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What Really Turns Me On As A Woman

Maybe I am the type of person that is just abnormally deep.  And by deep I mean I enjoy having an intellectual conversation with a man more than anything else.  When I date a man, him telling me how much he likes my butt, my body, or the things he wants to do to me (sexually) does not turn me on.  It grosses me out.  I am celibate now, but before I was, I enjoyed sex just like the next person.  As a matter of fact even more so!

But when I am dating someone that does not mean I want to talk about sex.  I do not want to hear about your penis….or get random penis pictures from you on my phone.  I do not want you to talk about my vagina, not any of that crap.  I have learned long ago, that sex, sex talk, or sex pictures is not what sustains a relationship.  If all you talk about is sex, then sex is all you have between you.

Now do you really want to know what turns me on?  Stimulating conversations! Yes.  Knowing that you have a brain and that you have read a book without pictures in it… absolutely drives me wild!  And what turns me on even more is a man that has a career, a direction, and knows where he wants to go in life.  Now that is real foreplay!

It baffles me that some men think the way to a women’s heart is to tell her how you want to beat up her vagina.  What in the world is romantic about that?  I cannot spend 24 hours out of the day on my back, having sex with you.  That may be good for one hour, and for some men 20 minutes, but for the rest of the 23 hours and 40 minutes we actually need to have something in common.  Or even take me on a date.  And not to the Chinese Buffet or Golden Coral, but a date in which I have to get dressed up.  AND a wait staff will come and take my order AND when the check comes the man digs in his pockets and pays for my meal.  That is what turns me on!

I understand that to some men and women this is a foreign concept.  I have been on dates with men who on the first date wanted me to give him a lap dance, tried to get me drunk and take me home, or talk about their sexual fantasy.  As you may have guest.  I am with none of those men now.  Not only because I saw them as perverted sex predators, but because they could not even muster up a normal conversation in which we get to know each other.

Each woman is different, but I pray I am not the only woman that wants someone normal.  That knows how to properly formulate dialogue in which we talk back and forth, otherwise known as having a conversation.  And a man that knows what a date is, and know that it does no consist of coming to his house OR him coming to mind trying to eat up all my food.  You feel me!

About Sophia Reed (293 Articles)
I am a single mother of one, Christian, and Lover of Life. I have a Master's degree in marriage and family therapy, I am a National Certified Counselor, and I am currently a PhD candidate in Human Behavior. I love motivating others and encouraging all women to be beautiful from the inside and out. To get in contact with me, you can email me at

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