry if you do not find anyone to talk to.
- Bring a hobby that you wanted to work on, and work on it while you wait.
- Go during happy hour when it is busier and you are more prone to meet new people.
Just to show you I am a team player. This past week on my day off after shopping in the mall. I decided to go to TGIF Fridays during happy hour. I sat in a booth over sitting at the bar because I had my shopping bags with me. Here are some of the things that I did to make my date alone seem less awkward.
- I took pictures of my eventful date by myself. And do not worry it was not weird at all. In fact there was a man right next to me with his wife and two kids taking a selfie of himself drinking a cocktail. I kid you not.
- I talk to the waiter. We did not have an hour long conversation. But when he came by I laughed and joked with him, that way it feed my need for socialization.
- I drank. Now do not drink more than you can handle and become a sloppy psycho drunk in the middle of a bar. But since it is happy hour and cocktails are cheaper, drink up.
- And the last thing I did was eat like a pig. When you are with other people sometimes you are shy about eating food in front of them. Of course this is never the case for me. But for some people it is. So feel free to indulge and eat all the food on your plate with no judgement from anyone else.
Going out alone is the new fun and independent way to do things. Nine times out of ten no one is paying attention to you and it is your own paranoia about being alone in public that is causing you to look award.