As I watched the latest episode of Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, I must say that I was both appalled and disappointed by the recent events of one of my most favorite couples on the show. Shanda and Willie. I did not see him cheating on her coming. Their relationship always seemed genuine to me. But the real situation that I wanted to tackle is the “other woman.”
I do not want to excuse what Willie did. I feel that he was 100% wrong for stepping out on his wife, no matter if it was text messages or an affair. All of it is the same to me. But let’s focus on the “other woman.” My question is what did was she trying to accomplish by rolling up on his wife and telling her about the affair? If I had to guess, I believe that somewhere in her mind she thought that if Willie was not with his wife that he would somehow come to his senses and be with her.
Ladies that is a lie that married men tell or even men with a girlfriend will tell. I feel that married men can never really fall in love with their mistresses (read my blog here on that). And I feel that this is a perfect example of a stereotypical situation. It is a situation that “the other woman” falls into when they think that they have a chance with a married man. When in all actuality they don’t.
- Let’s review the facts of this case shall we
- The other woman claims:
- Willie has told her he loved her.
- They have been messing around together for 12 years.
- He was going to leave his wife for her and the only reason why he didn’t is because his wife was pregnant.
When really reviewing the details of the situation. All of it is irrelevant. None of it matters because these are all the lies that the “other woman” tell themselves as a way to convince themselves that their situation is more than what it is. I am sure that Willie did tell her these things. But actions speak louder than words. If a man wants to be with you then he would, he would not talk about being with you. He would just be with you. Point. Blank. Period.
Toward the end of the show the “other woman” reveals that she slept with Willie in December of 2015. Which was just last year AND she said that he took her to the Red Roof Inn in order to do the deed. I mean let’s be real here. I do feel that he slept with her on in December because she was way too specific. BUT the Red Roof Inn does not equal a relationship. Nowhere in that sentence did he take her on a date, out to eat, or bought her some clothes. He did not even take her to a five star resort or a nice vacation. Just the Red Roof Inn and somehow she was proud of this. Women should never confuse sex for love. Sex does not equal love, sex is just that……sex. This man did not do anything with her that proved that he loved her. The only thing that he did was spit her some lies and took her to the Red Roof Inn.
What all women need to take away from this story is that.
Men will tell you anything to get what they want from you.
This is not all men of course. But the way to test if a man is really into you, is to not give them what they want (which is mostly sex) and see if they stick around.
Despite what they say men are never going to do what they do not want to do.
I do not care what Willie said about his wife to the “other woman.” That is his wife. He would not have married her and still been with her several years later if he did not want to be with her. If he wanted to leave his wife for another woman, then he would do just that. But since he didn’t, then you can assume that with his wife is where he wants to be.
A man will always chose his main woman over the side woman.
The “other woman” claimed that they had been messing around on and off for the past 12 years. But the fact of the matter remains is that when he was in front of his wife, he denied the “other woman” so quick that I am sure it made her head spin. If you are ever wondering if you are a side chick, put yourself up against the main chick. If a man takes her side over yours, then you have your answer.
The last take away from all this is women please do not put yourself in this situation. Do not be the woman showing up to a man’s wife telling her that her marriage is all a front. Because even though her marriage may not be perfect, she has a ring and you do not. If her husband wanted to leave her then he would and there is nothing that you can do or say that is going to force that situation. Do not put yourself in someone else marriage (see my blog here) you have no place in it. And never think that by breaking up someone else’s marriage means the man will automatically come to you. Be smart about it.