Those Who Settle For Bad Relationships and Then Try To Call It Love.

I do not know what goes on in the minds of human beings.  It seems as if the norm is to accept dysfunction as normalcy, and normalcy as high expectation when it comes to relationships.  I cannot tell you how many times I have seen, heard, observed, or counseled women who seem to think that a loving relationship consists of a man hurting them.

I do not think that a woman under any circumstances should be chasing a man.   He who FINDS a wife, FINDS a good thing.  Not she who puts up with nonsense and worries a man to death until he marries her, finds a good thing.

When I hear some women describe their relationships some of their complaints go a lot like this:

  • He cheats on me
  • He hurts me
  • He calls me dumb
  • He puts me down
  • He ignores me
  • He pays attention to other women more than me
  • He does not like my kids 
  • We argue all the time
  • He hangs up in my face
  • He tells me that he can do better

But then the next thing out of their mouth is:


And I often have this dumb founded look on my face.  What in the world is there to love about any of the above things that I just said.  Why would you love someone who hurts, disrespect you, and call you names? So many people want to fall in love that they try to force love with anyone in many cases the wrong one.  They even try to convince themselves that the  jacked up behaviors a man shows them means that they love them.

How many times have you heard women make excuses for jacked up men?  Saying that they never had a father, they have been hurt in the past, or they do not know how to express their emotions.  Stop making excuses for why a man treats you like a like the poop on the bottom of his shoe.  And do not use the issues of your past to excuse why you are staying with him and allowing him to treat you like poop on the bottom of his shoe. If he is a bad man, he is a bad man.  Point blank period.

I think the bigger issue  is that many people do not know what love is and therefore, they do not know what to look for.

 A person that loves you is not going to say and do things to intentionally to hurt you.  They are not going to beat you, and try to break down your self esteem so that they have control over you.  If by chance they are wrong, they apologize with the intent to never hurt you again.

  • Therefore, women whose men who have cheated on them 4 and 5 times, this is not love.
  • Women who have men that tell them they are fat and ugly and remind them everyday that they can do better, this is not love.
  • Men who do not want to claim you and only knows you behind closed doors in between the sheets of their bedroom, this is not love.

Someone who loves you, you will know it.  I have come to learn to open my eyes and not accept someone treating me any less than how I want to be treated.  And it means that people have called me stuck up.  It means that you may have some more time alone because many men are not willing to put forth the effort that it takes to be with you.  It may even mean that you need to cut some people, that you have been back and forth with for the past few years, off.  It may mean you may spend some Saturday and Friday nights alone.

Weed out the people who are not ready or incapable of being in a relationship and save yourself for a person that is.  Why would you want to stay in heartache with someone all for the sake of saying that you are in a relationship? When you know deep down that your relationship is not a real relationship at all.If you rather be in any relationship over a good relationship, then you may have some work to do on yourself.  Because something is really wrong here.  You should not want to sacrifice your own happiness just so that you can have the right to put “ in a relationship” on your Facebook status.  If you even earn that right.  This used to be me.  But then I woke up and decided not to stay stupid.  God told me that I deserve better and then I decided to agree with Him.


About Sophia Reed (313 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at

2 Comments on Those Who Settle For Bad Relationships and Then Try To Call It Love.

  1. dawnklinge // May 5, 2016 at 10:11 pm // Reply

    It’s sad when women don’t see their true worth and allow men to treat them so terribly. We are loved and valued, so much, that Christ died for us.
    Thank you for linking with Grace and Truth last week.

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