5 Life Lessons That I learned In My 20’s. A Reflection of a 30 Something Female


Your 30’s and your 20’s are like night and day. The moment you hit 30, all of a sudden you realize that you have a low tolerance for stupidity.  In my 20’s I did a lot of stupid things, with a lot of stupid people, and felt like it was okay.  In my 30’s a light bulb goes off in my head and you want to quit all of the crazy and become a well-functioning adult.  So here are my 5 things that I learned in my 20’s versus me versus 30’s.

Stop Given Men My Time That Did Not Deserve Time.

In my 20’s I dated whoever asked me out on a date. Sometimes I would be dating 2-4 men at a time.  In a way this was good because I found out what I liked versus what I did not like.  It was also bad because I was giving men my time that did not deserve my time, which was taking away from the real things I was supposed to be doing. In my 30’s I have a short attention span.  I do not have the time or energy to date a whole bunch of people.  Especially since I have come to a point in my life where I want to settle down and spreading myself thin or giving a lot of men my time is just not in the agenda any more.  I rather date the right one then a whole bunch of wrong ones.dumb woman

That I have a Destiny

I was never a slacker per se. I went to college and did the typically 20 year old thing.  But I never really thought about what I wanted to do with my life and how I wanted to get there.  I went to college, got a job, got an apartment, had a car; all the stuff I was supposed to do, but never really thought about what I wanted to do.  In my 30’s I have a very clear picture about what I want to do and am willing to work hard to get it. There is a whole world out there for the taking, and I chose to believe that I can be and have anything I want with hard work and perseverance.

Know Myself

I have no idea who that 20 year old women who called herself by my named and resemble me was. She was a hot mess.  I do not know who that woman was, I did not what she wanted, and that 20 year old girl did not know anything.  She would allow other people to define who she was.  Now I know who I am and I will not let anyone tell me different.  Either you accept me for me or you don’t.  I am not willing to change for anyone.  And that is the beauty of both knowing and accepting yourself.

I Learned To Hold My Tounge

I used to be the girl that if you rubbed me the wrong way I would read you to filth. Some people think that this is a sign of strength.  Saying what is on your mind all of the time no matter if people like it or not.  Now I know how to hold my tongue and I have learned to have self-control.  Self-control is the strength.  Anyone can say whatever comes to their mind, it takes a stronger person to know when to speak and know when to be silent.  It takes an even stronger person to know when to say some that build someone up versus saying something that pulls someone down.  (Check out my blog on out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks)

15433206_lI Learned To Accept Myself.

I am no longer 21, I am no longer a size 6, I can no longer long to go to the past and think about what I could have or should have done. All the decision that I made in the past are in the past and I have to live with them.  I learned that I cannot go back, I have to live in the present and be the person that my past has made me to be.  I can either learn from all the mistakes that I have made or I can live in the past and wish that I have never made them.  No matter if I like it or not, everything that I have done, every decision that I have made; and shaped me into the person that I am today.  And I have learned to accept that although I am not perfect I am a pretty awesome person.  (Click here to read my blog on accepting yourself).

As I go through my 30’s I am sure that there is plenty of life lessons to be learned and more challenges I will have to face. If anything that my 20’s have taught me is that I have to live life, go through the process, and not be in a rush to get older.  I will be 40 before I know it and I want to look back on my 30’s and say that I lived every moment to the fullest.



About Sophia Reed (313 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at sophiareed@sophie-sticatedmom.com

18 Comments on 5 Life Lessons That I learned In My 20’s. A Reflection of a 30 Something Female

  1. If we only knew new what we didn’t know then. 20’s is over rated.

  2. Love this! <3

  3. You couldn’t have said it better. I so regret giving men who didn’t deserve my time so much of it in my 20’s.

  4. Great post. I think we learn so much about ourselves in our 20’s.

    – Elise | http://www.prettyandfun.com

  5. Great lessons. I am still struggling to learn the ‘hold your tongue’ lesson 😀

  6. I loved my 20s, they were full of adventure and carefree moments. But 30s have their different adventures, and I found that my relationships with others were more authentic and more closely connected. Enjoy!

  7. Amazing post! I loved this. It’s so true and you made it funny

  8. Great post to be honest I think the whole giving time thing applies to everyone not just people you are dating. Life is too short to spend tie with people who don’t appreciate you or who bring you down.

  9. Amazing post! These are so true. At 25 i’m still trying to accept myself but I’m much better than I was 3 years ago.

  10. All of the lessons you learned are valuable ones. The trick is to keep living with them as time goes on… Getting older is NOT a bad thing. We figure out more and more as we go along. 🙂

  11. agentbeautylife // June 7, 2016 at 11:32 pm // Reply

    I would have dated MORE! At the verge of 30, there is so much to reflect on. This is a great reflection.

  12. I’m turning 30 in 2 months and I can really relate to almost everything esp. staying away from other people’s drama. Ha! Great post dear 🙂

    ♥ from http://www.expatpetite.blogspot.com

  13. I think that knowing yourself and being true to yourself and who you are is one of the most important lessons that we can learn as adults.

  14. Great post! I have 2 more years in my 20s to learn from!

  15. This is such an insightful and thought-provoking post, Loved reading your lessons! I learnt to Learned To Hold My Tongue in my 30’s

  16. reinventingjess // June 8, 2016 at 6:03 pm // Reply

    Funny – I stopped holding my tongue as much once I hit my 30’s – I think it’s a byproduct of having less tolerance for stupid bulls*** and less reason to not say something. I’m loving my ’30’s – the 20’s were tough!

  17. So empowering thank you! Also can you provide me with details on your hair in video?

  18. Angie@chasingmyhalo // June 9, 2016 at 5:18 am // Reply

    So.much.yes!! They all ring true but if I could go back and tell my 20 year old self it would def be #1!!

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