Are you dating emotionally immature men? You may be wondering if you are doing something wrong as to why you are running to all these emotionally immature men in the dating world. It is possible that you are doing something wrong. The wrong thing you are doing is picking the wrong type of men.
I rather you put the blame on yourself for picking emotionally immature men, instead of trying to find a logical explanation for a man’s emotional immaturity, sometimes it is best to just accept that some people just are not that deep of a person. The reason why they are not that deep of a person is simply because they do not want to be.
A major flaw that women have is that they want to make every excuse in the world for men. Instead of trying to find a logical explanation for emotionally immature men, just accept that some people just are not that deep of a person. As women we want to bring up the fact that a man has been hurt before, has had a bad childhood, or that he has some deep rooted mental illness as to the reason why he is emotionally immature. Women make excuses for a man when really he is probably just a shallow man, no ifs and or buts about it. He is choosing to be emotionally immature because that is who he wants to be.
Some signs of emotionally immature men are that they prefer to take you to their bed over a date. Also check out my blog on where is my Boaz for examples of an emotionally mature man.
He may not want to talk about a future but rather talk to you about how he can get you in his bed.
He may not want to talk about marriage or monogamy, and the only title he wants to give you includes the names he calls you in bed.
True story. I can recall when I lived with my ex-boyfriend some years ago, his main pet peeve of me was that I wanted to talk about religion, spiritual things, and what I wanted out of the future. He did not want to do that. He just wanted to have sex (before I became celibate, see my blog here on my story), play video games, and watch porn. I went along with it because like most women, I did not want to loose my man. I did not want to face the fact that he was one of many emotionally immature men and he simply was not that deep.
I was brought back to a time in college in which I was living in Atlanta to yet another one of these emotionally immature men. This one said I was pretty for a “dark skin girl” and that he normally does not go for dark skin women. He made it seem like I should have been happy he was choosing me. He decided to take me out on a date. Or his version of a date. When he came to pick me up, he took me to a cheap motel. Once we got in, he undressed to his boxers, got in the bed, revealing the house arrest bracelet on his ankle. He told me he had a limited amount of time to be with me because he had to be home by 7 pm.
Imagine his disappointment when I just sat on the edge of the bed looking at him like he was crazy. I was in shock. I think this was my first real encounter with an emotionally immature man. One who thinks that women are here for his sole entertainment and pleasure and that him taking me out on a date was code word for the Motel 6.
After about 15 minutes seeing that he was not going to get any, he went to the front desk and ask for a refund for the room. He dropped me off back at the college telling me that he would call me. He never did. I did not expect him to. He was not that deep of a person.
I would love to go on and on, and horrify you with my dating stories. And if you really want to get horrified by my dating stories I have many of them. You can click here, here, and here to read some of them.
But I tell my stories not to discourage you but to show you that some men are not they deep some men are emotionally immature men and often times it has nothing to do with you BUT everything to do with them. They do not want a marriage, they do not want a relationship, they do not want anything out of life and men like this do not really care about you all they really care about is what they can get out of you.
They are emotionally immature men. They do not have some childhood trauma that keeps them from loving someone properly. They do not need a strong woman like you to make them mature. And they are not scared to fall in love. Sometimes the simplest answer is the best answer and that is that there are emotionally immature men that are not that deep and they have no problem with the way they are.
As a woman there is no need to try to take on the responsibility of changing a man or to try to make them see what a wonderful woman they were passing up. It is not your job or your place as a woman to do that. It is a man’s job to lead. And if he does not want to lead himself out of the land of emotionally immature men and shallow people, then let him stay in it. Do
not beat yourself up wondering why you were overlooked. Do NOT pray to God every day hoping that God will somehow open their eyes and MAKE them see that you are the one. And most importantly do not make excuses for a man shortcomings.
Some people do not care to have a purpose, do not think about their future family, do not think about getting married, nor do they think about treating other people right. It is not up to you to change every twisted and jilted person. It is also not up to you to sit, cry, and be sad over what they are not. Just because they are not about anything special does not mean that you have to stoop down to their level by becoming nothing special too.
Do not shrink your intellect, purpose, or intention so that emotionally immature not so deep men will feel not inadequate around you. Do not be afraid to stand out in a group of superficial people. Do not be afraid that if you are about something of if you stand out then men will not want to be bothered by you.
Even if it means that you have to take a dating break or break up with your current boyfriend because you know that your relationship is on the path to nowhere. It is better to leave emotionally immature men alone then it is to engage in a situation which you know that you will ultimately get hurt and hinder your own personal growth.