Never settle for less in a relationship. Never settled for a dysfunctional relationship and try to call it normal. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen, heard, observed, or counseled women who seem to think that their bad relationship is good because they believe that a man loves him. They try to outline the one semi-positive thing a man does for them out of all of the bad and tries to make it seem like the relationship is good.
I do not think that a woman under any circumstances should be chasing a man or trying to convince herself that a man loves her. She should just know that he loves her. Remember he who FINDS a wife, FINDS a good thing (see my blog here). Not she who puts up with nonsense and worries a man to death until he marries her, finds a good thing. Why would any woman want to settle for less and make a man love her? Why wouldn’t she just want to the man to love her because she is her, not because she has shoved herself down his throat.
Common complaints of women who settle consist of the following:
- He cheats on me
- He hurts me
- He calls me dumb
- He puts me down
- He ignores me
- He pays attention to other women more than me
- He does not like my kids
- We argue all the time
- He hangs up in my face
- He tells me that he can do better
And when I ask why they stay, the next thing out of their mouth is:
“BUT I LOVE HIM!”
And I often have this dumb founded look on my face. What in the world is there to love about any of the above things that I just said. Why would you love someone who hurts, disrespect you, and call you names? So many people want to fall in love that they try to force love with anyone even if it is wrong. They even try to convince themselves that the jacked up behaviors a man shows them means that they love them.
How many times have you heard women make excuses for jacked up men? Saying that they never had a father, they have been hurt in the past, or they do not know how to express their emotions. Stop making excuses for why a man treats you like the poop on the bottom of his shoe. And do not use the issues of your past to excuse why you are staying with a man that treats you bad. I think the bigger issue is that many people do not know what love is and therefore, they do not know what to look for.
A person that loves you is not going to say and do things to intentionally to hurt you. Click To Tweet
They are not going to beat you or try to break down your self esteem so that they have control over you. If by chance they are wrong, they apologize with the intent to never hurt you again. THAT IS WHAT REAL LOVE IS.
Therefore, women whose men have cheated on them 4 and 5 times, this is not love.
Women who have men that tell them they are fat and ugly and reminds her everyday that he can do better, this is not love.
Men who do not want to claim you and only knows you behind closed doors in between the sheets of their bedroom, this is not love.
If someone loves you, you will know it. Never settle for less. And not settling may mean that you may have some more time alone because many men are not willing to put forth the effort that it takes to be with you. It may even mean that you need to cut some people off that you have been back and forth with for the past few years. It may mean you may spend some Saturday and Friday nights alone.
Weed out the people who are not ready or incapable of being in a relationship and save yourself for a person that is. Why would you want to stay in heartache with someone all for the sake of saying that you are in a relationship? When you know deep down that your relationship is not a real relationship at all.
If you rather be in any relationship over a good relationship, then you may have some work to do on yourself. Because something is really wrong there. You should not want to sacrifice your own happiness just so that you can have the right to put “ in a relationship” on your Facebook status. If you even earn that right. You have to tell yourself like I once told myself. Never settle for less. I remember when God told me that I deserve better than what I was getting. And I chose to believe Him. And if God has never told you that, then I am telling you now. You deserve to be in a great relationship with a man that really loves you. Not one that you have to turn on the delusion in your head and convince yourself that he loves you. That is not real love.